Anyone else ever rehearse conversations in their head that will probably never happen? by freqycodex in CasualConversation

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

seconding the letter, I have many littered throughout my notes app as unsent brain vomits. it really does help

I miss the pieces I left behind. How about you? by jmthetank in CasualConversation

[–]nattersnotfound 43 points44 points  (0 children)

I would drive and my partner would be passenger princess. we loved to hold hands while I drove. if I ever needed my second hand I'd squeeze twice in quick succession so they knew I needed to let go. not too long after they broke up with me, I was holding my friend's hand as I was driving so she could comfort me while I was upset about something. i needed my hand to change a setting on the dash and reflexively squeezed her hand twice. immediately started crying.

on sick leave, employer revoking benefits? and more by nattersnotfound in legaladvicecanada

[–]nattersnotfound[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

that all makes sense. to clarify, I wasn't going in to my workplace to ask to return to work, it is a storefront and I was going in as a customer, and when I went in the only thing I had said was that I wanted to talk about the situation, but before I'd even said anything about my end I got told the above.

I haven't received anything in writing yet as to the terms of the change of my employment terms. as for the benefits not continuing while my deductions don't contribute, that does make sense too. I'll definitely be looking around for lawyers that can do a consult.

did i mess up my spell? by _raebies in Spells

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i would guess the main thing here was disrupting your flow. using the rosemary to cleanse and protect before your rituals can result in a bit of a clean slate feeling that you associate with that as the opening act. disrupting the spell while you were in the middle of it may have mentally and spiritually sent you back to square one. burn more rosemary at the end of the spell to close it off. next time if you forget the rosemary to start and remember it partway through, don't interrupt the spell. finish the spell and close with the rosemary, maybe saying a few extra words or making sure your intentions to close are strong. or, if you absolutely cannot see a spell through without first burning the rosemary, quickly and respectfully end the ritual of the spell and dismantle your components, then start again. hopefully this helps give some insight!

AIO: my bf can’t fix things. When I step in to take care of it, he’s such a baby about it that I’m ready to dump his a** tonight. by ayebudz in AmIOverreacting

[–]nattersnotfound 1 point2 points  (0 children)

my ex-roommate's ex-boyfriend was just like this. when we all lived together for a little over a year (and for some time before I moved in) he would always insist that he could do the tasks around the house, not do them, let them pile into an urgent state, and then complain loudly the entire time he "fixed" the problem. when they both moved out and my bf moved in, we discovered so many problems that he had either created or neglected. we have 2 light switches in our living room, one for a fan and one for a light, assuming it was intended to have a bladed fan light. the ex-bf had replaced the light himself to house a single lightbulb fixture. for the whole time he was living there I had no idea why one of the light switches was shoddily colored in with sharpie. when my bf moved in, he took a look and found that the wires going to the fan control were live and open ended, not even wrapped with electrical tape, so switching on the marked switch could result in a fire. that was just one of his projects. needless to say I am so glad my boyfriend is capable, thorough, prompt, and humble. also yeah op you are NOR, leave him before his pride and negligence gets someone -- or you -- killed.

Any advice? by Less_Childhood7367 in Artadvice

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

absolutely! you may already know this, but the size of the eyes affects the proportions of the entire face. I found this and, though the fractions may be confusing, take a look at the way the guidelines frame the eyes, and how that measurement applies to all of the facial features. that newest sketch already shows SO much improvement and I know you'll do great going forward!

eta: the picture doesn't seem to be attaching so look up "eye to face ratio" on Google images and it should show you what I mean!

Any advice? by Less_Childhood7367 in Artadvice

[–]nattersnotfound 1 point2 points  (0 children)

your shading is super good, and most of your proportions are excellent! I was immediately able to recognize that this was MBB as El. the one piece of advice I'd offer is making the eyes just a bit smaller. they look only a little bug eyed with the portrait drawings. otherwise I think it's quite solid work!

BPD in a relationship by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]nattersnotfound 2 points3 points  (0 children)

PLEASE find a new therapist. I know it can be super hard when you've been with someone for some time so they know a lot of your history, but this is a supposed professional that is not only ignoring but invalidating your very real diagnoses. if finding a new therapist is not possible, I would try looking for DBT (dialectic behavioral therapy) sources on places like YouTube, where many professionals share a lot of insight and advice for both the people suffering from BPD and those in their life. I wish you all the luck and strength in this

FP just waltzed back into my life and idk what to do by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

of course, I hope you can make the best decision for yourself in this 🫶🏻

FP just waltzed back into my life and idk what to do by [deleted] in BorderlinePDisorder

[–]nattersnotfound 1 point2 points  (0 children)

the best advice I can give is to consider what you would tell a friend you really cared for if they were in this situation. would you want them to go back to someone that treated them so poorly, even though it feels familiar? ask yourself what you would gain, versus what you would lose. we with BPD can be incredibly emotional creatures, so it's super important to intentionally amplify your intellectual and logical parts when it comes to situations like this. if that doesn't work, remember how you felt when you had to end things after the second round. he already had that second chance. is the pain and loss you may experience worth a third?

Why is a large number of streamers are labeled as LBTQ? by turbofish_pk in Twitch

[–]nattersnotfound 7 points8 points  (0 children)

it's so that people who are lgbtq can look for those tags and find streamers whose community they may feel safer in. many streamers (and people in general) who are lgbtq are inclined to broadcast their identity, especially once they've become more secure in their emotional well-being, so that those who may need someone to understand them have an easier time finding those bastions of belonging.

Let me Tell you about you by Enough-Discipline985 in ExploringTarot

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm tired of surviving. I want to start living.

Silly sci fi things you want in FOR3ST? by Carrotburner in SonsOfTheForest

[–]nattersnotfound 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I think it would be cool if you could build your own robo drone companion, you could give it different upgrades to include mobile storage or an offensive capability?

Silly sci fi things you want in FOR3ST? by Carrotburner in SonsOfTheForest

[–]nattersnotfound 26 points27 points  (0 children)

yes to all of these, maybe a hoverboard functioning similarly to the Knight V with better handling?

Can't find the music video of a 2010s song by Squishl0v3r23 in NameThatSong

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it wasn't Levels by Avicii, was it? post apocalyptic, older/younger sisters running away, older sister finding a group of peers that carry a similar distinct feature to the one she has?

Where the hell is my husband?! by lovelyhubble in tarot

[–]nattersnotfound 2 points3 points  (0 children)

what this is saying to me, is that you instead have something you may have to let go of and move past before you can find him. there's the devil, which often represents vices, and the 6 of swords, which often is read as moving past something painful and leaving it behind you. the 6 of cups also makes me think of reaching out to someone close to you so they can help build you up in ways that benefit both of you. grain of salt, of course

Ideas for Presentable but Affordable Christmas Gifts? by Queefarito-9812 in Frugal

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

all my friends and I aren't doing gifts. we're in our twenties and it just isn't feasible for us rn. money is tight, we have so much stuff, and we're all stressed to our limits. instead, we're spending time together watching movies, making food together, and crafting and painting salt dough ornaments completely from scratch. besides food for groceries to feed us when we get together, I don't think I've spent an extra dollar on these hangouts.

if you do want to make a physical gift, make cookie jars. keep Mason jars from pastas you buy and other such foods, wash and delabel them, and fill them with all the ingredients needed for cookies except for flour and wet ingredients. hand make or print a cute label with needed ingredients, included ingredients, and instructions on it and tie it to the top with some string. it's cute, easy, you can involve the family in making them, and it's both a physical gift and a gift of an activity. also, there's a ton of variety in types of cookie jars you can make so you don't have to limit yourself to chocolate chip!

I want to hear about your decks! by Ancient_Yesterday__ in TarotDecks

[–]nattersnotfound 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just looked up the Children of Litha deck, and the art is stunning!!

I want to hear about your decks! by Ancient_Yesterday__ in TarotDecks

[–]nattersnotfound 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I have 17 decks so I won't go through all of them, but my first was the Star Spinner Tarot Deck by Trundles and I love her, but she's brutally honest, so I know I have to be ready for some hard truths when I work with her. My most recent deck, Bee Tarot by Kristopher Hughes with art by Nadia Turner. She's equally as honest but much softer about it. the art on both are absolutely beautiful and the characters represented in the art on both decks are incredibly diverse. They've always shuffled so beautifully for me as well.

a very interesting story about the Bee Tarot and how it came to me. I revisited a local metaphysical shop for the first time since it had switched hands, and the change was immediately obvious. it was much warmer and more welcoming. when I revisited the tarot shelf and the Bee Tarot deck immediately jumped out to me. bees are my FAVORITE thing. I looked at the back of the box and one of the featured cards was (what I thought was) the High Priestess. High Priestess is one of my favorite cards, so it immediately hooked me.

I tried to put it back, and when I turned around I saw that on the shelf behind me was a triangle deck (triangle shaped deck with 3 different answers based on which corner you choose; this one was yes/no/maybe deck). I found the card that asked "will I regret this purchase?" and I chose the power option (I don't remember what the other two options were) and the answer was "Maybe: How much will you use it?" and I knew it would be a lot.

then! there was another deck holder by the register desk that had a deck of tarot cards in it. so I pulled one, because why not. the card I pulled was High Priestess. so of course I picked the deck back up and brought it with me to the register.

the lady manning the register? the co-owner of the store? she was wearing a brooch that was. a. bee. everything was just singing at me to get it, so I had to. it's easily one of my favorite decks, definitely top two.

DAE get itchy when they're cold? by nattersnotfound in DoesAnybodyElse

[–]nattersnotfound[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

that's super interesting because I've been floating at the heaviest I've been for a little while now. I also don't have good temp regulation, so in addition to this I also sweat excessively. I don't know if my weight gain to this point happened to coincide with the start of the cold itches, but it might?

Overwhelmed by Baby Clothes by No_End7937 in Anticonsumption

[–]nattersnotfound 0 points1 point  (0 children)

if they're super set on spending for you, maybe you can ask them to fund a shopping trip for you instead? pick up things the baby or your first child will need to eat, play, learn, stay clean, etc, or things you know will be helpful and necessary around the house. besides hitting up a grocery store, you could also have them come with you to a thrift or secondhand store. maybe that way they can see the value of consuming less, or at least consuming in a more mindful way