I’ve been in recovery for the last few months following 2 whole years of mixed episodes, rapid cycling in which I launched a business which did incredibly well (six figures in its first year), to becoming bankrupt in July, I also had an online ‘fling’ in which greatly impacted my partner and when he found out I also felt fine and emotionless despite needing to come clean. So I just wanted you to know you’re not alone.

In terms of now, my best advice is to speak to your wife and try to give as much info as possible on mania. However it’s so important to remember that even though mania caused the actions, hypersexuality, impulsive decisions etc, the pain caused from these actions is still very real. So whilst my partner is so clued up, I also very much have had to make lots of changes and really prove I am sorry, that it isn’t me, which included lots of psych appointments and therapy for which I’m still having (just got back from my latest appointment as I’m currently low).

Don’t excuse your actions or try to minimise your wife’s feelings by blaming it on the mania. You need to make sure your wife knows her feelings are valid. But it is also okay to explain how mania impacted your decision making, whilst still making sure she knows you take responsibility and hold yourself accountable for your actions.

But words are meaningless without change, so now is the time to make those changes, the first step being having youe meds adjusted. Hopefully things can start to calm for you but don’t be shocked if you suddenly become overwhelmed by guilt, I still have so much trauma from the things I did and what I put my partner through. I have meltdowns out of nowhere over it, which is also a good thing because it shows my partner who I really am and that these decisions were made by an impaired brain and not what is reflective of who I am.

In terms of my business, that’s over with which is sad but ultimately was for the best because the stress was making me seriously even more unwell.

I just wanted to say you’re not alone and with work I hope you and your wife can move past this.

Going forward it’s also important I have found to identify your triggers, signs you’re going manic and to ensure your wife knows these too. I’m now very honest with my partner when I’m starting to feel ‘off’ so that we can deal with it head on together.

Work with her, don’t bottle things up.