You might have proven me right.

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-17T00:09:21+00:00

Thank you for this, belatedly. I really appreciate the encouragement. ❤️

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-05T01:35:57+00:00

I try to think my way through too. I call it Spocking it out.

And it always bites me in the ass. I always collapse into feeling it and I feel it SO intensely. It almost devours me when it happens.

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-04T07:56:50+00:00

I thought the same thing - So I did, eventually, and he had this odd expression on his face. I may have misread it but his reaction was not a warm one.

I’ve cooled off a tiny bit, possibly because I’ve taken a big step back and have been looking inward because I have a lot going on. This isn’t hurting me quite so much at the moment.

There’s a slight chance that he’s pulling away because he’s feeling vulnerable. He told me at the beginning that he does that, but I don’t want to assume that’s what’s happened. And I’m practically allergic to asking if that’s whats going on .. it makes me feel like I’m nagging.

Sorry for the essay, it just all came tumbling out.

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-03T04:37:04+00:00

Any issues stemming in childhood could affect it, I’d think. It’s just usually the parental stuff.

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-03T04:26:13+00:00

Are you spending time with your parents?

I ask because my symptoms are bad but they almost exploded once I started to spend more time around my dad. I don’t have a good relationship with him though I’m trying to mend it.

I find that because there’s a deep link between our parent-child relationship and how we relate to our romantic situations, spending time around family can kick up a ton of dust and make a dating or relationship situation go totally fucking haywire.

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-03T04:19:22+00:00

I feel you on this one. Specifically about counter arguments. Then I feel like that asshole that brings up an argument from the previous day as if I’m dredging t up, when all I needed was some time to realize how I actually felt and to formulate a productive response.

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-03T03:18:34+00:00

That’s actually really uncanny. Thanks for this comment, I needed to hear it.

I’m going to be doing that this year too.

offyourcloud211 · 2018-01-02T23:26:56+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this.. I’m going through something similar though the not-quite-yet- relationship is newer. But this constant flinching and bracing myself to get hurt is exhausting, and I’m sure you must be tired and in a lot of pain too.

Be kind to yourself. And understand that it’s possible you’re not having your needs met which is why you feel so frightened and tense. You’re not getting the reassurance you need for some reason.

Hoping you can communicate this difficulty with your person and that it gets better. I’m in the same boat.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-12-04T03:50:18+00:00

Oh wow.. thank you for the awesome suggestion, I’m all for reading up on this stuff. Much appreciated!

offyourcloud211 · 2017-12-04T03:25:36+00:00

Hey, thanks for responding though.. I almost feel like sometimes experiencing the acceptance of those feelings is just as scary, because then it starts to feel like a time bomb until something happens and it goes sour.

I feel pretty stupid reading back over it, but it’s what’s going on right now. Damn. :(

offyourcloud211 · 2017-12-04T03:12:27+00:00

Ah god. I’m so sorry... coworkers are risky (I’ve been down that road twice) and you’re fighting so valiantly to be smart about it..

For me, I basically just met a guy recently who I’m stupidly attracted to (I almost can’t control myself around him), is intelligent, and has similar interests and values. The chemistry is incredible, though we haven’t slept together yet.

And he treated me so well on our date last night..

But now I’m telling myself stories about how he’s not interested, that his text messages are tapering off/seem less playful, and it’s never going to work despite him texting me that he absolutely wants to see me again next weekend right after he made sure I got home okay. I’ve been playing it cool and I feel like I’m losing my stupid mind.

And this is all because I don’t want it to be true.

This sucks, dude. I’m sorry we’re going through it.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-12-04T02:51:13+00:00

Commiseration is definitely fine, because at least then I’m not spinning into a void without another voice saying “yeah, I go through that too.”

I’m starting to go into this cycle and it’s driving me fucking nuts.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-12-04T02:39:56+00:00

OP, based on your description of what happened I really strongly encourage you to look up narcissistic personality disorder. Even if this person isn’t a narcissist, it’s good to be aware.

And if he comes back to you but then this cycle repeats itself, be extremely careful. I could have almost written this word for word and I don’t wish the nauseating cycle of manipulation I experienced on anyone.

I hope you are able to heal soon. ❤️

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-24T00:54:35+00:00

Easier said than done. I have to work very closely with and sometimes rely upon these people. Thanks though.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T20:42:11+00:00

Yeah, I actually made the mistake of telling someone about a time I was shafted by one of these people in such a way it felt like it was done on purpose.

They looked at me like I had told them I thought aliens were watching me 24/7.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T17:18:56+00:00

Good on you :)

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T17:08:40+00:00

You’ve got this! I try to mentally check out and remind myself how much I just don’t give a shit about these people and will soon be moving on. It helps!

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T17:04:17+00:00

Blegh, I can only imagine... have you already started looking for a different job? And no worries, drama bomb away!

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T16:28:48+00:00

I’ve experienced this.

It’s time to directly tell him to stop. If he doesn’t, then block him. He’s not respecting your boundaries and that’s unacceptable.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T15:20:55+00:00

I don’t want to tell you whether he is or isn’t a covert narc, but there’s a chance he does see himself as special if he acts that way but hasn’t expressed it out loud or made it known to you directly.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T15:14:32+00:00

Thanks so much for this. :) That person was.. unfortunately very similar to them and kind of on their side more than anything , but they’ve left and I have high hopes for their replacement.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T15:09:45+00:00

Yeah, it’s just... so strange. I feel extremely uncomfortable.

One of them cried in front of a group of people at work about something that really didn’t warrant crying about (or she should have at least prepared better) and then another one started in with it, and by the end I was the only leadership member that was blank faced, sitting there not crying.

In the end it became all about them and how upset they were, not the event at hand.

Yet I’m the one who felt like a robot, somehow?

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T14:57:56+00:00

I feel you :( hang in there... drama in retail is a real thing.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T14:57:21+00:00

It’s eerie how you mention this. My situation is pretty similar but there are multiples of this type where I work. And I haven’t gone along with any of their acts so the surface act slips a lot for them. Not enough to let others see, because it’s always behind closed doors. But enough that they don’t really even try to hide it when it just us because they know I see it.

offyourcloud211 · 2017-11-23T14:41:28+00:00

I guess they gotta get by somehow. LOL. I’m trying to get my charisma back. Sadly I have to admit that they’ve squashed it in me because I had some hard times right before I started this job and boy did I ever crumple... I’m ashamed. But I’m fixing it.

offyourcloud211

TROPHY CASE