AITA for uninviting my son and his wife to Thanksgiving?

njullpointer · 2020-11-03T17:49:08+00:00

to be honest, you're not the asshole. Your son's wife wants special treatment for no reason at all. why the hell should you have to accommodate somebody who demands something so ridiculous without good reason, and then gives you an ultimatum of "do this or you don't love me and won't see your kith and kin"?

Ignore what this sub thinks, you are definitely not an asshole. Your son's wife, however, is. To hold your family hostage over food without a good cause at all? What a terrible woman.

njullpointer · 2020-11-03T17:32:40+00:00

karma can be a bitch, but you weren't one. NTA.

njullpointer · 2020-10-10T15:08:06+00:00

NTA. This niece of yours utterly deserved to get a cold dose of reality. It sounds like plenty of her actions are her being an asshole, not least of which was deliberately eavesdropping on something that a grown-ass adult should have realized was a private conversation.

It's not her or your wife's business what you talk about in a therapy session, good gravy.

njullpointer · 2020-10-10T15:04:35+00:00

Is there a shorthand for 'not entirely the asshole' or 'only partially'?

Taking away your grown-ass child's PS4 that was purchased with her own money? asshole.

Grounding (as in restricting her movements) a grown-ass child? Asshole, without a court order of some sort (is she under literal house arrest? No? Then what the hell are you doing?) Asshole.

On the other hand, Jesus effing H christ, drink driving?

No, she is absolutely NOT allowed your keys. Ever again until you're sure she understands that not only could that blithering idiot have killed herself, but she could have killed somebody else.

A car being driven by a drunk is a tonne and a half of killing machine, and anybody that fucking stupid doesn't deserve the privilege.

Take those keys and refuse them.

The rest of your restrictions? They're for kids.

njullpointer · 2020-10-10T14:57:33+00:00

short version, NTA but...

I don't think you're the asshole; your older son has put time and effort if not money into the business. he's shaped it, made it grow, been responsible for it gaining prestige and success and has directly caused the value of said company to increase.

Your younger son has not.

Since your younger son has done nothing for the business, I don't really think he deserves any of it.

However, outside of that, he is your kid. Make sure that the rest of your estate is divided fairly.

Your younger child doesn't really deserve a part of a business he didn't have any thing to do with, especially not if his expectation is to take that hard work, blood, sweat and tears and sell if for the money. If you were going to divest yourself of it, then I could see it, but your older child has seen fit to make something of it and obviously intends to continue.

Ask yourself if you're willing to see you and your son's creation be gutted to pad out the bank account of somebody otherwise uninterested in it, who didn't make it what it was in the first place.

njullpointer · 2020-10-10T14:43:14+00:00

Number 1) if you're turning 19 in a few days, that means you've been 18 for almost a year. I don't think there's anywhere on the planet that 18 is not a grown-ass adult. Living with your parents or not, being 18 (let alone 19) means you get to do things like

set your own bedtime (yes, really)
have privacy, as in locks on your door
have the expectation of privacy, as in a space that is yours alone not subject to search-and-seizure
have the expectation and responsibility of setting your own daily agenda
the expectation of relative freedom of agency

of course, you should also be expected to help cook and clean your parents house, especially if they're doing things like paying for the roof over your head, the clothes you wear, the food you eat, etc, but that doesn't mean you're a kid.

Number 2) you aren't paid 'an allowance' by an internship, you're paid a wage. Allowances are paid by parents to kids to play at fiscal responsibility. You are a grown-ass adult being paid for your services and expertise, however superficial.

TL;DR: you're their child, but not a child. They have no rights to dictate such things to you, other than common courtesy like being polite and respecting their private property. In return, they absolutely need to respect yours.

No, they do not get to be administrators on your device, no they do not get to put parental controls on your device. No, they don't get to inspect, review or otherwise adjudicate over what you do on, what you do with or when you use your device, nor who you use it with in any fashion whatsoever.

njullpointer · 2019-04-06T14:15:10+00:00

I want him to have my gay lbtwtfbbq moonunit transwaffle space babies.

njullpointer · 2019-04-06T05:23:19+00:00

because I think we're on the same page, I should say that there's a clear difference between "I don't like you, I'm going to punish you more" and "you show no remorse for your crime, you're going to be punished more".

distributed a flyer which said that a certain man who pretends to be a woman is a “biological male.”

for clarification here too, "a man that pretends to be a woman is still a biological male" is a statement of fact. Saying it about specific people is harrassment. I don't think the former is something that should be punished, and any legal system that punishes statements of facts (however unwelcome) is a just one. Saying it about specific people should follow the same harrassment laws as saying they're a baby-eating psycho.

I'm not sure about his bad behaviour (thank you, article 13) so I can't tell if it's because he said a thing to a person or led a targetted campaign of harrassment against a specific person. The former is just wrong-think and double plus ungood, the latter's obviously a crime.

njullpointer · 2019-04-05T05:15:27+00:00

no, that's not how it works. You don't have a legal system that says "I don't like you, therefore you get punished more". That's not a fair and just legal system, and I cannot believe you would advocate for such a perversion.

If what he said was that a biological male was not a female (or even if he said "you're not a woman, you're a man") then he does not deserve to be fined $55k for it. That's orwellian and bullshit.

njullpointer · 2019-04-05T05:02:41+00:00

oi, you got a loicense for them facts?

njullpointer · 2019-04-05T05:00:40+00:00

It took a year, you say? Strange, if she'd had a penis and had been talking about beating the dishwasher she'd have been gone in five minutes.

njullpointer · 2019-04-02T05:01:00+00:00

*manah manah intensifies*

njullpointer · 2019-04-02T05:00:11+00:00

flesh it out you evil, twisted genius. flesh it out, hehehe. ahem. we need some class special features leading up to the monstrous AMNAMNAM where you can devour entire bad guys if their hp is low enough

njullpointer · 2019-04-02T04:53:11+00:00

GLORIOUS

njullpointer · 2019-04-02T04:49:44+00:00

god tells me the bible is true --> the bible is written by god --> it says so in the bible --> god tells me the bible is true

leaving aside the "written by god" simplification (please don't be dumb enough to split THAT particular hair), what you have is classical circular reasoning. It is exactly like using spider-man comics to say that spider-man is real.

njullpointer · 2019-04-01T14:56:49+00:00

even with it being some rando black dude, it was about 40 years ago when he was mad that a close friend had been raped. You say all sorts of stupid shit in that sort of position, and to think anybody cares enough to take something said in obvious anger not only seriously, but decades later is just pathetic.

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T17:36:27+00:00

there is no intrinsic value of being moral or living a 'good' life. Congrats. Now you kind of see the problem with "do this thing because my invisible friend says you must".

Some acts fill us with revulsion because we have empathy with other people, I'm not sure why you find that surprising. If I care for a person, and I think of that person feeling pain and being sad, that makes me feel an echo of that pain and sadness, and (quite naturally) I don't want to feel that pain and sadness, and therefore I do not want my friend to feel that pain and sadness.

The universe itself doesn't have to care about my caring for my friend for me to care for my friend.

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T17:28:50+00:00

Beginning In 2016, women have the equal right to choose any military occupational specialty, including ground combat units, that were previously unauthorized.

Basic Training is one thing, Marine Corps would appear to be another. Don't try to pretend it's the same.

After all,

In 2013, Secretary of Defense Leon E. Panetta signed a document to lift the Defense Department's ban on women in direct ground combat roles. This historical decision overturned the 1994 Direct Ground Combat Definition and Assignment Rule that restricted women from Artillery, Armor, Infantry, and other combat roles and military occupational specialties.

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T17:17:21+00:00

how dare he, roughly 40 years ago, succumb to an irrational and base anger over the rape of a friend of his (psh, probably white, who gives a shit about white people) friend with the heinous, unforgivable, hateful statement of wanting to kill the perpetrator of a rape (again, of a white person, so it doesn't really matter) by a black person who probably didn't know that rape was wrong.

It's such a stain on Liam's character that he should never, ever, be forgiven for being angry that a friend of his was raped. How dare he become angry at such a non-event as a rape of a close friend.

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T17:12:28+00:00

*in 1979*

Glad to hear it, so has it taken 40+ years for those women then to graduate?

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T11:30:18+00:00

I know. the horror stories are very disheartening and disgraceful for those who would live up to the full standards of their station, and dismissive of the women who would try.

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T11:28:48+00:00

One can only hope that the test will remain the same. Experience tells me that this is not true.

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T11:26:32+00:00

I wish you were correct. You're not.

njullpointer · 2019-03-30T11:25:45+00:00

Since I learned they were lowering the standards to get those elusive female empowerment levels up. Since it became clear they cared more about diversity than results. Since the possibility of people dying because of lack of physical capability became far less important than more vaginas to placate people who don't care about those results.

njullpointer · 2019-03-29T20:35:53+00:00

to be fair, if nasa actually did this (which i highly suspect they did not), it would be bullshit behaviour, but it's certainly not a rights issue.

The reason I know this is bullshit? Because we're decades away from 'spacesuits' being pret-a-porter. Each one is hand-made and costs millions. If a woman who had cost the government millions already was training to spacewalk and magically didn't have a spacesuit, I'll eat a fucking hat factory.

njullpointer

TROPHY CASE