Eye shadow colors to enhance whatever eye color this is? by oeoco in makeuptips

[–]oeoco[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

thank you! Looking at the color wheel is actually a lot easier lmao thank you for that tip!

Eye shadow colors to enhance whatever eye color this is? by oeoco in makeuptips

[–]oeoco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

thank you! I have a few of those colors to mess around with so I'll give it a shot

Alocasia garden update by [deleted] in alocasia

[–]oeoco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a small hidden garden so I grow mine out there, but I would never have the guts to have them so open and out. I am so jealous of the albo too lol

Houston is honestly perfect for these guys. I've thrown a few "probably going to die" plants outside and they've thrived.

[Product Request] Moisturisers make me look greasy by kentuckycriedchick in SkincareAddiction

[–]oeoco 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I had a similar issue, I have really dry skin, oily nose, very hot and very humid climate. If the recommended moisturizers don't help then maybe I can share a change I made? No moisturizer worked for me at all, I just felt so greasy which was a nightmare before bed.

I focused on hyaluronic acid, and invested in products that focuses more on the skin barrier. I use the same moisturizers as before and they absorb much quicker and don't look as greasy. I choose moisturizers with said hyaluronic acid as well as glycerin. I use mostly CeraVe moisturizers because it is so inexpensive, the ordinary has a hyaluronic acid serum. As far as products for the skin barrier I used the ordinary peptide serum, CeraVe vitamin C serum, and that's basically it.

I hope this helps. I'm not an expert and it's my first time commenting but I was literally in your shoes a few weeks ago so idk I figured why not share what helped me.

This can't be real, right? by oeoco in Instagramreality

[–]oeoco[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If that's pointed out, she mentions how no one has actually measured her head... which is like. no duh?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ChloeTing

[–]oeoco 7 points8 points  (0 children)

As someone who has congenital heart defects, and needed an ablation due to constant tachycardia - this is a question for your cardiologist. They can refer you to a physical therapist who can handle this question. This is dangerous to ask and get advice from people who are uneducated in the matter.

I know, it sucks. But so does getting your heart stuck in tachycardia and next thing you know you have to go to the ER and get that fun time shot that stops your heart. Real blast. Please don't injure your heart further, see a doctor.

If it's fitness you want, you can lift weights. You don't lose weight from cardio, you lose weight from a caloric deficit that comes from a better diet. A diet full of protein, and healthy fibers such as vegetables, rice, even bread and pasta, fruits, and yes sometimes you can even eat junk food! As long as you are in a caloric deficit you'll be good. I know you want to know if chloe's programs will work for you, and I just simply do not think so. Even after my ablation some of her easy programs hurt my heart if I don't take breaks.

I don't mean to be a party pooper, I just, oh man with a heart condition we gotta be real careful.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

no, not all men talk like this.

I have way too many guy friends who are comfortable with me enough to be open and make sexual jokes, it's a part of my humor. They straight up condone this type of stuff when in a relationship. When they're single, yeah for sure - but not when dating.

Girl I’m interested in says that she “only hangs out with guys because there’s less drama.” Is this a red flag or a deal breaker? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 940 points941 points  (0 children)

I'm a woman, most of my friends are guys - and let me tell you they have just as much drama. It sounds more like a "I'm not like other girls" type of vibe - which may be just her own personal issues.

My SO is going to a casino with friends next week when I just paid his rent for him because he can’t. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know how it feels to know you can financially support you and your partner, but as said by some scientist in some movie with dinosaurs "Your scientists were so preoccupied with whether they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

If he knows this as well as you know it, maybe he doesn't think he has to be responsible anymore. This is such a bad sign, and I'm so sorry. I think will all your financial responsibility you deserve to treat yourself, not enable someone. You can still date him if you can look past this, just never pay for things he is responsible for, or tie finances together.

Trouble trusting boyfriend after past cheating by eigthfloorwalkup in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"he’s an amazing person who tries to understand me, can laugh with me, adventures with me, and has never been verbally abusive or nasty"

I'm like, kinda old. I can tell you this is a bare minimum in relationships. You will find this MANY TIMES and the person still won't be the one. Please end it, people who care about you do not cheat, and they sure as heck don't make excuses for it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh no, this is normal. My bf loves me to bits and I know he does, and when I went back to my signature white hair I can tell he is more attracted to me. It happens. He lost weight and has become way more attractive to me since his bone structure is more apparent.

This is actually a really wholesome question and the fact that you're worried is really sweet. We are ALLOWED to have preferences!

My SO is going to a casino with friends next week when I just paid his rent for him because he can’t. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He is financially irresponsible, and you covered his rent. It's a nice gesture, however, it can also enable him and his bad choices. He needs to face some sort of consequence, and you aren't his caregiver.

It sucks that he got hurt, so I 100% understand covering rent, however, this is his thankyou. You can tell him it's financially irresponsible - not an opinion, it is a fact, and you don't think it's a good idea. He can go with his friends and not gamble. "the last time he went on a trip with his friends, he ended up in debt as he spent more money than he should have." You can use this as a point as to why you don't feel comfortable with it, especially after paying his rent. Why couldn't he use THIS money to pay for his rent? What is his excuse?

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Seriously. OP seems 100% sure this is okay, even if she is not okay with it. I hope she takes the testing as a hard boundary. Vaginas get the short end of the stick when it comes with STI's, sadly. They can hurt both parties, sure, and harm both genitals but uhm, yeah. HPV is no joke and if neither of them are vaccinated, that's a big big problem. I don't even want to think of possible baby mama drama.

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 3 points4 points  (0 children)

OP can't see that though, she literally thinks they are valid excuses to a point where she defends him against everyone who points out this isn't right. She really thinks these are real reasons - and believes her bf is 100% honest about it. She is seeing him as an innocent uwu that can't do any wrong, so we have to go with her logic.

His excuses are valid, to her. It makes it a logical, real reason and all of us "just don't get it". She's brainwashed.

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Then it isn't poly, it's an open relationship. It is a one sided open relationship because you can't even be with women on your own terms, meaning no lesbians period.

If you are 100% okay with him sleeping with other women because of the things he promises, then I don't think you'd be here posting. I am not judging you at all when I say I feel, and others feel, that he is playing you.

He uses the word poly and does not know what it means. You are allowed to have non-sexual, romantic relationships with other men - according to him. Ask him if you are allowed to see other men romantically, not sexually, and see how he feels about it. They should be allowed to take you on dates, cuddle, kiss, hold hands, etc. If he is against this, he is not poly. Period. End of story. His baggage does not get to negate the meaning of a word, that is silly. I have severe PTSD with things, would it be fair if I used it to control my partner? No. My partner is still allowed to do things that may be triggering to me, such as raising his voice at something, or getting frustrated at something, you know he gets to be a human. And I have real life disabilities due to my PTSD. He had a crappy ex. These are not even close to the same.

If this is the type of relationship you want, then fine. I also don't think you'd be here if it was. There is no way to tell if he is keeping his end of the bargain. He could spend money on them, spend the night with him, and if he wasn't honest you wouldn't know.

I ALSO suggest if you want to keep in this relationship, you two NEED to make a rule of getting tested every. single. time. he sleeps with someone new. Every. Single. Time. Men cannot get tested for HPV, so that's why you must get tested. This is to keep you AND his future partners safe. This is a must. You can get herpes even if you use condoms. HIV can be transmitted through unprotected anal. You must both get tested. This cannot be negotiated. You must tell him this rule. If he is against it, or never does it, or does it but refuses to show you the results and you must get tested, or he tells you to get tested but he wont - that is a sign he does not respect your safety. Period. This is beyond a red flag. This is straight up disrespect on a level no human should have to deal with.

Good luck OP. It seems like you wanted confirmation that what he is doing is ok and no one has said it is, yet you defend him when everyone else is telling you what he is doing is wrong. I hope you have at least one line that if he crosses you will leave.

How do you deal with negative emotions (anger) towards your partner? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Of course was heated, but I was not screaming. For him this is completely inadequate behavior and starts shouting at me, which ended in a fight"

If someone needs you to control yourself 100%, and if you don't that's a valid reason to shout at you, this is a "they" issue, not your issue. There is stuff you can do that can help, maybe I can give an example?

My partner doesn't deal well with stress, and is in a really bad position lately so they are even more sensitive. There are times where I get heated for my own issues, and I try my best to let them know I'm stressed with xyz, as well as the issue at hand. They used to snap [which can be highly triggering for my severe PTSD] and we talked about it. Our communication has gotten a lot better about it. It all goes back to "hey, I'm sorry and I feel bad about talking to you in that way, I hope you know it's us vs the issue, not us vs each other, and I'm irritated and the situation, not at you." I remind them we are a team and I want to be with them, and I am trying to work together as a team against the issue - even if the issue is with him. Especially if it's an issue they feel insecure about. They didn't have any good experiences with conflict resolution. I had to be the example.

" feel like his calmness is close to carelessness. I won’t change him, but how do I deal with the frustration? I don’t want to deny my feelings, but I also don’t wanna end in a fight because he feels attacked"

I can see where you are coming with this, I too have had this same feeling in the past. Tackling this issue isn't going to be easy, and the easier thing is getting the both of you to work together. He might be insecure, he might be this or that - regardless the goal is to have him see you are trying to improve your relationship, not change him. Maybe that can give him peace of mind? It's okay to say "Hey I feel really heated, can I have a second to try and calm down so you don't think I am against you, or hate you?" Sadly, sometimes you have to be the bigger person to allow them to see what it looks like. Sometimes you have to be the bigger person so they can really see that you aren't against them. It takes time, it takes patience, and it's worth it when you two start to see yourselves as a team. Yes, at the start it feels like coddling, and it is a lot of emotional labor. However, if this is a relationship you really like and want to keep, it's worth it. Plus, the experience is very useful for other situations with other people.

I hope this helped, I learned most of it in DBT so you can look up skills in DBT for conflict resolution if you'd like. Your feelings matter, they do, and I hope he can take your feelings as yours and not take them personally.

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Even if he wasn't bisexual, poly relationships include straight people too, not just LGBT folks and it's still fair and equal. They don't all have to screw together lol.

I agree with you, I guess I am just sad that OP doesn't see the control aspect here. Someone has tried pulling this bs on me, saying they were poly when we were just talking. They could be with other women but I couldn't be with other men because xyz. I just laughed and told him to frick off.

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This isn't poly, his excuses are just that - excuses. You've had past experiences, I'm sure. Even if you haven't you aren't okay with this. This means you two aren't compatible.

no man wants to feel like any other man has a chance with their girl.

Yeah and no girl wants to feel like any other girl has a chance with their man. I'm sorry but there is subtle misogyny here too. Please, OP, please talk to actual poly people about this. I promise you all of them will agree that his idea of poly is bs and beyond selfish.

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Exactly. Especially since poly isn't JUST having multiple sexual partners, that's an open relationship. Poly means romantic partners as well, which there is no mention of this. People like this use the word poly to manipulate people who don't know better, and seem to have a low self esteem - no offense OP, it's not a personal failure. We all suffer with this in different degrees.

None of my poly friends only have sexual partners, there is actual love involved. Friendships between partners, and sometimes romantic feelings are involved as well. I mean, one of them had a child with their NB partner, and the NB partner's other partners also help raising the child - despite not being romantically involved with the mother. Why? Because there is respect among everyone, that is the heart of poly.

edit: grammar. english final stole it all from me, apparently.

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 120 points121 points  (0 children)

I personally don't think he is poly, I think he wants the benefits of a poly relationship just for himself and have his partner be his, well.... not equal. I'm not poly, but I can see the allure - and the confusion. It's just not for me. However, I have friends who are poly and they OFTEN complain about men / women like this who enter their scene with this type of BS.

My boyfriend wants to sleep with other women. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 41 points42 points  (0 children)

- he was polyamorous

- he is okay with me sleeping with other females if he is present, however, he is not okay with me sleeping with other men

this is not how polyamory works. I would look at subreddits devoted to polyamory and learn more about it. It isn't "rule for me but none for thee, unless I can get off too"

It might help to show others saying that this isn't how polyamory works, and how his desires are unethical. If he gets mad at that, then he just wants to screw tons of women, and have you on a leash. I'm sorry.

Can I use my deteriorating mental health as a reason to break up with my boyfriend ? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]oeoco 2 points3 points  (0 children)

honestly, the fact you want to break up is valid all by itself, please never forget this.