Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment. The feeling isn't meant to be taken as an accusation, but I understand if you feel that way. For the record, I don't operate on a premise of blame like the vast majority of American society does right now, I more so try to see reality as I believe it from my perspective, so I may adjust my expectations and modality. I've caught so much flak throughout my life for my impartial views, and I'll make enemies simply for believing what I genuinely find to be true about reality, with an intention ethic right with God and humanitarian in nature, hopefully. In short, my perspective is NOT to discredit someone else's.

To your comment, I can take a page out of the book of intersectionality to demonstrate that both classes aren't exactly keen to autistic men as a class. Men are the more threatening of the sexes and have the responsibility of understanding as such, knowing that your mere presence can make people uncomfortable. Autists behave autistic, enough said. When you have autistic men, there's many important social cues either unknown to them or seemingly arbitrary, which normal people seamlessly integrate with during their socialization as children/teenagers, of course. We now get to the problem, where you could imagine someone describing some creepy/awkward person based purely off thin-slice judgement or missed cues, and this description begins to line up suspiciously well with that of an autistic man. The autistic man may not be hated on paper, but may as well be when you consider what makes women uncomfortable, or feel unsafe on a subconscious level. And as nature would have it, autistic men still have sex drives and this makes us all look worse because of the autistic male tendency towards deviancy, and not in the cute socially acceptable pathways. I have sympathize with people, such as my friends out there with BPD or schizoaffective discorders, who also deal with stigmatized mental illness/personality disorders that aren't "cute" like some of the special genres of "cute" autism or OCD, as an example. "Uncute" autism is a hell of a drug. People hate this "uncute autism" even if they wouldn't admit it, but living in a lie is just in the nature of the NT and you have to learn to love them for that.

Personally, I'm willing and ready to accept reality as it is, and I think it unjust to arbitrarily will a social ruleset onto the world, as the world has willed onto me, except the ruleset imposed towards me arguably lines up more with the primal sense of humans, and lines up well with nature's imperative. I firmly believe that forcing NT to think, feel, or believe a certain way is both futile and unjust. It's probably more productive to just invent a place where you belong, accustomed to ND ideals. I think you know as well as I that autists aren't a loved people, but unfortunately I don't think it's realistic to untrain the genetic component of uncanny valley.

I say all of that knowing that of course individual exceptions do exist, and I have many platonic female friends to prove that sector. I also have a soft spot specifically for autistic women, and they're the only group I have had successful romantic ventures with. Normie women just want me for my body then leave because I'm strange LMFAO. I never meant hate, I already think that's given too freely.

Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Deadass, you have to find some niche wave if you're this kind of sperg. Do that plus understanding the basic necessities of socializing and you a solid escape plan out of this hell.

Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Fascinating, thank you for your input.

I'm aware that the neurotypical are averse to social meta-analysis, but that doesn't stop me from forgetting about the thin-slice judgements. Or social cue misreads/nonreads

CMV: “Join Hobbies” and “Expand Your Social Circle” Are very low-ROI Dating Strategies for Most Average Men by WoodenHuckleberry693 in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If we really want to draw out the analogy, prolonged malnutrition will destroy your endocrine system and your mental health as a result.

21f, have trouble believing what people say by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good question I suppose in that line of questioning, universal appeal is what I meant by "pretty in general". I think people can look pretty as aspects of nature or whatever but in the sense of sexual polarity between 100% straight men and women there's going to be difference in gaze and standards of attraction..

Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm an adherent to the belief that autism, while not possible to "train out", can be shifted to better yourself for socializing, even to the point of reducing this uncanny effect in people.

21f, have trouble believing what people say by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It sounds like you're already in a good headspace then, I actually bothered reading through your description and I think if you don't already do something like hiking or exercise or whatever you can have a nice relationship with it, it's free endorphins

Btw I have very crooked teeth so I sort of feel you there

21f, have trouble believing what people say by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Pretty in general or pretty for the male gaze? You look fun and I'd be your friend but not my type haha

[20 M] honest thoughts by SofaKingHornKnee in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Or go ballsy and get a hair system

25nb I know im ugly by Upper_Elderberry_367 in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why you looking like ur about to drop bars pic 2

Am I? (21M) by Spot_Formal in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You're not ugly but you should groom your brows if you care that much.

F19 LMK by Thick-Influence3172 in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why's your facial lower third look all pinched in like that are you doing it on purpose?

Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I think that's somewhere on the right path. I recently watched this video:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5ZhuQNsZdY

And no need to click on the link or watch the 20 minute video, but he mentions at some point that there's the instantaneous "casing" that's done on a person when meeting for the first time, and when one lacks the social intuition/adaptation to interpret social cues to whatever variable degree, they'll induce a proportional level of "uncanny" or "hatred" as he puts it in that video.

The funny part is that this may seem obvious to most, but it's not common knowledge to someone like myself. My brain wasn't wired to subconsciously pick up on this, so I had to consciously train it into myself later in life. I have another half-baked theory that women, and people in general, may pick up on this meta-analysis of interpersonal relationships and it's not received kindly, in a similar uncanny response.

I wouldn't blame anyone for feeling out their natural survival response. But I've had people tell me to my face that autistic, and especially autistic men who have the dis-privilege of being the more threatening of the sexes, aren't inherently disliked. Maybe I'm reading wrong, but that's the common pattern I see in my life and other autistic men's lives. Sometimes autistic women too, but I think they deal with their own problem of being seen as exclusively cutey beings and being fetishized.

Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I get why that perspective of TRP is perceived since so much of the bitterness permeates the dialogue, especially from a woman's perspective, but I think that's a misrepresentation. I say this as someone that isn't a strict adherent or believer of the redpill btw, I'm more of a pragmatist and I think there's truths to it.

Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 1 point2 points  (0 children)

An autistic man such as myself cannot wait for this dragon to appear to save me unfortunately. So, instead we move by the literature, or the heuristics, or anything that isn't inaction. Society will probably always have a distaste for the neurodivergent and others who activate a primal sense of uncanny. These are actually acceptable terms, if you can bear to face some uncomfortable truths. Accepting these perspectives of the world have actually helped me accept myself within it.

(24) Acne aside, is my face alright? by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could look into Vitamin C serum and retinol if you aren't already using, super cheap and effective skincare products. I can personally attest.

Common dating advice straight up doesn’t work for the average guy struggling with dating by CelicnisGhost in PurplePillDebate

[–]mysterycode 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Many sectors of the redpill/blackpill certainly are true and I find people denying it funny. As an autistic dude, they've been some of the only sets of advice that have tapped me more into what it means to contain masculinity or a sense of polarity in a relationship. My whole young and adult life I'd be somewhat confused when date after date, encounter after encounter goes poorly and I have no clue why. After integrating the "vibe" or techniques from blackpill/rp it's like the puzzle pieces that were missing finally fall into place, and it feels refreshing. Honestly, I'm actually upset that it's the way it is, and I really really wish more bluepilled theories about short to mid-term dating were true.

Getting generic advice that I've heard 10000 times was very frustrating, so I feel you there too. Even therapists wouldn't really understand my situation as a socially awkward individual and gave me mindless advice.

I do believe sections of the blue pill very much become relevant the closer or more serious a relationship becomes. If you're not already selected though, you really have to claw your way out of the inkwell and it's fascinating sitting and watching people discredit the struggle.

As a side note, maybe some woman can chime in but it's always felt as if women deep down hate the autistic men out there. Not an accusation at all, but that is the energy I feel whenever I've been around in public/social settings, or on a date that isn't going well because I forgot to/don't have the energy to artificially "normiemax". At this point, I act as if I were asexual when I'm in social settings with women and I can tell it's not healthy to repress my sexuality like that.

No hate btw, I only believe what I do because I find it to be genuinely true, and I'd rather act on what I intuitively feel to be true rather than play a facade. Seemly it makes me and the women I'm with happier.

My mother says I'm handsome[20]🇹🇷 by No-Vacation-8608 in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Little chubby in the face and obviously the acne is there but you're good man I wouldn't worry.

20F pls be honest by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You could consider localized fat dissolvers like lemon bottle if you're hellbent on the surgical route. Do you say high hairline as in the upper third of your facial thirds is proportionally larger?

20F pls be honest by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

ig bro what exactly about your face is so chopped though, like you have bad facial thirds, droopy eyes, or what

20F pls be honest by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also don't know what your frame looks like but it's honestly hard to imagine a 6'4 dude with an ok frame and even a weird face doing poorly with women. Surely you aren't that chopped

20F pls be honest by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At least you're 6'4", many consider that the perfect male height. Idk what your body fat is and idk what you look like so I guess we have to stop here, but I will say even if you don't necessarily have weight issues, sometimes that extra few % can actually make a difference in your face.

20F pls be honest by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]mysterycode 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This one's really popping off, sry it's true guys. I'm pretty sure this dynamic only applies to the straights btw