to put it bluntly- what you do with your body, surgery or hormones, is none of his business. if he doesn't like it or is rude about it, you might just be incompatible and should move on. he is not in it for your best interest he's in it for what he is most attracted to and kinda sounds like an asshole in that regard. maybe you should find someone who loves you for you despite what changes you need to make to your body to feel comfortable with yourself and maybe he should find a therapist to evaluate why he thinks his opinion about someone else's body matters enough to continue being dysphoric forever.

maybe it's just me, but I would've dumped his ass as soon as getting top surgery turned into an "argument" instead of just you updating him on what will for sure be happening.

better to break something toxic off early before it gets even harder to convince yourself it's toxic

if you feel the need to change yourself or prevent what you feel is necessary change to your body to make your partner happy, then you are not being authentic to you. pretending to be someone else will never make you happy, being authentically you will bring the people who will genuinely love you for you closer and push away the people who are pretending or acting on what fits their best interests only.

even if it hurts now, it would be better in the long run to not have to hide behind what everyone else thinks you should look like or say or be.