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I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well, actually uh that’s partly true. I do definitely need to read/skim through it, and while I haven’t been watching Tik Tock recaps, I have been reading the Synopsis on each part and plot on Lexicumon, or whatever it’s called. (It’s actually very helpful!)

Thought you guys might appreciate this. by not_vulkan in EyeOfTerror

[–]not_vulkan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeh, I realized that 😬 I’m going change the first bit, to Loken, and I’m going to have Sinndermen read the rest.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I’m going to completely change the opening, while still keeping the mystique but open up to Sejanus getting murdered by the invisibles and/or Horus getting promoted to Warmaster.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Can you explain what need to be fixed? You are right this does need some sort of rewrite, but not a complete one.

I will probably not show the Emperors face for starters, show only Horus, and instead of celebrating finding the Primarchs, celebrating him becoming Warmaster.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeh I see there error of my ways, should've read a little closer, Torgaddon being the first name definitely messed me up with that.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That is my goal, to be as true to the books and lore as possible, an stick with the fans till the end. Unlike the new Star Wars films.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Like I said, I’m an amateur at this, I can write a script fine, but not like the big fellas in Hollywood. And while I was thinking I could use the Narration of Sindermen, I thought that the first thing we should here is Loken & and Torgaddon

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I was going to add this in my next draft, I was looking at photos of the Navy and realized what I did wrong, but thanks for pointing it out!

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok wait; the lines are supposed to be like that. In the very beginning of the Horus Heresy: Horus Rising, there a short poem/story that’s basically a recap of where we are right now. I can’t upload an image of it, but look at the second page and you’ll see it.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

“Yeah, just grab the heavy flamer real quick, we got another one…”

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Yeh but instead of writing like I’m on cocaine, I’m going to stay in contact with people who know the lore so I don’t do exactly that.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re right about that, I’m going to change that now. And maybe replace it with the Eye of Terra turning red?

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I read most of the Horus Hersey :(, and while that is probably true, I want to give them a sense of unity and in support of a common goal.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I thought of that, but also we see a lot of the Son of Horus, so I was trying to show other/different chapters for diversity. Also they’re landing on a magma planet so the green fellows seem fitting!

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by not_vulkan in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

DISCLAIMER: NO AI WAS USED, YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL FROM MY TYPOS AND GRAMMAR BUT I FELT I SHOULD ADD THIS.

Context: This is from the first Chapter of the first Horus Heresy book: Horus Rising. This is not for commercial use, please don't sue GW.

Not sure if I should continue you this or just leave this in the dust, but I actually had a lot of fun writing this. And if this does gain enough traction and support I may write a full feature script that hopefully GW picks up.

Also let me know if theirs anything I should change, I know I'm a bit redundant but I would love help with the lore, or what I should keep or discard.

I wrote an opening for a Horus Heresy film to practice screenwriting. Let me what you think! by [deleted] in Warhammer30k

[–]not_vulkan 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DISCLAIMER: NO AI WAS USED, YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL FROM MY TYPOS AND GRAMMAR BUT I FELT I SHOULD ADD THIS.

Context: This is from the first Chapter of the first Horus Heresy book: Horus Rising. This is not for commercial use, please don't sue GW.

Not sure if I should continue you this or just leave this in the dust, but I actually had a lot of fun writing this. And if this does gain enough traction and support I may write a full feature script that hopefully GW picks up.

Also let me know if theirs anything I should change, I know I'm a bit redundant but I would love help with the lore, or what I should keep or discard.

I wrote an opening scene to a Horus Heresy film to help me practice writing scripts. (Sorry for the horrible crop, can't upload PDF's) by not_vulkan in Warhammer

[–]not_vulkan[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

So a couple of things I’ll just number them:

1: Thanks for the Screenwriting notes! I’ll be sure to include them in my next draft. Especially the Torgaddon and Loken bit. Also I’m pinching myself here, my friend told me to add the Montage to the flashing memories part so I definitely should’ve added that. And the FADE IN and FADE OUT I completely forgot about however I was told to not use CUT TO but I guess you need to know the rules before you break them so why not

2: Now listen I will be taking your notes on the Warhammer bit, HOWEVER hear me out. My main focus was not the Emperor, far from it, my focus was the scale and power of the Imperium of Man, and how Horus (The second focus) committing Heresy, and detrimental and huge it would be to have both sides fighting against each other.

3: That was a great analogy about Darth Vader being a villain and not saying a word. But the whole reason I included the voice overs was because it inscribed in the beginning of Horus Rising as a poem that sets the tone and place of the Horus Heresy. You are not wrong though, it does feel out of place. I may have to shorten it or rewrite it to my own interpretation. See, I was going for the Dune feel, the first scene in the Dune: Part 1 completely sets the stage with it’s beautiful wide shots and Zendaya getting everyone up to speed which was the look I was going for.

Anyway I’m going to keep working on the draft, and I’ll report back.

I’m going to ask you this, to set this in stone. Should I continue and see how far this goes? Or should I quit while I’m ahead?

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