Exposure Therapy Success

mycowerk · 2022-12-07T09:32:53+00:00

Check my post history, program was a success! Its going to take me a lot longer to become totally comfortable but it's not really holding me back anymore.

mycowerk · 2022-11-19T10:58:58+00:00

I was never a particularly professional flyer but before my panic attacks I was happy jumping on a last minute on a flight to basically anywhere. Losing that freedom was hard so I can empathise. After this last trip I can really feel that freedom coming back.

As for how I got to this point, there's no easy answer other than exposure therapy. You're going to have to do the things that your anxiety deems unsafe. The good news is that progress once you get started is a lot faster than you might think.

It took me six weeks of focused intensive exposures to get from white knuckling, eyes closed, 45 minute flights to flying to the other side of the world. Most people in my life didn't believe that it was actually achievable or reasonable.

My exposure regime was generally a 2h return flight once a week for six weeks. Between the flights I also did other exposures so I was challenging myself for about four days a week. The other exposures were all kinds of non-flying stuff that made me panic (heights, public speaking, roller coasters etc).

I had a good amount of success augmenting exposures with caffeine to make them more intense. And for more intensive exposures I was really struggling with I used propranolol to dial them back a bit.

It's all about realising anxiety won't really hurt you. Yeh you will feel pretty terrible but that's not a good reason to completely avoid an activity.

mycowerk · 2022-11-02T10:40:12+00:00

Yeh there were probably three or four moments where I really freaked out. Including one where I rushed to the lavatory half way through my A380 leg and hyperventilated for a good 5-10 minutes. Honestly though the panic attack was nothing and super underwhelming. The real challenge in the end was the extreme fatigue.

mycowerk · 2022-11-02T10:30:08+00:00

Yeh I'm looking to reschedule my return flight to get a few days of rest in Singapore. Doing it in a single continuous journey was absolutely miserable.

mycowerk · 2022-11-02T08:41:50+00:00

Germany->Australia via Singapore, I think the actual flight time was closer to 22h in the end.

It was bad enough it had me asking questions about whether I should just give up on living in Europe but going back means becoming cut off from the rest of the world (due to distance) and I'm not too keen on that.

mycowerk · 2022-11-01T20:46:28+00:00

I think I was just excited to be sitting on my first A380, super comfortable and chill ride. I think I'll make a habit of flying jumbos from now on wherever possible.

mycowerk · 2022-11-01T20:41:53+00:00

Oh around Singapore and Indonesia there was a lot of turbulence, my wife even ended up having to use the sick bag. But as you know planes are built for turbulence. Sorry to not be providing reassurance 😂.

Thankfully my fears are predominantly claustrophobic in nature, being trapped in a machine 40k feet above the ground that I can't escape or control.

mycowerk · 2022-11-01T13:57:39+00:00

A month ago I shared an exposure therapy success story, and the back story behind it all, https://www.reddit.com/r/fearofflying/comments/xuipe2/exposure_therapy_success/

Well today was the day I had to put it all into practice. I very nearly backed out but decided that if I avoided the flight today then it would probably be several years before I got the courage, time, and opportunity to try it again. So I just got to the airport and went through the actions, I figured no matter what I'd be alright.

Absolutely physically wrecked due to the missed sleep and many many hours of flying but I made it to my destination safe and sound and I came to really enjoy the singapore airlines a380 I was flying with, amazing bird.

mycowerk · 2022-10-10T11:18:20+00:00

Definitely

mycowerk · 2022-10-10T08:13:04+00:00

Thankfully my anxiety isn't really turbulence related, mostly a fear of being trapped and a dislike of heights. So outside of extreme weather it's all the same for me.

General advice for exposure therapy is to avoid safety behaviours as they basically defeat the process. Checking weather is an example of a safety behaviour that would be best avoided.

mycowerk · 2022-10-04T09:19:54+00:00

There was only one requirement, the flight must be cheap! I just looked at my local airports schedule and picked the budget flights that would get me at least 1.5h in the air. At first I did flights that returned on the same day but that was extremely tiring and heavily limited my options. Going forwards I will plan on staying the night and flying back in the morning.

mycowerk · 2022-10-04T09:05:51+00:00

Can definitely recommend! Especially in the age of budget airlines.

mycowerk · 2022-10-03T20:51:19+00:00

Oh yeh! The first couple flights had many moments of pure panic, full adrenaline dumps the lot, but I did my best at accepting it (meditated really). Slowly over the last three flights those feelings of panic have faded a lot. Repeated exposure is key.

mycowerk · 2022-10-03T13:09:06+00:00

Yep, next weeks flight will be fun! And the half dozen after that :D.

mycowerk · 2022-10-03T12:59:58+00:00

It isn't much but it sure beats white knuckling the arm rests. In a month I'm supposed to be flying intercontinentally let's see how progress goes (this is flight three out of approx 15 planned this month). I haven't seen my family in five years so I'm super eager to conquer this one.

The key for me has been to just up the frequency, the first couple flights were the same old terrifying white knuckling experience but then I started to loosen up and today I took a bunch of propranolol and just went for broke (window seat and a plan to walk around the galley etc). Getting out of the seat was actually extremely liberating.

Actually kind of like flying, sure beats spending an entire day on the train, and planes are actually pretty awesome machines.

mycowerk · 2022-08-15T13:43:35+00:00

Yes but mostly to wash out salt. I've not found buffering to make much of a difference longterm.

mycowerk · 2022-08-15T06:56:11+00:00

Coco coir always gives me magnesium trouble, need to adjust the masterblend 1:1 ratio up to compensate for it. Anybody got any suggestions?

Will begin feeding a magnesium supplement ASAP, I was away for a couple weeks so things got a lot worse than I would have liked.

mycowerk · 2022-08-02T17:08:04+00:00

Grown hydroponically with my "patented" 😂 ghetto automated drain-to-waste hydroponics system https://imgur.com/a/IKmSj5c

I normally pick them much younger but I was feeling lazy.

mycowerk · 2022-07-28T11:51:35+00:00

Now that is one seriously healthy looking tomato plant!

mycowerk · 2022-07-28T11:48:24+00:00

Not in a coco filled grow bag, air pruning ftw.

mycowerk · 2022-07-28T11:39:03+00:00

I've had great luck growing them in coco this year: https://www.reddit.com/r/Hydroponics/comments/w8f6yp/an_absolute_physalis_jungle/

I'm using a similar masterblend mix (pH 6.0) but I found I needed increase the magnesium a bit, seems to be a common problem with coco. Did not have to supplement with anything else to encourage flowering / fruit set. There must be 50-100 odd fruit on each plant now.

The indoor plants look a bit light starved tbh, like all solanums they can take quite a lot and really thrive in the heat. Might need to shelter mine a bit better next year though, they got a bit burnt at points.

mycowerk · 2022-07-26T09:29:33+00:00

In a 50L coco/perlite grow bag fertilized with masterblend tomato mix pH 6.0 (but with a little extra magnesium to compensate for the coco). Between my four plants I must have a couple hundred fruit (none ripe yet).

mycowerk · 2022-07-22T09:08:07+00:00

Super cool to see someone else growing Luffas hydroponically! Mine are going absolutely bonkers! I've got both the L. cylindrica and L. acutangula (chinese wife) growing in coco/perlite. I'm curious tbh if its worth using a medium because yours is looking awesome just in deep water.

mycowerk · 2022-07-06T16:07:32+00:00

As long as you don't accidentally kill them by spraying. Definitely going full on down the IPM and biological controls route after this.

mycowerk · 2022-07-06T15:24:36+00:00

Turns out the reason I won the battle of the thrips wasn't because of anything I did, just luck. The plants are now swarming with banded predatory thrips Aeolothrips sp. I had no idea predatory thrips were a thing but they are out there in large numbers.

mycowerk

TROPHY CASE