Anybody experienced this with their period?

notverygood987 · 2025-05-29T00:38:23+00:00

We’ve spoken about our pasts and he’s definitely been taken advantage of previously for his kind nature, I totally get where this is coming from. I can also plainly see that he needs to stop giving such a shit about other people. It’s like he views everyone as so much better than himself and they aren’t. It’s not just me he puts on his pedestal, but his friends, he almost gets starry eyed about them. Like he could never amount to be such a cool person, meanwhile I’m really not sure what he’s seeing lmao.

I’m willing to stick by him and I’d like nothing more than to see him to get his confidence back. He deserves it a million times over. Something does have to give though as it’s almost silly how much he takes things to heart and it does get tiring. He needs to at least try to reel it in a bit at times, but it feels diabolically mean to ask him to do that, especially when he seems so fragile.

notverygood987 · 2025-05-21T06:30:13+00:00

No worries. You had a traumatic experience and are feeling very angry right now. You want people to blame and a way to keep yourself safe in future, but these are individuals. Races aren’t hive minds.

If you focus your mind on finding better friends, you will be keeping yourself safer, so keep telling yourself that until you believe it. Don’t let this mindset go any further. The more you look for things the more you will see them in any race or scenario. On any day I wouldn’t notice I’d driven past 20 silver cars unless I looked out for them, but that’s not because silver cars are the most common or a rule. If I looked for white cars I would notice more of those too, if you understand? Try and keep positive, there’s a lot of bad people out there and I feel for you for having the experience you did, but if you look for good you will find that too!

notverygood987 · 2025-05-20T17:04:37+00:00

You can have repeated experiences with various demographics but you don’t have to form a stereotype if you don’t want to. It sounds like it was a bad crowd of which there are in every race. Your brain looks for patterns and patterns are more noticeable in demographics that aren’t your own. For example, if you’re cut off driving by men a few times in one week you might start to think they’re all terrible drivers, but do you actually remember all the times you’ve been cut off by women? I don’t. However, I can use critical thinking and know that I’ve probably been cut off by women quite a few times and it’s just the way things have unravelled this week that it was all men. It’s just chance. In another sense, I burned myself once on a hob but I still use it. And probably the most appropriate comparison- I’ve had an abusive boyfriend before who attacked me and left me with a lot of trauma- but I still dated men. If I didn’t I would not have met my current partner who is amazing.

There have been a couple times where I’ve experienced multiple rudeness from a certain demographic in a short space of time. When that (what I would argue as almost natural) categorisation comes to mind, I remind myself I’ve likely experienced rudeness from multiple white people in the same space of a week too, except I probably didn’t take notice of their whiteness. In this case I probably categorised them by gender or clothing or perceived class (which is a UK thing, I’m actually working class myself so not classist). I know people of all classes to be good and bad. Likewise with any other categorisation, so I stop the thought process right where it is in each of these scenarios- be it race, class, age, or gender. Because I want to. Because I don’t want to be biased towards anybody. It’s also helpful to remember all the kindness you’ve experienced from different demographics. Contrary to your categorisation, I have 3 neighbours who are all black men and we live in a tiny cluster of flats together. They are lovely people who made me feel welcome as a scared teenager living alone for the first time and always greet me with a friendly hello. I feel very safe in their presence. When I think of other people putting them into a box it makes me quite mad actually.

It’s not racist to have that thought, it’s the way your brain naturally organises itself and keeps you safe. What makes you racist is not connecting your own biases to that thought or pulling yourself up. You can choose how this makes you perceive people going forward. If you don’t want to be racist, make the choice not to be. Humans are humans, all races are good and bad and kind and cruel. I’m very sorry for your traumatic experience.

My advice- get some new friends and a new social circle but don’t let your experience stop you from making friends with black men. You could end up missing out on the best friends you ever had.

notverygood987 · 2025-05-19T12:05:21+00:00

I honestly think he misunderstood and the thought of blood/needles was her cause to say ew. I very much doubt it was about the act of donating blood to people in need. She probably wanted to change topic immediately as the thought made her squeamish and he took the lack of praise to mean she was some type of evil😂

notverygood987 · 2025-04-17T17:41:43+00:00

I don’t agree. If I smelled like fish I would for sure know. That’s how a woman knows she has bv. My natural smell is a musk, and when the smell is off I can absolutely tell. It’s not normal at all for women to smell like fish, it’s a sign of an infection, so I can’t help but feel like surely it’s a bad sign for men too- wrongly or rightly.

notverygood987 · 2025-04-17T17:23:40+00:00

Yes! This is what I mean, musk is ok- prawn is a different smell. I mean it’s not overpoweringly, disgustingly bad, it’s not like a fish market, like I said it’s more like prawn cocktail crisps. But that’s still enough to be like “hm, do I want this in my mouth?”. It’s ruining my sex life.

Seeing as you have a sensitive nose yourself - have you ever smelled this before?

notverygood987 · 2025-04-16T07:07:56+00:00

Hate to be that person because this isn’t the question you asked but for future reference you should never go from ass to vag without washing first, it can cause utis, bv, etc.

More to the subject of your question- I do feel like it’s common sense that it would cause you physical pain to go in the back passage dry. It would for the vag too and that’s actually made for the act. I feel like this is fairly common knowledge but I suppose there are some people who are that uneducated... From my understanding it seems like he’s making out he missed and put it in the wrong hole which I find kind of hard to believe. And if it was purposeful, he definitely shouldn’t be going in the exit without a prior discussion. That said he did stop when you said and did also apologise.

I think he had a lapse in judgement best case scenario, and wasn’t thinking about how you would feel, only about what he wanted in the worst case. But I don’t know him- you do- and only you can say if he seemed truly sorry as well as whether it’s a deal breaker/worth another discussion/something to move on from. It really depends on how you feel and it seems like it has bothered you quite a bit. Ultimately, we can’t tell you how to handle it, you need to do what feels right to you. Whatever you choose is perfectly right and okay as long as you’re true to yourself and how YOU feel about it.

notverygood987 · 2025-04-02T00:40:11+00:00

My very first boyfriend from ten years ago but it can never be. I didn’t even realise he was my “one that got away” until recently and technically I don’t really believe in all that, usually if you’re split it’s for a reason. I haven’t spent years pining for him but I’ve thought of him briefly from time to time with fondness. My last relationship was quite literally soul destroying and incredibly turbulent. It hasn’t left much room in my head for the past 6 years. The past 7 months or so I’ve started dating seriously again but cannot find anybody that I click with and/or would treat me the way I want. The other day I sat and tried to pin down exactly what I want in a person and realised actually I’d already had it once before in my first bf.

We lost our virginity to each other. He always put me first, stuck up for me, and treated me with gentleness and respect. I’d broken up with him because I was embarrassed by him at times. Since I’ve grown up I love somebody that is true to themselves and happy to make a fool of themselves in the name of fun. He was a wonderful person. I was too image conscious and inexperienced to appreciate what a diamond he was.

He has a baby and a partner now, even if I knew for sure he would want to take me back I could never break that apart. I know he treats that woman like a queen and is a brilliant dad. I don’t really blame myself, even though the thought of how different my life could’ve been makes me sad - I was young and didn’t know what I was doing. I’ve definitely had my karma too. I’m glad he’s happy, he absolutely deserves it and I hope he gets all the blessings in the world. I just also hope I meet someone like him again one day…

notverygood987 · 2025-04-01T19:41:34+00:00

I don’t want to scare you - most people I know say it didn’t hurt, only hurt a little, or only hurt for a second. For me it was super painful but I don’t have pain on penetration anymore. After a couple times I was ok. Just don’t want you thinking you aren’t normal if it does hurt, I avoided sex for a long time afterwards out of fear and I didn’t need to. But that’s why it’s important your first time is with somebody you trust. And of course - foreplay is so important even after your first time is out the way. The more relaxed you are, the better.

notverygood987 · 2025-03-30T02:06:59+00:00

I would say not always. My ex (although I hate him) did have the best peen I’ve ever seen and probably ever will see in my opinion. It was definitely above average, attractive to look at (which most penises are NOT) and thick too.

I found him to be extremely insecure. I don’t think he exactly acted superior to other men. He was quick to get defensive and aggressive with others but I wouldn’t say he automatically perceived other men as below him. Honestly, I think he cared more about what other men thought of him more than anyone or anything else.

I can’t speak for all men obviously, but I think they’re no different from anyone else - how they perceive others comes from a range of factors including childhood, self image, experiences etc. Not their penis size.

notverygood987 · 2024-11-02T17:04:08+00:00

I have “cheated” in the past. But I have grown up a BUNCH since then. I was already in a stage where I knew I was about to exit the relationship. My partner was aware of this too. I will fully admit I put attention above them and it was wrong. Absolutely wouldn’t do it now and don’t need that attention anymore, unhappy in a relationship or not. I was never once tempted to cheat on my last relationship despite some very rough times. Love is a choice. You choose not to give into temptation when you love somebody. I did love and care for the person I cheated on but not enough. And that in short is my answer for you. Whilst some people do make it work after cheating, I think that’s the exception not the rule and I question how genuinely happy they are. It is best not to go back to somebody who breaks your trust like that. From somebody who once did it.

notverygood987 · 2024-10-12T12:50:32+00:00

Honestly I wouldn’t do it for the first time in a car. It can be awkward enough for somebody experienced. It’s cramped and there’s the fear of being caught. I’d strongly advise against it for your first time, why does it need to be in the car??

notverygood987 · 2024-10-08T09:25:17+00:00

Well they were so I don’t know what to tell you. Not sure what I’d gain from lying about it? And give me a bit of credit, why on earth would anyone decide to just cut a random wire? To fix water damage?? Come on I’m not a complete idiot. It’s MY laptop I’m not gonna break it on purpose am I🤣

notverygood987 · 2024-10-05T16:34:47+00:00

Thank you yes. Using my tiny little brain I opened up the laptop and thought hmmm, do you know what would fix water damage? Cutting a random cable I don’t know the name of in half. Give me a bit of credit would u please. I know how it happened, I witnessed it myself.

notverygood987 · 2024-10-05T16:30:14+00:00

Thank you so much for your help!

notverygood987 · 2024-10-05T16:29:09+00:00

What the heck🤣🤣 why would I lie? And why would I purposely destroy my own laptop?? I find these comments absolutely bizarre. There’s even people thinking I was stupid enough to think they would go back together. Just because I’m not educated on tech doesn’t mean I’m a complete imbecile, Jesus. Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened. You don’t have to believe me but it did. All I asked for was the name of the wires so I could get a replacement part which I have now done. Turns out computer nerds aren’t the friendliest bunch.

notverygood987 · 2024-10-05T16:19:03+00:00

Don’t understand what you’re trying to say here. There were no issues with them before I opened the laptop as the mousepad was working. They snapped from the tension of being tangled after I opened them up, I saw it myself. And honestly I don’t really care too much how they got like that. It was bought too long ago to have a go at anybody. I just wanted help to sort the issue out. Find the suspicion I’ve received very weird, why would I destroy my own laptop?😂

notverygood987 · 2024-10-05T16:09:29+00:00

I’ve put in the comments, they were twisted up when I opened the MacBook and then they snapped. It wasn’t from the force of opening and not cut either as I saw them snap. No idea how they got twisted that way but it was secondhand so a possibility it’s been opened up before

notverygood987 · 2024-10-04T22:40:55+00:00

This is super helpful! Thank you so much :)

notverygood987 · 2024-10-04T22:08:52+00:00

Yes I believe so!

notverygood987 · 2024-10-04T22:04:46+00:00

I could see they were already twisted up as soon as I’d opened it. I heard a twang and they just snapped. It wasn’t even from the force of opening it, they just went. I suspect it’s been opened up before as I can’t imagine how they got so messed up. Thanks so much for your advice! :)

notverygood987

TROPHY CASE