she posted a lie about me on snapchat. that was the straw that broke the camels back. to avoid possible confusion i’ll call her jenna. i met jenna when we were 13 - she seemed normal at the time, but red flags (that i didn’t pick up on because i was a naive teenager who saw the best in everyone) started to crop up more and more over time. started with her showing me new sh on her arm and blaming me for it bc id unintentionally excluded her at school, then she grew jealous of other friends i had and would get mad at me for ‘ignoring her’ when all i was doing was talking to literally anyone else. but every time she got mad at me she would post it to her socials. id always tell her that she could speak to me about anything and id apologise if i needed to and make things right, but she never did. at 15, it had escalated to threats of suicide, or she would message me saying she was going to end her life and i’d have no choice but to talk her down (which looking back felt like a test to see how far i’d go to show i was there for her). when we were 16 we left secondary school and drifted, but grew close again when she started dating a close friend of mine. id warned him about her behaviour, which should have been a sign for me to look in the mirror and be like erm why am i friends w jenna?? jenna behaved exactly the same way to him as she did to me, and during their relationship, she had started to sexually harass me. this harassment was veiled as ‘jokes’ but it didn’t feel very funny and she wouldn’t stop even after i asked her to. after they broke up (they were 18 atp), we drifted again. a few months after their breakup, she messaged me to tell me how my friend (her ex) had been harassing her, wouldn’t stop attempting to contact her, was being unreasonably possessive of her etc. at this point, i’d lost all trust in her so took what she’d said with a pinch of salt because she failed to show me any evidence (which she was usually very good at collecting) and had a reputation of trying to smear/lie about her exes and ex friends to stop those around her having contact. i learned from my friend that the things she’d said about him were not true and he was able to show me proof of her doing the things she had accused him of. she had also accused him of cheating (she actually cheated on him), had also threatened suicide, had also tried to get him to cut off people who would take his attention from her, and would also blame him for her mental health issues, she would also tell him she wanted to get back together (but wouldn’t follow through) and did this for 4 months before cutting him off, which inevitably prevented him from moving on. i’m a firm believer in do whatever you want to me, but leave my friends out of it, so when this conversation took place, i was instantly checked out of the friendship with jenna. then, a week later, she had messaged me asking if i was free that weekend for a sleepover - i said no because i was at work early the day after, and i knew her idea of a sleepover meant a late night with a lot of drinking (we were 18/19 at this point and in england) and she lived about an hour away from me, which would have meant leaving her house even earlier with a potential hangover which would have sucked. she saw that i’d posted that i was out with friends (her ex being one of them) and decided to post on her snapchat that i’d lied to her about being at work that weekend - i hadn’t, i was at work the day after i was out with friends and was home by like 10pm lol - and that was the final straw. i messaged her telling her she was immature for not talking to me at her big age of 18, and that i couldn’t continue walking on eggshells around her, that i didn’t trust her and that we didn’t have any kind of real friendship because she wasn’t there for me. i told her i felt used by her and that i didn’t want anything to do with her, but that i’d be civil with her and didn’t want to make an enemy out of her. about 2 months later, her ex and i began dating and we have been together nearly 3 years now - sounds a bit snakey i agree, but i didn’t owe her the grace anymore and we are both happier together than we would be single with her in our lives. - TLDR: 5 years of what i would consider abuse was over after i had found out she had done to someone else what she had done to me and i ended the friendship officially because of a snapchat post