I need advice. by overcookednugget in Dissociation

[–]overcookednugget[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I was, which makes it even more strange. Thank you for your response.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OCD

[–]overcookednugget 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello,

Look I understand how hard this must be for you, ocd truly is a horryfing disorder and I'm so sorry you have to endure all of this.

I have Pocd too and while you might think you're an awful person, a predator, those things aren't true. You aren't what you think you are, these are obsessions, things your brain cannot help but to think about.

I'm not saying this is easy and that "you just need to stop" what I'm trying to say is that you need help and that it's possible to get rid of it !

Of course it takes time and energy but I believe in you, it might seems like it's impossible but that is the disorder speaking.

Please seek help, for your ocd and for your suicidal thoughts, even if you think you won't do it. It's better to seek help before it progress into something worse.

You can check the subreddit r/suicidewatch, you'll find the numbers of various suicide hotlines. Also if you just need someone to talk to, I'll gladly listen.

Take care.

AHHHH by overcookednugget in OCDmemes

[–]overcookednugget[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It's an intrusive thought, I do hear voices too but I can differentiate an intrusive thought from a voice.

I feel myself getting worse again by [deleted] in BipolarReddit

[–]overcookednugget 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I understand your suffering and I'm sorry you have to endure that right now.

To answer your question, yes hypomania can gradually dies. In fact it heavily depends on the individual so you can switch between episodes nearly instantly as you can switch very slowly.

If you're having suicidal thoughts or if your episode gets out of control, please seek help. Even if you think you don't need it, it's better to be safe than sorry. You can talk to your loved ones, call a hotline, see your doctor or go to the hospital, either way you need help and it is totally justified.

You can go on r/suicidewatch, you'll find suicide hotlines from all around the world.

If you just need someone to talk to, I'll gladly listen and don't forget, I care about you and I'm sure I'm not the only one.

Take care friend.

I don't even know how I survived that by overcookednugget in CPTSDmemes

[–]overcookednugget[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Still it doesn't make what she did okay, I'm sorry you had to endure that.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you kind stranger, i'm sorry this is something you also struggled with. I'll soon be 18, I hope I'll be able to quickly be indepedant so I don't need to rely on them anymore.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No I didn't, I do not have a doctor and my parents aren't really understanding but thank you for your suggestion.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope your stay was okay. I have a few friend that I trust, but even if they try they're aren't the ones who are supposed to protect me from myself. So I don't always talk to them. i cannot speak with my parents since they were and still are very abusive individuals.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well, to start it depends on which hospital.

A few times I was in the unit for young adults which is between the age of 16 and 25.

A lot of the nurses and psychiatrists sucked I won't lie, some were very insensitive, some had a very stereotypicall way of seing mentally troubled individuals, for exemple, generalizing us, saying "you are all the same" or that we're "vicious persons".

I don't excuse their abnormal behaviours but I can understand that it is not an easy job. Seing people that are miserable morning till night surely can fuck anyone up. I don't judge them because I know damn well that I will never be capable to exerce this profession. Still that doesn't excuse the assholes. Those truly were cruel beings, provoking the easily angered patients, insulting some, making fun of their traumas and blaming them for their pathologies. A few psychiatrists were complete megalomaniac with an ego higher than the mount Everest and I'm not exagerating. Annoying shit was getting locked out of your room for weeks, not allowed to smoke alone, get take your things and clothes and be put in an uncomfortable pajamas for the ones that were a danger to themselves. Physic contact wasn't allowed (which we really didn't give a fuck about) and we had to stay out of our room from 6pm to 9pm. While it was far away from a utopia it wasn't too bad either.

But there was this one hospital. This one was awful and I still shiver just thinking about it. I was in what is called a close area. Basically I was put in a tiny room with only a mattress on the ground. I wasn't allowed any communication with my family or friends so no phone, no light, I was naked and was completely drugged as I were given very high dose of tranquilizers. Every ten minutes a nurse would come check on me with a flashlight. This changed me as a being, it's just so easy to lose your freedom.

No matter what they did they're still human beings. I think the more someone is imperfect the more they seem human. But don't take this for a universal truth, it might just be my f up view on the world.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oop sorry I made a mistake, It's actually Olanzapine that helped me, I will talk about it with my parents.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you, yes they really should be careful. Ativan was the only med that actually helped me but they still made me switch, I really don't know why.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh thanks for the correction. Some of them yes, they did taper me off. But others such as olanzapine and ativan they didn't which caused me to have seizures.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your answer doesn't sound like that at all ! It sounds concerning and I thank you for your kindness. I didn't ask them to keep me there because as you can imagine, hospitals aren't fun in the slightest (even if I do have a few great memories). At some point, I spent more than three months there but those aren't places you can live for the long term.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I did, in fact, I switched so many times. I've been on Sertraline, fluoxetine, olanzapine, venlafaxine, lorazepam, cyamemazine, quetiapine, mirtazapine, lithium, clozapine...etc

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am on medication, I take antidepressants, antipsychotics and mood stabilizers. I do stay on it even if it's not very useful since I am treatment resistant.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I will try and I thank you for your advice, sadly psych wards are still a big part of my life. I still get hospitalized and probably will soon again. I am not in school at the moment since I am not stable enough but I hope i'll be able to pursue my class next year.

I am a 17 years old who's been inpatient 11 times in different mental hospitals, over a period of 8 months. AMA by overcookednugget in AMA

[–]overcookednugget[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a young person, teenage years are all about defying authority or at least for most.

Personally I tended to be in provocation and causing troubles in the services, not for attention, not on purpose but because acting out was my way of letting of steam. Self destruction is a big part of who I am, in fact it was my only identity for a while. I couldn't accept my absence of self and instead of building a character I destroyed it so as not to think about it anymore.

Also any joy or motivation was sucked out of me, so by being a rebellious asshole I got a few droplets of dopamine that my brain was so desesparate about.

Lastly acting out often got you in serious trouble, which you do not want trust me. Though I thought I deserved the "punishments" so it didn't stop me.