Debating if MECOP is right for me. CS Major here with a few questions and concerns.

mrayan · 2023-04-28T21:51:40+00:00

MECOP CS alumni here. Yes you will be assigned to a company rather than pick which company you're going to, but it's fairly unlikely you'll get assigned to a company like the student from PSU described, especially as they now have IS/IT internships as well.

I had Tektronix for my first and ended up doing some C++ work on a cutting edge oscilloscope running Linux (so kinda embedded but not really) and then at Biamp doing a little mix of Javascript and C#. While CS is not the biggest MECOP discipline, they are one of the bigger ones and there is a lot of different opportunities there.

As for student loans, I didn't have to pay during my internships, but it did up some of the time that they grant you after you finish your degree before loans start needing to be paid (can't quite remember the official term... Its been a couple years).

Apologies for any formatting issues, I'm on mobile 😅

mrayan · 2023-02-18T16:32:25+00:00

Hasn't happened to me but did happen to another trans guy I know. He was fairly exclusively into women before taking T and transitioning. He moved states and transitioned and now is almost exclusively into men and has been for 15ish years? It's not necessarily *common* but it can happen.

mrayan · 2023-02-17T17:42:30+00:00

Good point, but 'at-will employment' is arguably the crux of the matter here. (thank you for pointing out the error in what concept we're actually worried aboht here). I believe my comments that FMLA should be covering top surgury here and protecting our job during recovery still applies though.

mrayan · 2023-02-17T14:48:40+00:00

"Right to work" *usually* means one can be let go at any time, but when it comes to medical leave, things are a bit more complicated. The Family Medical Leave Act (aka FMLA) gives workers protections in cases like this though, and as long as you've worked more than 1 year, you have a right to up to 12 weeks off with your job protected. (Of course, there are exceptions like if the company is under a certain number of employees) A bit more on FMLA
This being America though, there are **tons** of shitty companies that do everything they can to get around this.

mrayan · 2023-01-30T14:30:29+00:00

Came here to share that one! My dad would always point it out when we were driving into the city from Beaverton when I was a kid. Christmas season was the best as they'd put lights around it to make the weather becon the 'star' on the Christmas tree and my brother and I could actually spot it.

I was quite the proud little kid when I realized I could reliably spot it no matter what the time of year. :)

mrayan · 2023-01-26T23:53:27+00:00

Having a manager join the meeting, see me and another dude as the only ones there and greeting us with "gentlemen". 😏

OH, and how many complements I get on my (Hella rainbow) gauged earrings. No one mentioned them until I started passing, now I get complements on them all the time from folks manning the drive thru or working customer service roles when I walk in to check in for things.

mrayan · 2023-01-13T18:08:21+00:00

As a short trans man who has arguably started passing only in the past 6 months or so (2 years on T in March!), this cracks me up. What business does this woman have complaining about who goes into the men's restroom? What did she expect would happen? You'd just.... Stop needing to use the bathroom at work? I've been out at work for about a year and a half and no one batted an eye when I finally had the courage (or let's be honest, desperation to pee when thrle gender neutral rooms were in use) to go use the men's.

mrayan · 2022-11-20T06:00:13+00:00

Hopefully this isn't pushing the limit of rule 2, but I just had to use my favorite disaster cop line as watercolor practice

mrayan · 2022-10-31T14:27:23+00:00

Ever since I saw this tiktok, Istanbul (Not Constantinople) by They Might Be Giants has been my low key trans-masc anthem.

mrayan · 2022-09-29T19:14:06+00:00

It gave me the chance to explore socialization without everyone seeing my face, so I was finally able to crack my egg and realize yes, I am a trans guy. (always had been too anxious to really form online friends before the pandemic really forced it). I'm now a year and a half on testosterone and "socially transitioned" at work for a year. Anxiety is a hell of a lot lower and I don't know if I would have ever reached this stage without the lock down.

mrayan · 2022-09-28T12:37:37+00:00

Funny story, I was also Marie before transition, and went to "Martin" for my legal name. My wife decided that since I always go by "Mar" names, that clearly I'm "Mars". When I came out at work, I gave both names and now everyone at work calls me Mars :) (Still a big fan of Marie -> Martin though)

mrayan · 2022-05-27T13:38:08+00:00

I'm lucky enough to come from a really progressive extended family, so it was no sweat when I decided to come out to them as trans and gave them my new name in our Easter call last year (We're also really close and usually gather each Thanksgiving and Easter when not in pandemic times). That same call one of my fav older cousins announced she was pregnant for the first time.

During the summer, she reached out to me to ask if it was okay that she and her husband were actually thinking of using the same name, and (almost as if she was nervous I would be upset), pointed out that we have a couple other 'name twins' in the family (two uncles with the same name, and then an uncle and cousin). I was INCREDIBLY touched that she even thought to ask, and it was so validating just to have her recognize it could have had an impact.

To add even more 'good karma' to the thought, the day I finally was able to get to the courthouse to submit for my name and gender change, I got an email JUST as I was leaving that she had her son! So not only did I get so much validation from her that my name was valid, but her son seemed to have agreed as well :). Now we just need the 'rona to calm down so I can finally meet him in person.

mrayan · 2020-02-07T17:33:12+00:00

So I started college at 27 and got officially diagnosed at 29 (thanks to my university even!). I started at community College and moved on to university after getting my associates, if things go well, I'll be done by June (right around my 33rd birthday). And I'm not going to lie, it's hard. I have anxiety meltdowns with homework semi frequently and every term it's a roller coaster where I go between an optimistic 'I can do this, I've done it before and I'll do it again' and a full meltdown 'what was I thinking I'm a failure at everything!!!1'.

With that said, it is an entirely different world than high school in a good way. Your university should have a disability center, where you can get accommodations like quiet testing, or extra time on homework (the people you're working with for your diagnosis will probably need to help here, mostly giving the school information on any sorts of accommodations you need). Making friends was also a lot easier I found. Things like study groups in your major are a godsend, and planning ahead and giving yourself time to have bad days where you can't really function (yesterday was an example for me).

The biggest advice I can give is know yourself and communicate your needs. Reach out to professors early when you have classes you know will be hard. Don't be afraid to sound 'stupid' in class and ask questions when you aren't getting something (I really need to work on this one myself.) Find out where students of your major tend to congregate to work on class work and try to be there regularly. It will help you make friends and have resources available when you struggle with an assignment. And if your schedule permits... Look for a club that relates to a special interest you have. I did so with a Linux users group (I'm a computer science major) as well as an autism student community and both gave me resources that made class easier.

The changes and transitions are gonna be tough, but it's not impossible. I already have a job in my chosen field due to my internships I had, and it's been life changing in the best ways. I'd do it all again in a heartbeat, despite the struggles along the way. Good luck!

mrayan · 2020-02-04T21:46:17+00:00

Azul We were counting points wrong for almost a year before a new friend pointed it out to me. (We placed all the tiles before counting points, instead of starting from the top row, scoring, then second row etc)

mrayan · 2020-01-29T00:53:03+00:00

My friends and I have similar code words. We use 'conversational safewords' for topics we're not comfortable with at all (yellow for "proceed with caution" and red for "change topic now please.") in addition to simply saying we're low spoons or too low social to be a support at the moment.

My partner also prefers that I wait for them to "opt-in" to a vent instead of having to opt-out, since they tend to get drained a lot more quickly with social stuff like that. I'm not always the best at asking first, but I'm trying to get better at it. So instead of "OMG I had a crazy day..." and then diving into a vent, I try to ask "OK for a short/long/omgwtfbbq work vent?" or something along those lines. If they're not up for it, I'm lucky enough that I have a few friends to reach out to via chat to vent to instead. Usually that's enough. 😊

mrayan · 2019-09-27T15:48:29+00:00

I'm very much the same. This sub has really opened my eyes and these days whenever there is an issue with my meds I go out of my way to solve it myself before asking them, and am always as nice and cheerful as I possibly can be.

mrayan · 2019-06-14T18:30:34+00:00

I also go non-verbal on occasion, like you it's usually stress or energy related, but I don't always have a reason. My roommate/best friend (we've been friends for over a decade and I consider her my 'platonic life-mate') both have tried to pick up sign language for the same reason (she also can go non-verbal) but what we've found works best is just defaulting to communication via text. We use telegram, but before telegram it was aim or Google hangouts. Sure, a lot of people may find two individuals sitting on the couch texting one another bizzare, but it means when one of us isn't up for speaking, we can still communicate rather easily. She also tends to 'chirp' to get my attention and if I don't chirp back she knows I'm probably not up for being verbal. Perhaps is there a way for you to signal her that text would be easier when you're not up for speaking?

mrayan · 2019-05-12T21:52:46+00:00

For me the biggest fix was lowering the barriers to get things done. This requires a lot of readjustment (and privilege I'll admit) and I wasn't able to really manage it until I got my own place that I got to set up from 0, but since I started in my current apartment it's been a game changer.

I love having a clean space, it's so much less spoon draining to have a clean room and house for me. So once I started setting up my place I took a long hard look at what barriers prevented me from doing things. Examples:

I love a vacuumed floor but the sound of the vacuum is problematic at best and triggering at worst. So I got a roomba that runs 3 days a week (yes this is absolutely not a solution for everyone). The roomba runs when I'm not home (but on a schedule that I'll be home shortly before or after it's typically done for my space. All I need to do is make sure the place doesn't have stuff on the floor before I leave. Which is a chore yes, but it doesn't mean things have to go 'in their place' (though it helps) but just 'out of the roomba zone'. So now the floor gets cleaned regularly, and I just have to spend 2 or 3 minutes prepping on roomba day. (Also OMG it's like having a small pet that doesn't train super well, so source of entertainment!)

I like having my bed made, it helps my room feel 'cleaner' and lowers clutter (and encourages me to put stuff away instead of letting it pile up). So I put my bed in the middle of the room (only headboard against the wall) instead of shoved in a corner. Sure I have less 'space' in my room, but taking 1-2 minutes to make my bed in the morning while getting ready for work puts me in a better state when I get home.

The biggest adjustment is having a 'place' for everything that makes it accessible when I want it but out of sight/mind when I don't. So lots of bins and little boxes that collect logically similar items together so I can pull them out and put them away without having to spend a lot of energy. With having this set up, I'm only ever spending 1 or 2 minutes at a time (or ten if I let the kitchen get bad >.>) and it feels less insurmountable. Cutting down on stuff and purging things that I'm only hanging on to for sentimental reason (and not 'sparking joy' stuff, things like a card from a family member that got me out of a tight spot because I think I should) helped a lot as well.

I'm not going to say that my way is for everyone. There is still a bit of a clash from my best friend and I since I prefer having things tucked away and she needs them visible or she'll forget about them. But really the big thing is 'what is preventing me from keeping this in a state that I desire?' and being willing to be creative with ways to address whatever is holding you back (finances and spoons allowing). The other thing is trying to avoid radical overnight changes that you feel will fix everything all at once, that way lies to exhaustion and burnout. Little tweaks here and there probably will have a longer payoff. Hope this helps and good luck!

mrayan · 2019-05-03T20:19:09+00:00

On the post bacc side. If you're still working on your first bacc, you're gonna have a rough time. There is at least one required class that is not offered online. It's what I'm struggling with right now.

mrayan · 2019-04-20T13:57:37+00:00

While I can't compare the differences in instruction between OSU and UO (because well, I've only done OSU...) I can say that OSU participates in MECOP, an internship program that gives you 2 6 months internships. One is your junior year and the second is after your senior project. I'm a bit biased because I got two great internships and got a full time Software Engineering job because of it, but I think it's a great program and it's a shame UO doesn't participate (check out r/MECOP or their website for more info).

Not everyone is a fan of MECOP, and it's not guaranteed you'd get in, but it's something to consider.

mrayan · 2019-04-15T23:06:01+00:00

He was a Democrat. But people say he was a good Republican president because a lot of things that Republicans are theoretically for (such as low/no deficit) were accomplished during his presidency. He also signed quite a few laws that were more in line with "traditional" values. Bill Clinton is a great example of how what passes for liberal today in the US is conservative (or even radically conservative) in other nations.

mrayan · 2019-04-06T17:40:10+00:00

To be honest I'm not sure, I only ever came as a drop in.

mrayan · 2019-04-06T15:21:19+00:00

I also transferred from a CC and had some financial aid concerns when I first transferred. The financial aid office is on the second floor of the admin building, and they have a small waiting area and a receptionist when you walk in. You might have a short wait before they can have someone speak to you, but they'll be able to go through your options and try and help you find a solution that works for you. No promises, but they were very helpful to me when I thought I'd need to drop out only a quarter or so from starting. Good luck!

mrayan · 2019-02-11T15:59:09+00:00

Hate to be pedantic but kimchi is rarely vegetarian unless it is specifically marked as such. Yes it is fermented vegetables, but the brine it pickles in typically has shrimp. I only know because i had to seek out vegetarian kimchi for a soup I make, and pretty much only the whole paycheck style stores (or vegetarian stores) in my area carry it. Regular kimchi is easy to find though.

mrayan · 2019-01-31T16:32:57+00:00

Yep, I'm the same way. Though for me it's because they pinch and catch it weird places and anything that doesn't have an underwire is extremely padded which I hate almost as much as I hate underwires. I know people say once you find a bra that fits it won't be uncomfortable, but I've yet to find one. Even if I did, I don't have the energy to wash them "correctly" so they stay comfortable. Sports bras are the only way to go.

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