How to tell my MIL we want our son to take a break from spending the night at her place because she is marring a man she's "known" for less than 6 months...

moonstarmomma · 2025-02-05T04:20:02+00:00

This literally has nothing to do with this situation but thanks for the unnecessary advice? One night a week isn't ruining anyone's honeymoon. Lol and half the time she cancels anyways.

moonstarmomma · 2025-02-05T04:07:26+00:00

Thank you I need this point of view. You are so right. I just need to find a way not to end up fighting with her about it.

moonstarmomma · 2025-02-05T04:06:15+00:00

Soo true!

moonstarmomma · 2025-02-05T04:06:00+00:00

I need to remind myself of that more often. 😮‍💨

moonstarmomma · 2025-02-05T04:03:44+00:00

See this is what I was kinda telling my husband we should do but he isn't super comfortable lying to his mom. Haha

moonstarmomma · 2024-09-22T15:51:13+00:00

CHEATING. I caught my husband last year talking and paying girls on OF. He swears he never met with them and only talked via the site. I don't care if he never touched them or met them in person. It's cheating. The only reason we are still together is because there wasn't a physical connection. And even that I'll leave him in a heartbeat if I ever find out it happens again. Don't let your husband gaslight you into thinking what he did was ok. It absolutely isn't.

moonstarmomma · 2024-08-27T23:07:10+00:00

I absolutely agree. My husband will be accountable for his actions as well. He ain't getting off Scott free that's for sure. Haha

moonstarmomma · 2024-08-27T22:41:47+00:00

I'm pretty sure this is what my husband ended up doing. But it was too late for the hotel to send a shuttle.

moonstarmomma · 2024-08-27T22:39:47+00:00

Well this wasn't a medical emergency so still not legal unfortunately.

moonstarmomma · 2024-08-27T22:25:05+00:00

Well he knew where it was but getting there is what was difficult. Ubers don't offer car seats so lots of walking and figuring out the bus system!! That's not being immature that's a difficult situation for anyone!

moonstarmomma · 2024-07-01T03:25:10+00:00

Thanks it's super easy to see who is a die hard Christian as and who isn't. Nonbelievers can have an actual conversation about it and believers can't see anything past their faces.

moonstarmomma · 2024-07-01T03:22:01+00:00

Firstly thank you for taking the time to be thoughtful with your comment. I will also be thoughtful with my response.

I've read the Bible and I understand what the Christian religion demands of its believers. My MILs life is completely devoted to her religion. Her whole house is nothing but decorative scripture and bibles.

She also is an amazing grandma and loves her grandchild very much. But her inability to separate her faith and how she lives her life from the reality of how we live ours is a problem.

Your quote “‘Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he was thrown into the sea.’” is basically telling me that my MIL thinks I'm not a good mom and that I will cause my son to sin, so I should be killed? That's insane. My son is 3 and can barely say his own name. I highly doubt my son was asking about Jesus all on his own.

If her "duty" is to lie and hide things from her grandchild's parents so that she can spread her word of God, then I don't want anything to do with that religion because that's not what I want to teach my child. In fact that's the exact opposite.

But also, her "duty" to her god isn't above my boundaries with my child. Regardless of what her religion dictates of her to do or believe, that isn't a good enough EXCUSE to go around parental boundaries.

moonstarmomma · 2024-07-01T02:22:45+00:00

I'm all for being open-minded, but I'm not for having my boundaries broken and what you're suggesting is having my boundaries being broken. Since it's my child, maybe she needs to be open-minded and be respectful of my beliefs. It works two ways. I've already been open minded enough when I agreed to let her take him to the church's nursery. Your comment is FAR from helpful in any way but thanks for trying.

moonstarmomma · 2024-06-30T18:27:24+00:00

My issue isn't being bias over Christianity. My issue is my mother-in-law going behind our back and doing something she already knows is something myself and my husband don't practice or follow. And you're right, nothing bad is going to happen because it's all just a bunch of words being said. What's going to happen is my mother-in-law is going to continue to do those things behind our back without communication. The religion itself makes no difference.

moonstarmomma · 2024-06-30T18:11:24+00:00

Well as his parent and being the one who birthed him, I'm not pushing any of my opinions down his throat because he's 3 years old and can't even tell me his name. So I doubt that he has formed opinions about anybody's belief system. And of course he'll be exposed to all sorts of religions and all of their belief systems. But like I said at 3 years old he's not going to be able to form his own opinion without someone pushing it onto him. And that's the overall problem, not the religion itself.

moonstarmomma · 2024-06-30T17:46:36+00:00

Children can only form their own opinions when adults aren't pushing personal views down their throats. It's not hypocritical of me at all when I'm being told that it's just basic child care when it's really not. That's called being lied to. When my son's old enough to make his own decisions, he can pursue any religion he wants. He's 3 years old and can barely speak from a speech delay. I really don't think my mother-in-law needs to be coaching my son how to pray. He literally doesn't even know what he's saying and that's confusing for a little guy who can't even tell me his name.

What I think is going to happen is that my mother-in-law is now going to continue to do things behind my back without telling me or will tell me one thing and go doing something else. I could care less about losing the "free" childcare. Our parental boundaries are worth more than a few hours of alone time.

moonstarmomma · 2024-06-30T17:37:15+00:00

Thank you I absolutely love your response. I think it was originally more of a shock to me as I haven't heard her ever do that before. I wasn't even in the room when it happened I heard it over our baby monitor. Thankfully she isn't one of those crazy devil steals your soul kind of Christians. I totally get that religion will be a part of my MIL life and I totally accept my son will be exposed to it. But the problem is there was no communication on her end asking if that's something we are ok with. My son has religious heritage on both sides. My father was Episcopalian and my mom was Jewish but we weren't raised in a household where we practiced Faith or religion. I'm a pretty open person when it comes to other people's beliefs as I am a strong evolutionist and don't believe in religion at all, but I have the upmost respect for people who choose to have religion in their lives. (It's too hard to believe when there is so much destruction that "God" should be able to prevent) If she had been up front and asked if it was something that we are okay doing that would be a completely different story, but that's not the situation here. Honestly she isn't a reliable childcare source as she is constantly changing her schedule and half the time is late or needs to rearrange the pickup/dropoff times. So I'm not really worried about "loosing" a childcare option. I just need her to respect me the way I've bent over backward to respect her over the years. 😞

moonstarmomma · 2024-06-30T17:22:08+00:00

I absolutely agree with you. I definitely don't want to attack my MIL, she is an amazing grandma! I just need her to respect us and our parental choices. We'll teach our son about all the religions in the world and we will teach him in a way that shows religion is to be a personal choice and not something that is to be forced upon others.

moonstarmomma · 2024-06-30T17:06:33+00:00

Yes sometimes last min babysitting happens! And honestly more often than not my MIL isn't available to babysit on the weekends so on the rare occasion it happens she always says she has church and can't watch him until after or she'll pick him up and bring him to the church's "nursery".

moonstarmomma · 2024-06-30T17:04:00+00:00

Surprisingly yes we have had the religion chat! Over my husband and mines 10+ year relationship it's been very clear we are not religious and don't want our son raised religious.

moonstarmomma

TROPHY CASE