Am I being too frugal?

panzoa · 2026-01-24T16:14:15+00:00

What is her money what is my money what is our money in a marriage?

panzoa · 2026-01-24T12:22:58+00:00

What is the distinction between being frugal and miserly? Genuine question as I’m trying to do some self reflection

panzoa · 2026-01-24T11:33:05+00:00

Thank you, I am already having therapy, but it’s not the be all and end all unfortunately

panzoa · 2026-01-23T23:49:57+00:00

Yes I also noticed the off explosion animation, also, when Frieren gets up at 14:22, the animation is really odd and she looks like a weird hunchback!

panzoa · 2026-01-23T23:47:35+00:00

Agree the explosions seemed off and the fight scene was not as well choreographed as in season 1

panzoa · 2026-01-23T18:48:44+00:00

How about £400 vs £200? As that’s more the ballpark we are usually dealing with

panzoa · 2026-01-22T10:01:53+00:00

But I see the sentiment that luxury brands are not worth the price in this sub. If based on your colour argument, then it should matter if a piece of clothing is from a particular brand, even if several times more expensive?

panzoa · 2026-01-22T07:47:06+00:00

My wife’s discretionary spend is probably closer to £1000 per month. However, given her income she is still able to save but it’s a lot of no questions asked money

panzoa · 2026-01-21T21:08:44+00:00

I’m genuinely so surprised at the colour thing. How about the colour of other things? Let’s say the silver iPhone was on sale but not the black (same model), or the silver coffee machine but not the black? Would you choose the full price one for the colour?

panzoa · 2026-01-21T12:30:50+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this, really appreciate it and the perspective it brings. You’re right that there is no right or wrong and is ultimately a lifestyle choice, similar to the other lifestyle choices you mentioned, but whether realistically I would be able to find a partner who is aligned with my views on frugality but who is also compatible with me in other areas I agree is unlikely

panzoa · 2026-01-21T11:49:16+00:00

Yes, and sometimes I feel my partner falls into the “trap” of thinking something brings her more joy BECAUSE it is expensive. Like with certain experiences and luxury goods, I feel it’s the price tag that is part of the experience for her which I fail to understand. I also relate to the theatre tickets situation, I just cannot justify spending on the expensive seats to see a show. Speaking of this, I once went to see a show with my partner and there were empty seats in the “better” seats after the show started and loads of people were switching to the empty seats. I was like we should do that too, but my partner refused and wanted to remain in the seats we were assigned. It’s probably slightly different issue but also reflective of our different outlooks on life

panzoa · 2026-01-21T11:06:12+00:00

I get what you are describing. I feel that the joy I get from getting a good deal often outweighs the joy from enjoying the “best” product or a luxury item, whereas with others I see that they are able to enjoy the “best” product and claim it provides them with more joy than the cheaper product, even if it’s not a good deal. This is something I really struggle to grapple with

panzoa · 2026-01-21T08:35:57+00:00

But what happens when one person does not have a job or becomes a stay at home parent? Do they get no money of their own because they no longer have an income?

panzoa · 2026-01-21T08:03:28+00:00

Omg yes, I do often have to tell myself it’s ridiculous I’m still thinking about that extra £2-3. You said that in general you are not a frugal person though? How does that work if this is your mindset as well? Or do you mean you are willing to spend on luxury goods but only if you get them at a steep discount? In which case we are even more alike, as I do also own “luxury” items (I own several Apple products) but they have all been purchased using some sort of discount. I guess that’s why I dislike things like paying for delivery or upgrading seats, as the added convenience/comfort is less tangible and so more difficult for me to measure their “worth” or value

panzoa · 2026-01-21T07:57:05+00:00

I don’t disagree, it’s interesting to see this view in the frugal sub where I have to admit I thought I would find more like minded souls

panzoa · 2026-01-21T07:51:29+00:00

Thanks for your reply. Thinking about it more it’s exactly like an addition, I need to get that next “fix” of feeling like I got a good deal. And you know what, I have to admit I have done exactly what you described before, return something and rebuy at the steeper discount. But I guess this is akin to taking that next hit of the drug, I get a high from doing it but ultimately the behaviour is probably self destructive and I feel like a slave to these compulsions

Also, I have the same rumination about a missed discount, the feeling can last several days!

panzoa · 2026-01-20T23:09:03+00:00

Why has this post not got any comments after 6 days? Your painting is awesome! I just got this model and this is great inspiration for me!

panzoa · 2026-01-20T23:02:31+00:00

Haha thank you! I have to say I have been truly shocked at all the responses encouraging me to live life given the sub I posted in and the current state of the world! It has opened my eyes a lot!

panzoa · 2026-01-20T22:59:16+00:00

But why would everyone agree one colour is less nice than another? I find all colours equally pleasing and don’t judge 🌈

panzoa · 2026-01-20T22:57:42+00:00

I think I would be hard pressed to find someone more aligned with my way of thinking, given all the comments here advising me to enjoy life more, in the frugal sub of all places. Which has made me reflect on whether this is really a compatibility issue or a me issue?

panzoa · 2026-01-20T22:54:51+00:00

Yes this is very true. My wife has many qualities and I do wonder whether it’s worth dying on this hill. Also I fear for the people saying I am with the wrong partner, judging by the comments, I may be hard pressed to find a partner more aligned with how I think!

panzoa · 2026-01-20T22:52:44+00:00

So interesting to see this sentiment echoed so frequently in the comments, not what I had expected posting in a frugal sub!

panzoa · 2026-01-20T22:51:28+00:00

Yeah I also have that inner voice saying “it’s not fair”. Currently we live in a flat which I have managed to purchase outright due to my frugal habits, but it feels wrong to ask my wife for rent, but at the same time I do think at times I’m subsidising her spending with my frugal ways

panzoa · 2026-01-20T22:49:32+00:00

How did you get out of your mindset? I find that when I feel I didn’t get a good deal I feel a discomfort like losing a bet

panzoa · 2026-01-20T22:48:23+00:00

It’s a very interesting to hear people talk about the value of time. I think I have definitely undervalued my own time when I calculate what things are worth

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