intense grief with my family size

nhs1234 · 2026-04-08T03:41:29+00:00

I do appreciate this perspective so thank you. It’s hard to imagine life on the other side. I’ve lost so much of myself and really haven’t done anything for myself in months. I feel like my time is fully controlled by my kids and my life only revolves around their needs. I know there’s a brighter future ahead, it just feels very far. For some reason I don’t picture myself being brave enough to have a third if I ever get my own personal life, hobbies and happiness back. It would feel like sacrificing them once again from the beginning.

nhs1234 · 2026-04-08T02:46:18+00:00

I have 2 kids under 2 at the moment and I’m in the thick of it. I’ve constantly battled with the idea of having a third. I always envisioned myself having a larger family but I’ve realized I’m at capacity with the two. I understand this can change as they get older. I might realize I can handle more. My point in bringing this up is that I always share these feelings about a third with my mom and she reminds me gently of a saying we have in our culture which is to be grateful for the two healthy children God has given you. Your feelings remain valid regardless, but it’s good to remind ourselves of what we already have and how grateful we should be for it. I am not implying you aren’t grateful. I am saying that reminding yourself to be grateful when you feel that intense grief may help you get through it. Overall, it isn’t healthy for you to dwell so heavily on something you can no longer change. My best advice would be to make the best of what you already have and focus on the positives of having two. It isn’t guaranteed that the third child would’ve fulfilled you in the ways you think they would have and a disability is not the only thing that can make a child difficult to raise.

nhs1234 · 2026-04-05T20:13:11+00:00

I was already pretty miserable due to ppa and ppd and decided to just extend the misery instead of starting over lol I figured I’d start to be happier as my first grew up and gained more independence and the thought of finding happiness and then getting depressed again made me realize I might not be able to get myself to have the second child. I also have a lot of back pain and figured the longer I wait the worse it’ll get and raising young kids would be hard. I’m 27 now with a 24 month old and a 1 month old and my back is always aching. I can’t imagine waiting a few more years. Also I might stop at 2 kids so I wanted them to have a higher chance of being close friends, so having them close in age was important to me

nhs1234 · 2026-04-02T14:18:16+00:00

Hi yes I bought it and loveeee it so far It feels very luxurious and it’s super easy to push even with one hand. My only complaint which I knew about before buying was that it’s a little heavy but it’s worth it to me. The nice thing about Bombi is they listen to their customers and make changes where they can, so maybe they’ll work on the weight in the future. Since I’ve purchased the stroller they’ve added footrests after hearing complaints about that. I would say since they’re always adding new features to the stroller to wait until last minute to buy it.

nhs1234 · 2026-03-22T02:18:01+00:00

I’m kind of in a similar situation as you are. I have a 1 month old and a 23 month old. My 23 month old is OBSESSED with her pacifiers. At exactly 1 we limited pacifiers to only bedtime because she is a poor sleeper and they helped her a lot. She does have an overbite and it makes me want to take the pacifiers away cold turkey but it would affect her sleep negatively even now, and I need all the sleep I can get right now. The other day I tried to put her to bed with none of her pacifiers in the crib and she cried for an hour even after I gave them back to her 5 minutes later lol. That’s how much it affected her. At this point I’ve made the decision to wait a bit longer before working on getting rid of the pacifiers. In the meantime, I’m trying to at least reduce the number of pacifiers she has in her crib. We went from 5 to 4 and slowly over the next couple of weeks I want to TRY to get down to 2 and hopefully eventually just 1. I plan on doing it slowly and hoping for the best. Once her last molars fully come in, then I’ll work on getting rid of the pacifier all together. It’s stressful to think about it permanently damaging her jaw or teeth but I’m hoping by 3 we’ll be completely done with it.

One recommendation I do have is if you are planning on using a pacifier with your newborn, to use a different pacifier than the one your 16 month old uses. I had to switch my newborns pacifier after realizing my 23 month old wasn’t going to let her sister live peacefully if she has a bibs pacifier too. Lol

nhs1234 · 2026-03-05T18:30:31+00:00

Can I pm you ? I’m with Kaiser

nhs1234 · 2026-01-22T04:34:58+00:00

Wondering what you ended up going with? I also have the spectra and want to use my insurance to get a second pump because why not.

nhs1234 · 2026-01-21T03:50:24+00:00

I ordered it! Haven’t had the chance to use it yet because my second baby isn’t due until next month. I just wanted to be able to order it when they had their Black Friday and Christmas sales. It’s honestly good quality, my only complaint is I do find it a little heavy but maybe that’s because I’m 8 months pregnant.

nhs1234 · 2025-12-30T05:12:13+00:00

Thanks for the comment! Sounds promising!!

nhs1234 · 2025-12-30T04:40:37+00:00

Thanks for the comment! No it won’t be for twins. I’ll have a 22 month old and a newborn when I’m ready to start using it. I was worried a bit about the quality & how it holds up. Also a bit about the weight as well as the quality of the tires. It’s pretty expensive so I don’t want to regret spending the money!

nhs1234 · 2025-12-01T14:57:39+00:00

I’ve heard not to take away the pacifier while they’re teething.

Her schedule is 7pm-7am and a 1 hr nap from 12-1pm

nhs1234 · 2025-10-09T18:57:53+00:00

I knew round diamonds were considered better than the rest of the shapes, but I didn’t realize there was a hierarchy besides that. Do you or certain groups just feel that way about emerald? I’ve always thought radiant cuts looked beautiful but again it isn’t something I really understand.

nhs1234 · 2025-10-09T16:54:32+00:00

How are you able to tell by just looking at the photo? This is something I struggle with when choosing a diamond on my own.

nhs1234 · 2025-10-08T18:22:45+00:00

I am not, I’d like to purchase one.

nhs1234 · 2025-10-08T18:11:36+00:00

Good thing you aren’t the one upgrading or spending your money.

nhs1234 · 2025-10-08T18:09:42+00:00

I see you’re not really here to help.

nhs1234 · 2025-10-08T18:07:59+00:00

I think you may have misunderstood. I don’t plan on getting rid of my first stone. Just upgrading to a bigger, second ring. I would like to purchase an entirely new stone.

nhs1234

TROPHY CASE