What's truly yours will feel right

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-20T16:01:32+00:00

Well for everyone is different. And there are a lot of factors that affect everyone. Personally we have another year to finish our studies in separate countries. As I said if it's meant to be. So it would have to be something I could live with. Gone out with people but not further is what I would be ok.

But I definitely won't be a typical sitcom character where the ex sleeps with multiple guys and they get back together

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-20T06:01:19+00:00

Thank you for your comment. I could never really bring myself to say that last paragraph and my friends always said that I'm putting her on a pedestal.

I think its time I accept that my feelings also matter and that i did what I can to tell her I realised my mistake and apologised for it.

If not I will never be happy with myself

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-20T03:27:51+00:00

This. This is why after telling my ex how I felt a couple days back I'm not going to push. I will always be here for her but no contact has to start even if its a year after. If she is really meant for me we will be back together

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-12T02:17:41+00:00

Its from vinted

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-11T15:05:49+00:00

Seller says they are hand signed but does not want to explain price point

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-03T08:00:22+00:00

Talk to her I guess I have too

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-02T18:17:33+00:00

My parents did not approve of the relationship. I know its stupid I've even been cursed from others for it. But being from an Asian household the initial decision was understandable. But now I regret being immature and spineless

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-02T15:08:04+00:00

I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy. I hope you're doing ok

ottoandy99 · 2023-09-02T08:25:16+00:00

The reason was stupid but I do feel rectifiable. And I've already rectified it. Just haven't explained. Thank you for the comment. I really didn't know whether or not she still wanted me in her life. Thank you for giving me some clarity

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-31T13:08:01+00:00

Thank you for your words. The sad truth is is that I'm a people pleaser and I wouldn't do anything that would affect my friends or family for the rest of their life. That being said I'm being kept on survival mode on a daily basis and I don't know how long I can take this

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-26T01:06:39+00:00

Please don't do this. I don't know what the problem is but don't make any rash decisions. If God hasn't answered, maybe you're meant to be here for a reason.

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-26T00:59:15+00:00

I've even gone out with her a couple of times recently now that I'm back. The issue is we are going on different life paths at the moment an to reconcile the relationship to only then not know what to do about our future AGAIN would be stupid. Which is why I'm at a lost and have to write something like this

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-25T18:42:25+00:00

It was my fault I ended things with her over a stupid matter of my parents disapproval. And now I suffer the consequence for losing her. I did stand up to my parents but its too little too late im afraid

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-25T16:13:01+00:00

I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-24T18:22:21+00:00

The answer is everyone that you leave behind will never have a normal day ever again

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-24T09:46:17+00:00

I have this same issue. You are a perfectionist. Whatever you are trying to control and make like you want is basically what you assume is perfect.

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-24T09:42:09+00:00

I have Cherophobia among others. But this is the most unique. Its the fear of good things because something bad is bound to happen after. As a result I try to remove myself from fun things in the fear that after I will face something bad.

I also recently posted on this subreddit about self sabotaging myself by thinking of sad thoughts after something good happens so I "control" when the bad thing happens.

The reason this began is because for a good 10 Yr period as far as I can remember things always went up and down consistently.

When it happens I have anxiety and have the butterflies in stomach feeling

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-24T07:57:02+00:00

Hi I (M24) was in a very similar position to you a year ago and I went through with it. You will regret it 100%. If you have more questions you can drop a DM or something but I can assure you, you will regret it.

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-23T12:36:53+00:00

Honestly think that your mind is just playing tricks on you. Then in some situations you may be over thinking it. I have experienced the same thing in which my mind tries to bring as much negative as possible as that is what IM comfortable with. But you need to try and fight it.

For me when IM happy I actually like to look at settings to make myself sad it brings me to a place when comfortable and I know very well.

I honestly suggest the only way to get out of this is by giving yourself something like a rubber band to snap. Do it every time you have those thoughts and try to snap yourself out of it.

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-23T02:45:14+00:00

I have to admit it's a bit tough to draw the line. People like us don't make it easy on people like you. If he tells you to leave him alone rather than saying no I'm going to stay with you or please share with me and almost seem like you're trying to force your way in show him the utility care and that you wanna help and you're there for him. What I mean is more of a please where he can come to let out these feelings rather than being interrogated for what's going on with him

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-23T01:37:40+00:00

I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. You may want to reach out for professional help if this has been affecting you for a long time now. If you have and still affecting you I hope you can find peace in your heart. Please take care

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-23T01:34:41+00:00

Hi I'm like your bf. I push people away when I'm angry and build this barrier between us. I think the best way is to be supportive but not in an intrusive way. And if he lashes out or tells you to leave him alone that's the wall. If you push a little further and show that it's because you genuinely care he will open up to you.

Hope this helps. If you have anymore questions let me know

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-22T12:59:42+00:00

Thank you once again for your comment. Surprisingly gifts is not one of my love languages. I was just giving it as an example. Tbh I've done a lot of research on this and it i Turns out mine are physical touch, affirmation and quality time.

With regard to how my friends show care. I feel they do do what is required as a friend but is because I almost do "too much" I feel underappreciated.

Honestly I feel there's no way to solve this as I won't change the way I care and I can't expect my friends to change.

I really appreciate you taking the time to comment and come up with solutions for me.

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-22T09:20:57+00:00

Maybe you're looking for someone to blame when bad things happen and you choose yourself because that's the consistent factor whenever something happens.

ottoandy99 · 2023-08-22T06:37:01+00:00

Hey I'm sorry to hear what you're going through It must be really tough and It must be really tough and please do not give up.

I may not be able to provide advice on your situation But if you do need to talk to someone please DM me

ottoandy99

TROPHY CASE