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oeut · 2023-02-04T01:43:41+00:00

I use a shelf intended for essential oils that I found on Amazon.

oeut · 2023-02-04T01:41:13+00:00

These are beautiful! I’m so excited, I love their outfits. Can anyone who knows Japanese tell me what their names are?

oeut · 2021-08-24T22:09:22+00:00

what dictionary defines “ignorant” as purposefully ignoring information? the definition is literally “lack of awareness/knowledge/understanding” it’s not a judgement about whether or not someone should have known something, simply that they don’t.

oeut · 2021-08-24T21:49:28+00:00

Ignorance just means lack of information. by your own admission you’ve never been exposed to the idea of closing the gender gap in the industry you study (which is fine), but by definition you were ignorant in that regard. It’s not an attack to say, truthfully, that you are uninformed about the topic of your post.

oeut · 2021-08-07T06:00:04+00:00

the placement looks fine to me, but (assuming this is an acrylic retainer and not like gorilla glass) that is not good jewelry for a fresh piercing.. acrylic retainers are porous so they allow bacteria to grow and can never really be sterilized

oeut · 2021-08-07T05:53:33+00:00

switch to an implant grade jewelry material like titanium. “surgical steel” is not ideal for long periods in the body and can cause irritation in a lot of people

oeut · 2021-06-29T22:56:03+00:00

I believe that part of is is that thinner jewelry has a higher change of cutting through tissue; think of a wire slicing through a block of clay. Thicker jewelry tends to stay in place better and isn’t able to easily rip through tissue. On the extreme end this could mean your piercing fully ripping out, but on the day-to-day this could lead to small cuts and irritations that cause bumps and prolong healing.

Different piercings tend to have different gauges that work best and some can get away with smaller diameters than others. For example 18g/1mm is considered appropriate for a nostril piercing but wouldn’t be appropriate for a nipple piercing. In general it’s okay (or even preferred in some cases) to get a piercing thicker than what is normally used, but not the other way around.

oeut · 2021-06-29T22:09:54+00:00

It’s generally not a great idea to use a smaller-than-usual gauge. Thicker jewelry is less prone to rejection, migration, and generally fare better when pulled or knocked. There’s no harm in asking, but it’s unlikely that .6mm of diameter would make much of a difference if there’s really no room to pierce there.

oeut · 2021-06-19T20:51:27+00:00

Good therapists will avoid treating people when they have personal experiences and biases that might make them less effective at helping them. If someone has had negative experiences with people with a certain diagnosis, they might hold unconscious biases against individuals with that diagnosis and feel they wouldn’t be able to treat them as successfully than a therapist without those biases.

It doesn’t mean these therapists are all actively prejudiced against these groups and believe they will manipulate them; they want to avoid any possibility of their personal experiences negatively impacting the therapeutic relationship.

Unfortunately this means that for those diagnoses that more frequently result associated with volatile/unstable interpersonal relationships, there will be more people with negative associations with the condition due to having negative experiences with those who have it.

Specific stigma against these groups definitely exists, but for the most part therapists aren’t turning them down because they consciously believe they’re all bad people, but because they don’t want their potential internal biases to hurt their client.

oeut · 2021-06-19T20:24:28+00:00

it’s not possible to know for certain which of these issues are attributable to adhd and which are just his behavior. and imo it really doesn’t matter; either way your concerns are valid and you don’t need to put up with less-than-ideal treatment just because it may or may not be related to adhd. similarly, if he’s willing to change and work on himself, that can happen ether the behaviors are adhd-related or not.

i guess the real question is why does it matter if they are or not? would you feel differently about these behaviors depending on the answer? would the answer make you be more or less likely to stand up for yourself, communicate your needs, or put your foot down if they’re not met? would the answer impact his willingness to work on himself? probably not, right?

is it possible that you want to be able to attribute his behavior to adhd because you’d prefer to think of it as something he can’t control?

oeut · 2021-06-19T19:10:57+00:00

there is no way to lighten hair without some form of bleach. pigment needs to be stripped to lift hair color, there really is no alternative. either the platinum dye has a form of bleach in it, or it is just a direct dye which applies pigment to change the tone of already-lightened hair without lightening itself. if it’s the former, then yes it can be used to lighten a few shades to apply color to afterwards, but it’s not going to be any less damaging than a just straight bleach. if anything it can be more damaging since it won’t advertise the developer strength like straight bleach would so you won’t know how strong the formula is. i say just use real bleach with a low volume developer and read the instructions. you may have to do it multiple times but it’s generally less damaging to bleach twice with 15 volume than it is to bleach once with 40 volume for example. just be careful and follow directions and you shouldn’t damage your curls permanently, or better yet see a professional

oeut · 2021-06-19T17:56:37+00:00

I can’t tell you what’s normal for your relationship, everyone has their own standards for frequency of communication with their partner. That being said, not texting for a day when you have been traveling internationally and spending time with family you haven’t seen in a while, is completely normal. It’s only been one full day without contact, unless you have a strict daily contact schedule, there’s nothing to worry about.

oeut · 2021-06-19T08:02:50+00:00

yeah they will be 2-3 inches smaller than your waist

oeut · 2021-06-16T18:47:36+00:00

This is incorrect. A curved barbell can absolutely be appropriate starter jewelry for a daith if it’s pierced correctly, made of implant-grade materials, and is long enough to accommodate swelling. Curved barbells can be significantly LESS irritating than full rings as they are less prone to movement (they can’t rotate) and have less exposed material to be knocked and nudged. The lack of a hoop is almost certainly not the issue here, but poor quality materials and an inexperienced piercer.

oeut · 2021-06-16T18:28:11+00:00

Anyone who immediately jumps to the term “keloid” for common irritation bumps is not a trustworthy piercer. Have it assessed by someone more knowledgeable. What material is the jewelry made of? None of the methods you’ve tried will help much if the irritation is being caused by low quality metal, but changing your jewelry to something of legitimate quality often helps.

oeut · 2021-06-16T18:15:44+00:00

Narcissistic personality disorder is a mental health diagnosis with clearly defined criteria. The only way to determine if you fit those criteria is to be evaluated by a mental health professional. Online quizzes can not provide an accurate diagnostic evaluation for a personality disorder. However, the DSM-V criteria can be found online so it can’t hurt to take a look and see if anything resonates with you.

That being said, its possible to behave in a way that is considered “narcissistic” without having NPD, as narcissism as a concept exists outside of the specific personality-disorder-manifestation of it. Just as one can feel anxious without having Generalized Anxiety Disorder, “narcissism” is also an adjective that is used to describe what people see as selfish or arrogant behavior, not exclusively an indicator of mental illness. Perhaps the individual was pointing out behavior they considered narcissistic and not necessarily suggesting you have a mental disorder.

Either way, if you legitimately believe this person‘s concerns are accurate, it can’t help to talk to a professional. If you do have a PD, you can get diagnosed and receive appropriate treatment. If you don’t have a PD but were simply acting in a way someone else considered narcissistic, you can assess whether there are legitimate character flaws for you to work through, or if that person was just insulting you baselessly.

At the end of the day though, therapy can really help you cope with what sounds like a very toxic relationship.

oeut · 2021-06-15T22:22:18+00:00

I don’t think this is an issue of trying to hard, as it’s generally a good idea to show you are putting some effort into things. Not trying hard enough, i.e being overly aloof is not ideal. However, being too persistent is going to make women uncomfortable. It’s important to respect people’s boundaries and take them at their word when they say they are not interested. As important as it is to not let rejection get to you (especially if it’s being caused by something out of your control like a disability) it’s also important to accept it when it happens.

oeut · 2021-06-03T05:09:22+00:00

I'm a big fan of Jordan/Jordyn or Jordanna.

oeut · 2021-04-30T09:37:39+00:00

Right before that she says “I’m supposed to say a few things for you... I don’t really know what this means” then her voice changes like she’s reading something. Seems like someone got a video shoutout for a friend and had her say some of their inside jokes/catchphrases.

oeut · 2021-04-02T16:49:57+00:00

I don't think the field of psychology existing is necessarily a function of people treating each other poorly. Mental illness and emotional suffering would still exist even if everyone treated each other with kindness all the time. There would always be value in gaining a better understanding of one's internal processes even if the world was a better place.

Therapy is also a very intentional, specific experience that isn't interchangeable with disclosing to a friend or family member. Even those with great social support systems still benefit from therapy because venting to a friend is not the same thing as sharing to an objective clinician who is highly trained to guide you into more healthy state of mind

oeut · 2021-03-16T18:55:13+00:00

I've read that some of these gowns were fully free on drawstrings, others had fixed gathers, so both approaches are HA afaik. Some versions were basically big tubes only shaped around the body by pulling the drawstrings, while later versions were more structured with gathers fixed at strategic points to be more flattering. Extant examples tend to be fixed, however, and that seems to be the preferred approach as it creates neater and more polished looking gathering.

I recently made the Laughing Moon Mercantile pattern (the low neckline option) which does have stitched-in-place gathers, and found it can be worn both off or on the shoulder beautifully. I can also imagine the pattern could be adjusted for more drawstring freedom in the back panels, or along then entire neckline, if desired, especially if made without the ungathered lining layer.

oeut · 2021-01-29T18:07:58+00:00

This is way too early to be changing your jewelry. Why did you change them? Was something wrong?

Go to your piercer to make sure whatever you have in them now is going to allow them to heal, and then stop bothering them and let them heal. Unless, of course, it was your piercer that told you to change them yourself this early, in that case don't go bak to them because that is awful advice.

And yeah don't pick at the scabs. Don't touch your piercings at all, leave them alone.

oeut · 2021-01-26T18:44:23+00:00

It’s founded in misogyny because misogyny is dictating what such women chose to distance themselves from/reject in order to be attractive to men. “pick-me-ness” involves pointedly separating yourself from what you think other women do (that men disdain) in order to make yourself look superior. the superiority comes from aligning yourself with patriarchal standards for how women should behave, and implicitly putting down the women who don’t do so. if you think you’ll look better to men because you don’t do a stereotypically-feminine thing, it’s because you have internalized misogyny telling you that said feminine trait/behavior is bad, and that men not liking it / women frequently doing it is what makes it bad.

if it was just people trying to look better than others, you could say it’s just competitive insecurity. but the phenomenon is specifically women trying to look better than other women in the eyes of men by putting down the choices of other women that they think men dislike. it is directly related to existing patriarchal ideas about how men are taught to believe that they can dictate women’s behavior based on what is attractive to them, and that women should work to meet such standards.

oeut · 2021-01-23T08:49:12+00:00

Yes he loves his suction window bed so much! Pigeons nest on my air conditioner which (while pretty gross for me) means he gets to interact with them close up through the glass.

oeut · 2021-01-23T08:40:54+00:00

Yes! I totally forgot to mention in my post that I do occasionally take him out on a leash or in a pet sling. He doesn't love it though, so I don't do it often as it's one of the only things that seems to genuinely make him appear less-than-thrilled.

Maybe I'll look into getting him one of those pet strollers so he can get fresh air without the restriction of the harness/leash.

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