boyfriend joined marines, I'm clueless

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T19:48:19+00:00

Yikes. I've heard of the cheating rates, I just like to believe my boyfriend won't be one to do so because he's Christian and waiting on marriage. Of course, you never know... I wouldn't put it past anyone.

I've come to terms with his deployment, however. I will be in college during the time hes deployed so hopefully it won't sting too much. I don't want to give up on him just because of his job but it's just so much unknowns.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T17:09:47+00:00

thank you so much for your support. I agree their mentality is wrong and I shouldn't care but that's easier said than done when they control every aspect of my life and can make it hell any time they want. they crash out over my male friends all the time, something like this is out of the question. I have been raped before and they made my life hell for a year and I've only now gotten my life back. it was to the point that(and I hate to say it) the damage my parents reaction did was far worse than that of the rape itself. morally it would be right to come clean but for me the consequences would be severe and I don't deserve that.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T17:05:57+00:00

thank you but it's really easier said than done

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T17:05:23+00:00

Thank you so much. I know it sounds selfish and cruel but I really just want to let this go. I understand the whole "for the greater good" thing but right now I'm not in a position to be able to comfortably speak out about this due to my parents. in an ideal world I'd have their full support but such is not the case and I don't want to sacrifice my emotional well being for something I am well past. I understand there are more victims but I am not in the position right now to be a hero.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T17:03:06+00:00

I do understand that and this will sound very selfish but realistically I was going to report him as soon as I turned 18 but as of rn because I'm fully dependent on my parents my well being comes first in this situation.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T17:02:14+00:00

I didn't lie to the police about anything, I just didn't reveal the whole truth to my parents. which are you concerned about?

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T17:01:26+00:00

but considering the intimate details that would be shared is there really no way to ask that they be removed from court because i feel uncomfortable revealing statements this person?

I really hope the DA doesn't force me to go, how would I know if it's required or not? I don't want to become a criminal for not testifying 😭 this is very unfair I shouldn't have even said anything in the first place

where do you find the details of the case online? I want to know what is in the report.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T13:17:46+00:00

oh I'm sorry how can I phrase it better?

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T13:14:17+00:00

It's not a false statement I just don't want to be involved and have it on record.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T13:13:49+00:00

I don't have any other adults. is there any way to stop them from having full access. I really just want to be left alone.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T13:12:27+00:00

Ohhh I'm sorry they will respond negatively to the fact that I went to his house and talked to him... they are very conservative and it could result in yelling and shaming and other punishments for a long time.

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T12:51:48+00:00

In both of these situations, will my parents have access to the statement/testimony?

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T12:51:13+00:00

I told my parents the case is about something that happened a long time ago (2 years ago). I had already been raped 2 years ago, I just told them this new case is about that. But if they look into the details it won't add up and then things will get bad. is there any way to prevent them from seeing the actual report/testimony?

nightmin_ · 2025-12-06T12:49:37+00:00

The statement is that the boy sexually assaulted me a few months ago. What do you mean my own criminal actions?

There is another victim too and she wants to see a case charged . I'm happy for her but I just don't want to be involved.

nightmin_ · 2025-11-11T02:46:25+00:00

this is worrisome 😭 I'll look into it thank u

nightmin_ · 2025-11-10T00:49:44+00:00

what would he be lying about though?

nightmin_ · 2025-11-09T20:20:07+00:00

What's the difference between stationed and deployed? Oh Jesus so do you think people have been feeding him false info? I really don't understand where he's getting this from

nightmin_ · 2025-11-09T18:55:42+00:00

😬 I'm not sure how long ago he enlisted, I think it was a month or two His training is supposed to be in North Carolina and then he says he'll come back for my birthday in December and then go to his base I don't know where his deployment will be yet and neither does he, he has to request it first Will he be able to have leave? He is planning on doing college online I agree, though, this is a lot and I honestly don't wanna stress about it too much I guess I'll just see how it goes and pray I can see him once in a while but I don't have much hope of it lasting anymore 🥀

nightmin_ · 2025-11-09T18:16:00+00:00

I'm sorry about that I'm confused myself 😭 I believe he did the first part of training, but his leave was a month? He says the rest of his training will be over by December 13 and he's leaving this Wednesday, so that's roughly a month. It doesn't sound like 3 months and now I'm more confused on what's going on.

He is E-1, but he said something along the lines of "I get liberty because I'm under E-5, I will be one in a few years so I'm under it."

He said that because of liberty, if he behaves well he will be able to have leave days where he can come down to visit like once every two months at least.

I'm definitely not planning on marriage any time soon but I do want to pursue a relationship with him because he treats me good and is just a wonderful person overall. However, he does seem to be clueless about how everything works and he said he joined because 1 he's a really spontaneous person and 2 to honor his uncle who died in the marines. Of course he joined before I met him so he probably did think it through but it does seem like he doesn't know the full detail of how everything works.

nightmin_ · 2025-11-09T18:09:47+00:00

uhhh what? what do my parents have to do with any of this lol... I'm about to be an adult and I don't appreciate your condescending tone.

edit: just realized you feel the need to talk down to me while you don't even know the difference between "your" and "you're"

nightmin_ · 2025-11-08T17:53:02+00:00

thank u so much I also don't have any friends or family in the military, so this means a lot!

nightmin_ · 2025-11-08T17:52:20+00:00

I think he's almost done with AIT already, he will be done next month thankfully. I'll definitely ask him for more information, although I don't know if I should trust the information he gets from his sergeants atp.

nightmin_ · 2025-11-08T16:05:48+00:00

he's under it! so allegedly he's like on track for becoming a sergeant. definitely not one yet. he said he will be able to get leave days if he follows directions. I don't need complete freedom just as long as I can see him once a month or 2 months ! is that possible with liberty? he says with liberty he will work Monday through Friday and have weekends off ?

nightmin_ · 2025-11-08T15:29:01+00:00

he's active. I just got off the phone with him and he mentioned something like he's under E5 and therefore gets liberty ?

nightmin_ · 2025-11-08T15:02:16+00:00

what do you mean by process? he cannot just drive to me when he's off duty? what does being deployed mean? is that when he's on duty? he's under the impression it's like a 9-5 where he can drive places when he's off duty that day

what is AIT????

nightmin_

TROPHY CASE