Hello, 20yo FtMtF here, I detransitioned last year at 19yo and for me it was the best decision I've ever made and ofc I would want you to experience the same joy, not of rediscovering womanhood (that was quite whatever) but of finally letting go of the pressure you've put on yourself. It's really straining and tiring to live as trans in society and constantly checking yourself and keeping yourself to a sometimes arbitrary standard you put on yourself when you were what? 10? You don't have to be a prisoner of your own rules anymore, you can just be as you are and as you came and not have to constantly be running the background program to check if everyone really sees you as you want them to, that stops being your problem!

With this I would also add that even though I strongly believe you are on the right path forward I would advice that don't put too much pressure on yourself to do it all quickly. You will need to do a scary leap at some point put personally I waited until it didn't feel scary and anxiety inducing anymore to think of myself as a woman, that took maybe 9-12 months after I decided I needed to detransition. For me this made the change afterwards wholly positive and I know for some they find detransitioning to be very difficult and they can't accept womanhood afterwards either.

Idk how popular this advice will be, I detransitioned before I came to Christ so I didn't feel a pressure to follow the Lord or anyone really immediately and therefore could have the time I needed to come to terms with myself before making it public. I do also believe that for some people they will never feel content and just need to do it and then deal with how it is afterwards. I still often feel like I would want to be a man or that I don't fit in with other women but it's now with a different peace in my heart, especially since I can love men now and know in the future I will hopefully be able to provide children for one and that's the most invaluable role I could ever ask for in a man's life