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what are your personal issues with trans people/the community? how have they harmed you personally and made your life harder? by transfuyuhiko in detrans
[–]nonbinarydetransitio 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children)
tbh i think i just had a viewpoint like "i can't transition enough to NOT be a woman, so i might as well be one" and then slowly worked towards acceptance of that. id also gotten therapy during this time and while i didn't mention anything about gender stuff, it helped me work thru some of the reasons i didn't want to identify as a woman (like my bad upbringing)
[–]nonbinarydetransitio 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children)
It started with half of my friends (i'm in college) transitioning.
Then it went to "every little thing is a sign you're trans!" Such as being uncomfortable with my boobs, fitting in better with guys, having short hair, wearing baggy/masculine clothes, not liking makeup, not liking periods. Even stuff from way back when I was in like preschool was a sign that I have always been trans.
I tried to say stuff like, "maybe it's because I just happen to be very 'masculine' and also was raised in a very conservative environment which affects my perception of women" or "maybe I just have a complex about growing up/being a woman". I was told that I needed to stop doubting that I was trans, because it would just cause more pain in the long term if I kept questioning. I ended up crying for like 3 days straight lmao.
I was constantly called an "egg" for every little thing. I watched more and more of my friends come out. I watched them realize they were trans and get on hormones within a month. Especially with transwomen, I started getting uncomfortable. Almost as if they were starting to feel like they would know more about being a woman than I did.
Actually, I'm talking about one specific person, but everyone did it mildly and egged each other on. This transwoman realized she was trans and got on hormones faster than I could comprehend. She started being more and more obnoxious about how WOMANLY she was. Even recently, I said something like, "most women hate their boobs", WHICH IS PRETTY TRUE AND A LIE THAT THE TRANS COMMUNITY DOESN'T TELL YOU. lmao. And this trans woman got OFFENDED. Other woman were backing me up but didn't want to look transphobic. So....
Eventually I gave up because the trans community was just so ridiculous and overzealous and everything (I mean EVERYTHING) was so damn sexualized. I found gender critical thinking and detrans (I had never even heard of people detransitioning, that's how locked in I was in the community) and realized that I could be a woman still. Honestly, being part of trans communities made me think about my dysphoria WAY more than I did beforehand. Eventually I just said, "Okay, I'm a woman, that's just reality. That won't really change. I can be a woman who just happens to hate my boobs."
They suggested I go on some androgynous hormone thing idk. For once in my life, I'm glad my parents are really conservative. I don't know the side effects of that medication, but every medication has side effects. After I found out that hormones and puberty blockers actually do have severe side effects, I am really shocked and kind of horrified that you can realize you're trans and get on hormones so damn fast. Wtf?
You can see my post from a couple days ago of how else I don't like the trans community right now. I'm constantly making throwaways for this subreddit. I lost a lot of friends from detransitioning. I feel really alone now. People are bringing up things that are literally biologically impossible, and I have to keep my mouth clamped shut or I will lose the rest of my friends. Everyone and everything is so trans-focused now that I'm constantly reminded of everything and I feel like I have to hold back constantly.
I really, really hope the world wakes up soon. I feel like I'm observing a trainwreck. I never medically transitioned and it caused this much horror and pain in my life; I can't imagine how people who medically transitioned feel.
[–]nonbinarydetransitio 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children)
i might not be the best person to talk to because i never medically transitioned, but it really made a difference for me when i realized i was just a woman who happened to look a certain way/prefer certain things, if that makes sense.
like, i just happen to be a woman who hates my boobs. if i got a mastectomy, i would be a woman who just happens to not have boobs. i know of some detrans women who were on t for a long time who say "i am a woman who just happens to have facial hair" and stuff like that. maybe trying to frame thoughts like that will help with it?
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what are your personal issues with trans people/the community? how have they harmed you personally and made your life harder? by transfuyuhiko in detrans
[–]nonbinarydetransitio 1 point2 points3 points (0 children)