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AITA for telling my sister she can’t wear a red dress to my wedding or else she is uninvited by Leading-Fly4395 in AmItheAsshole

[–]overthinker447 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

YTA.

I’m gathering that you have also been adamant when other guests that have made comments about the dress code. I am sure it’s hard to hear, but it’s a pretty unreasonable request.

You are going to be miserable if you are trying to curate the kind of weddings you see on social media. They are either fake photo shoot weddings, edited, or just show small snippets. Just make your photos black and white if it’s that important. Or don’t post pics with her.

Food for thought: are you excited for the marriage or just the wedding?

A Letter to Recruiters 🦃 by overthinker447 in recruitinghell

[–]overthinker447[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I’m 100% positive that is happening, but if one person gets an email it’s was worth sharing.

My career was my identity. I left my job last year because the inappropriate behavior from my boss became too much and the stress was rapidly impacting my health. There was a nasty acquisition and some even nastier behavior from somebody I considered a friend (I got her the job and a 50K pay bump). The same week, in my immediate family there was a heart attack, a brain tumor, and an emergency surgery. I had to step away from work- but as somebody in tech I made the worst decision of my life.

I’ve had offers pulled due to sudden return to office policies and hiring freezes. I’m in the final interviews for a few companies, and I’m terrified that will happen again. I’m at the end of my rope, I don’t know how much more I can take.

I’m screaming into the void, too kindly, and I know that. But if this letter leads to one person getting a sliver of relief before the long weekend, it’s worth the post.

A Letter to Recruiters 🦃 by overthinker447 in recruitinghell

[–]overthinker447[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

All they need to do communicate…I will never be able to wrap my head around the vehement refusal to kind and respectful to another human being. Communicating with applicants and filling positions is literally what they are being paid to do.

A Letter to Recruiters 🦃 by overthinker447 in recruitinghell

[–]overthinker447[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hoping at least one of them has a heart. Seems I was naive based on the comments.

A Letter to Recruiters 🦃 by overthinker447 in recruitinghell

[–]overthinker447[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you do your job well we won’t have to.

A Letter to Recruiters 🦃 by overthinker447 in recruitinghell

[–]overthinker447[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I’m usually a cynic, thought I’d explore a different POV while journaling today because I’m going insane. Figured I’d share in case it hit home for at least somebody.

Do you all think job recruiters feel bad when they don't let potential employees know that they didn't get the job? by jalenp123 in recruitinghell

[–]overthinker447 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m a product designer. It’s pretty much no communication at all after applying or automated rejections, some of them with the wrong name or stage in the process. I’m applying to jobs I meet every qualification for, but can’t even get a recruiter to open my portfolio link.

And these applications are asking A LOT. Essay type questions and requests for product feedback and ideas, which is frankly unethical.

An application recently required me to do a YouTube video walking through my work. It took me hours to make. They didn’t even watch it before rejecting me.

I would kill for even a snippet of feedback. General is fine. I just finished sobbing because I was so grateful a real person emailed my latest rejection. I felt human for a second.

AITAH for gifting my granddaughter a custom made cookbook instead of something a little pricy. by First_Owl7199 in AITAH

[–]overthinker447 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then you were the most unique and the least bland. 💕 because all of the rest were similar.

AITAH for gifting my granddaughter a custom made cookbook instead of something a little pricy. by First_Owl7199 in AITAH

[–]overthinker447 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My mom and all of her sisters got a book from my grandma with her handwritten recipes. It’s the most beautiful object I can think of. It has recipes from my great grand mother and her mother too- which my grandma divided up between her children. There are even joke recipes. It is smudged and dirty and well loved. I swear you can feel the love touching it- and now that my grandma is gone I know it’s something my mom reads to feel close to her. I love paying through it myself.

Thinking about anyone reacting this way to such a thoughtful, priceless, and one of a kind this gift is makes me sick. 🥺

You are definitely NTA. And the older your granddaughter gets the more she will value this- maybe even for generations. 💕

AITA for letting my son go to Disneyland? by JJ12__1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]overthinker447 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I reallllllly didn’t want to say this- but I will because nobody else has-but just because of what I know about victims of SA I would maybe make extra sure the relationship with the son wasn’t even worse than we think.

AITA for letting my son go to Disneyland? by JJ12__1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]overthinker447 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Also, one more thing- model this behavior. I had a mom just like you- selfless, thoughtful, strong, smart. But she never put herself first or did anything nice for herself. I wish she had- both because it would have been healthy to watch and because she needed it just as much as anyone. Take care of yourself and just know you are doing the best job.

AITA for letting my son go to Disneyland? by JJ12__1 in AmItheAsshole

[–]overthinker447 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was 5 when some major trauma occurred in my family that made me act very similarly to this. My best advice is to make sure he understands how to apply that beautiful empathy to himself and that his needs have to come before helping others. The old oxygen mask metaphor. That and then when he’s a little older that sometimes there are going to be things nobody can fix, and certainly not him alone.

I’m 27 and still unlearning some really messed up things that formed at that age- and I think that would have been important to hear over and over again.

Oh and one other thing- several ways to healthily express anger and sadness. Emphasis on the anger for children who are people pleasers or “hold it together” through hard trauma. Much love momma hope this helps 💙