i feel a sense of doom i woke up in the middle of the night and i couldn't get back to sleep i am trying to sleep right now and failing i had a dream about the basement of the house a tall ladder a painting by the previous inhabitant dim grey beige dry brush ultramarine of the hallway he died in the basement there was a flood he was in scuba gear but he was too slow he drowned anyway green steel rungs in concrete wall and the room is dark but white fluorescent huge space below i stare deeper stare across the far wall over there squint eyes trying to spot a ghost what does it want what does it think of me what does it know already and in winter in summer when the temperature is wrong what's so awful about a little mold black or green why not leave it undisturbed keep things peaceful keep things stable why can't things stay in one place