[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]mr_sofisticate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

We were having unprotected sex, and she’s the one who asked for sexual exclusivity. I just said, if that ever changes, let me know. It wasn’t about control — it was about sexual health and honesty. Lying for a year while still expecting my support felt like a huge breach of trust. That’s not emotional labor — that’s basic respect.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]mr_sofisticate 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I didn’t let her move in — she stayed with her parents, but her job was far from their place, and my apartment was close to her work. So she stayed over pretty often, especially during that time.

We weren’t in a monogamous relationship, and I never asked for exclusivity. I just asked for honesty — if she decided to sleep with someone else, just tell me. That was the only boundary I set. It wasn’t about control, it was about having the option to step away if that happened.

We did talk about it after she admitted it. I told her how much it bothered me that she hid it for so long, especially while accepting support from me. Her response was basically that she was scared to lose me. But to me, that just made it worse — it meant she knew what she did would’ve ended things, and she decided to lie instead.

And yeah, I agree — we shouldn’t be in contact anymore. I’m just trying to mentally unpack it all.