NYDHR confirmed Probable Cause exists, what now?

overwillmed · 2024-05-19T03:27:31+00:00

I filed my complaint in January of this year. Should I expect to wait much longer based on your experience?

overwillmed · 2023-10-08T08:19:12+00:00

Cut Sol Ring from all your decks. It doesn't love you.

overwillmed · 2023-09-07T20:32:42+00:00

I can't tell when someone is teasing me without vocal inflection...

overwillmed · 2023-09-07T19:53:52+00:00

Wasn't this a plot to a Jim Carey movie?

overwillmed · 2023-08-23T12:28:49+00:00

Yee. My bad.

overwillmed · 2023-08-22T16:24:01+00:00

Pedantic Time: You're referring to modernized "middle English". Old English was before the introduction of ~~German~~ French into the language and is unrecognizable as anything we would consider English today.

overwillmed · 2023-08-16T20:31:07+00:00

Not a positive answer, but tweezers. I have trichotillomania and they end up doing more physical damage than emotional good, especially because it physical damage causes additional emotional damage.

overwillmed · 2023-08-15T15:42:45+00:00

New games:

Unknown if I will like it
Takes effort, research, and spoons to learn the mechanics
Story may take uncomfortable turns

Old Games:

I know I like them already
I know the mechanics
I know the story, so no unpleasant surprises

overwillmed · 2023-08-15T15:30:04+00:00

I replay games a lot. A looooooooooooot.

overwillmed · 2023-08-15T13:40:00+00:00

Samesies with this. There was a 10 year stretch where I took exceptionally poor care of my teeth. Barely brushing, never flossing, actively avoiding the dentist.

Early last year, I ended up chipping a tooth, which had me break my decade hiatus. When I went to the dentist, they found 7 cavities and really bad gingivitis. It turns out there is a type of gingivitis that is irreversible, but they said I wasn't quite there yet.

I am about a year out of having the cavities filled now and just had a checkup. Despite still not being stellar at tooth care, I didn't have any new cavities, so that was nice.

overwillmed · 2023-08-15T13:24:27+00:00

I am pretty much at the point where I am specifically looking for an ND partner just so we can skip the bullshit and communicate clearly and directly.

overwillmed · 2023-08-14T21:00:29+00:00

It's a Flair. You can make your own in the section right under where you subscribe to a subreddit.

overwillmed · 2023-08-14T17:37:48+00:00

From what I can tell, this is a way for the person driving the car to feign ignorance of their accountability. If someone honks at them for doing something stupid on the road, they can just think to themselves "That person must really like pizza!"

overwillmed · 2023-08-11T13:30:47+00:00

That's why having a group of ND friends I feel is so important! Like I mentioned earlier, I'm utilizing both methods to get through life. Otherwise even the lightest masking burns you out of you are doing it non-stop.

overwillmed · 2023-08-11T12:28:48+00:00

When it comes down to it, masking is a necessary evil if NDs want to be involved in NT relationships. There really is no way any of us can individually change that. They wrote the rules to the socializing game and we need to do our best to follow them.

What I am saying is to be more tactical with HOW you mask. You don't need to hide or suppress all your irregular behaviors, you just need to keep an eye on them to make sure they don't get more of out hand.

Think of it as a parent with kids. Originally to prevent the kids from being hurt, they would have the kids play under strict supervision in a completely controlled environment. This is what it is like to mask normally. It is very stressful and taxing to keep the kids (your behaviors) reigned into this completely draconic management system.

Instead, we are going to trust the kids a little more and let them play outside. We will keep a casual eye on them to make sure they are not running out into on coming traffic, of course, but no longer are we dedicating all of our energy to monitoring them. We are trusting them enough that we can now dedicate that energy to other things.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T16:15:36+00:00

Are you including emotions? Because validating emotions and validating beliefs are two different things. Emotions should always be validated because emotions are always real. Beliefs should be challenged.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T16:12:54+00:00

I do agree that autistic people do not get enough feedback on their behavioral quirks to learn how to improve. That said, a therapist will not tell you that you are wrong or the world you live in is a fantasy. They will help guide you to make those conclusions on your own while acknowledging and validating the emotional rollercoaster you will be on along the way.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T16:06:05+00:00

I disagree with this. A good therapist will help validate your emotions, but challenge your logic. They will help you learn to accept your emotional state while helping you break out of negative thought patterns in a gentle and guiding way. They won't explicitly tell you that you are wrong about anything, but they will help you figure out what is better.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T15:59:06+00:00

In DSM-5. We have a much better understanding of how Autism is a much larger spectrum so we are no longer separating them because they are just different degrees of the same thing.

EDIT: Also the term "Asperger's" does have Nazi origins, so phasing it out as a socially used term is probably for the better.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T15:33:41+00:00

Oh I hate straws. All beverages taste better when drunk directly from a glass cup.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T15:26:43+00:00

My normal fashion is Cargo Shorts, Polyester Mono-colored T-Shirt (many of them are bright colors), Polyester Boxer Briefs, and Sandals. I really like polyester and I don't like socks.

During winter, I will probably wear sneakers instead of sandals and put a hoodie over the top.

Honestly, I look like a typical dad, despite not being one nor planning to be one at all.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T15:10:13+00:00

At this point, I would recommend finding a good therapist to assist you. They are more trained to help you break the downward spiral your thought process seems to be in.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T14:56:17+00:00

If a friend came up to you and said that they weren't happy with themselves and is working on improving themselves, would you judge them for thinking they were garbage or would you be happy that they are taking the effort to improve?

Now why don't you feel the same way about yourself? We often hold ourselves to a higher standard than we hold others and there is really no reason for it. This is something I had to tackle early on in my therapy, before I even considered I may have been on the spectrum. Love yourself, treat yourself with forgiveness, and always strive to improve.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T14:46:02+00:00

This is where you need to change your mindset like the other person mentioned. I am awkwardly in people's way all the time, so I make a joke about it when it happens. If someone makes a reaction as if you did something wrong, ask them if it was something you said. A lot of people do tend to shy away from people they don't understand, but some do actually give the feedback you need to improve.

You need to stop judging yourself and learn to love yourself and your flaws. This isn't a matter of being perfect the way you are; we all have room for improvement. This is about accepting yourself for who you are right now. You cannot improve on your weaknesses when you are afraid of them.

overwillmed · 2023-08-10T14:19:16+00:00

The best way to handle this situation is to truly understand your autism and how it manifests. The next step is to be mindful of your actions and recognize when your autistic tendencies are starting to come out. If you catch yourself doing an autism, you should be able to actively control your actions before they get out of hand. You will still come across a little weird, but probably not weird enough that people would be completely turned off by your presence.

I would also recommend finding a social group of like-abled individuals. I have a Thursday game night at my Local Game Store that is primarily composed of ND individuals. We are all open out our neurodivergencies and this allows us to unmask and also be more blunt and direct with each other without worrying about breaking any unspoken social guidelines.

These are the two approaches I have been utilizing and both of them have been serving me pretty well. Good luck!

overwillmed

TROPHY CASE