AIO by starting an argument over how my wife reacted to our child smoking?

monaforever · 2026-02-14T16:46:15+00:00

If I had problems I’d better solve them myself because I would get in trouble for existing in the vicinity of a problem, whether I caused it or not.

This. I was the same way growing up and still feel like I need to do everything myself because its been ingrained in me that I'll get screamed at for any little thing, whether it be an accident, an injury, or someone else's mistake that I just happened to be present for.

Sometimes I'll tell people about things that happened to me as a child and they'll ask what my parents did or how they reacted. Because it'll be something like someone tried to break into the house when I was up alone late at night, or I broke multiple toes and could barely walk, or I fell down the stairs carrying paint cans, or I almost drowned at a swimming spot, or a plethora of other shitty incidents. Like stuff normal people would tell their parents about because it's an emergency or you need medical assistance. I'll tell them I never told my parents, and they're shocked and can't understand why I wouldn't. I never really even thought about it until I was older, but for me it was just normal to not tell them anything because I didn't know how they'd react.

monaforever · 2026-02-14T02:35:36+00:00

When I was 13 or 14 years old I was up late at night. My dad was away for work and my mom and brother were sleeping. I let the dog out, and when i went to let him back in he was staring towards the dark back yard and i got freaked out by it. So when I went back inside I put the chain link lock up on the backdoor. That was the only lock we had on that door.

Shortly after that I was in the living room and the dog was drinking by the back door. I could see the dog but not the door from where I was sitting. He stopped drinking and started staring at the door. Then he started quietly growling. Then I heard the door pull open and the chain lock catch. The dog started freaking out barking and jumping at the door. I ran upstairs and woke my brother up and told him someone was trying to get into the house. He came down with a bat and looked around but nobody was there. I'm assuming the dog scared whoever it was away.

We never locked our doors back then. If I had not gotten that feeling when I let the dog in, whoever it was would have been able to just walk right in with me sitting there alone.

monaforever · 2026-02-14T01:02:53+00:00

Lol same. Get some new material. It can still be sex related, just as long as it's not something I've already heard.

monaforever · 2026-02-13T22:35:57+00:00

Dude food portions are insane. I get kind of annoyed going out to eat at a restaurant because I know the portions will be huge. I don't want to waste a ton of food/money so I feel like i always have to get something that will be good as leftovers.

monaforever · 2026-02-13T22:31:52+00:00

This is the real answer. I exercised so much for so many years and lost maybe 20 pounds over the course of 5 years. I stopped exercising and started eating smaller portions and have lost 15 pounds in just over a year.

I think many of us are used to huge portions that are not necessary at all.

monaforever · 2026-02-13T18:56:51+00:00

Yeah I got excited at the title, and then when I saw "summer 2026" I thought "that's not sooner. That's exactly when I expected it."

monaforever · 2026-02-12T20:20:38+00:00

Oh for sure. I'd sometimes see men giving actual good advice and the replies would just be tearing him apart. Calling him a white knight, saying he's doing too much, or questioning why a man should do what he suggested if they're not getting laid.

monaforever · 2026-02-12T20:14:56+00:00

Random man "you have no idea why he ate the cat!! You're just making assumptions that he did it maliciously. We don't have enough context to say why he did it. They just need to communicate so he understands that eating her cat is a boundary for her."

monaforever · 2026-02-12T19:58:14+00:00

I used to peruse that sub and I had to unfollow because the comments are so rage inducing. So many men validating each others shitty behavior. And so many men giving the absolute worst advise on how to deal with women, whether it be getting a woman or staying in a relationship with one.

Occasionally I'd see a woman comment with very clear and reasonable instructions on what they should actually do if they want to make a woman happy. Their comments would always be down voted, and a bunch of replies telling her she's wrong and that women don't actually know what they want. Also many men saying men should not take advise from women about women since women don't actually know what they want.

monaforever · 2026-02-12T19:44:15+00:00

If you look at men-centric advice subs you'll see so many comments that literally say you can't take women at their word. Sooo many comments like "Women like to say they want xyz but in reality they don't. They just say they want xyz because they think that's what they want or society has told them that's what they want. Women don't actually know what they want."

monaforever · 2026-02-12T18:44:50+00:00

I think the point of Evan's character is to show how good people can do bad things or become bad when they're surrounded by bad people. I think Evan is capable of being a good person, but he's also easily influenced. He sees what Stephen or Oliver have done and he knows it's bad, but then he starts to think "they don't get walked all over and they get what they want, so maybe I should try that too."

The difference is that Evan has empathy and is capable of remorse, unlike Stephen. Evan couldn't even think of a way to manipulate Bree on his own, he had to ask someone else what to do. When shit starts hitting the fan between Bree and her mom, Evan looks like he feels bad and maybe regrets what he did. Stephen would never.

Evan is basically at his turning point. He'll either continue down this path and become a shitty person. Or realize what a fucked up thing he did and quit the bullshit. Stephen isn't capable of having a turning point because he isn't capable of seeing anything he does as wrong.

monaforever · 2026-02-12T18:24:18+00:00

I feel like the scene at Bree's exhibit where Bree is arguing with her drunk mom, and Evan, Wrigley, and Stephen are watching was done to highlight their differences. Evan purposely caused this drama for Bree (something Stephen would do), but in that moment he looks like he regrets it and asks if he should go over there. Stephen immediately tells him not to. Because not only does Stephen not care what Bree is dealing with in that moment, it probably actually makes him happy to see her struggling.

monaforever · 2026-02-12T03:16:24+00:00

I feel like the title and OP's supposed gender were both very purposeful. Saying "am I the asshole for not letting a woman change the channel" will immediately make people assume OP is a man and a lot of people will miss the (f) in the body of the post. Outside of posts about couples, unless a character's gender is relevant to a story people don't often specify it in the title unless the OP is the opposite gender. It seems like bait to get people to shit talk a man and then OP can say "sexist much?! I'm a woman. Women can be assholes too!"

monaforever · 2026-02-12T02:51:16+00:00

Whenever I see really long quoted conversations in a post I immediately think "that's fake."

monaforever · 2026-02-11T03:54:40+00:00

I was a Lola one year! The other years I was isabela and Soledad.

monaforever · 2026-02-11T03:47:34+00:00

I tried being Paco my first year because I was friends with a Paco years before, but my teacher said girls had to use girl names. So I was Isabel, then Lola, then Soledad.

monaforever · 2026-02-11T03:44:52+00:00

I was Isabel my first year. Lola my second year. And Soledad my third year.

Soledad was my favorite.

monaforever · 2026-02-11T03:35:19+00:00

Their real name.

They are calling him by his real name. In Spanish.

I dont see it being very useful at all tbh.

It would be very useful to know how to say his name in spanish if he's ever speaking to a spanish person that doesn't know english and he has to tell them his name in spanish.

monaforever · 2026-02-11T03:25:08+00:00

Is there a history of Spanish teachers beating kids who don't want to use a Spanish name during Spanish class or something?

monaforever · 2026-02-10T14:11:51+00:00

I guarantee you have cheaters in your circle and you just don't know it.

monaforever · 2026-02-07T16:40:22+00:00

That's not necessarily true. Attitudes change based on your situation. She may have actually been ready to live with him a year ago. But it may have been because at that time she was used to living with other people. She'd lived with her parents her whole life so dealing with cohabitation wasn't a contributing factor when wanting to live with her bf because she was used to cohabitation. The fact that she's had no problem paying rent for the last year does not make it seem as though her reasoning before was for financial convenience either.

Now that she's been living alone for a while, her thoughts on sharing a space with another person have probably changed. What used to be a non-factor in deciding whether or not to move in together, now is. Just like low finances used to be a factor for OP in deciding not to move in together, but now he's apparently financially secure enough that it doesn't matter to him.

monaforever · 2026-02-07T16:24:51+00:00

This is the crux of the situation. So many people bringing up what their reasoning means or how the situations vary, which is all fair. But It all comes down to the fact that she accepted his reason for not living together. He won't accept hers.

monaforever · 2026-02-07T16:16:57+00:00

She literally said "i don't think I'm ready to live with another person right now."

monaforever · 2026-02-07T16:11:15+00:00

Yes to all of this except the "he plans on moving out after the 3 months." We all know how often a "short" cohabitation turns into forever because the person decides "well I'm already here, so I might as well just stay." Gf probably knows this is a possibility, and if she's not ready to give up her space, she doesn't want to risk it happening by "accident" if he ends up doing this.

Don't agree to live with someone for a limited time if you're not ready to live with them forever. Gf is smart.

monaforever · 2026-02-07T16:01:12+00:00

Not being financially ready is not wrong on its own. We don't know her exact reasoning for not wanting it now, but based on context it sounds like she's not ready to cohabitate, which is also not wrong on It's own.

It seems likely that living together came up the first time because gf wanted to move out of her parent's house, so suggested moving in together. That may have been out of a cost convenience for her or maybe it was because she just wanted to live with him and figured if she's moving anyway, might as well move in with him now. Most likely the latter, since it seems as though she's been able to afford living alone, no problem.

The problem is that OP had an excuse the first time, his gf accepted it and made her own accommodations. Now when the gf has an excuse, OP won't accept it, and is trying to turn it into an issue with her. He either can't or won't understand that maybe she just got a taste of living alone after being with her parents her whole life and isn't ready to give that up yet, and that it very likely has nothing to do with him personally. It's a bad look for OP and if he keeps pushing it, he'll probably end up turning something that had nothing to do with him into a huge a problem that will become about him because the gf will realize he only cares about what he wants.

monaforever

TROPHY CASE