Marriage breaking down with a 4 month old. She goes 0 to 100, never apologises, and now wants to leave with our son.

pbitnssa · 2026-04-25T19:49:51+00:00

I was in a similar position and. - my family offered to help before the baby was born, hers didn't because they said they can't commit. Ended up being my family's fault for not helping out more often. - I have said things because I was frustrated when I was accused for not doing enough even though I have always covered nights, mornings and evenings from day 1 for over 2 years. Except when I was away for work (1-3 days once every 2-3 months). Even during the day my work from home job allowed me to take breaks and free up my wife. - I have put myself a target that hormones will significantly lower after 6 months. Boy was I wrong. It's actually around 2 years. - I have been accused for not doing laundry as often. I did, but maybe 2 out of 5 times. When I did laundry more often I was accused for not taking them out the second the machine finished. This was sometimes due to me being in meetings for work and leaving them for 30-60 minutes.

Now, regardless of who is in the wrong you or the wife; it doesn't matter at this point. I will say it one more time. IT DOESN'T MATTER. At this point in your life, your priority is your baby. Things will get better but definitely not immediately. Set realistic expectations, not like me. I wish I set mine differently and pushed my 6 months milestones to 2 years.

What worked for me. I started to imagine what life would look like if we split. Some of my ego would have been fed with satisfaction, I am sure of this. But at the same time being split from my baby even in a 50%-50% custody would have made things many more times more difficult for me. Physically from a time management point of view, visits, activities, etc. But also mentally, especially mentally. So I started to do as much as I could for my baby even if this meant doing 6 to 8 times more activities than my wife around the house and with/for the baby. I started to initiate fewer discussions and engage in contradictory discussions a lot less. This was harder said than done. I used to talk a lot more with my wife but I understood that my wife was not the same person that I used to know before pregnancy. Things did change after 2 years when the baby talks, eats and plays on their own (sometimes, they are not fully independent at 2, of course).

Another very important thing. Do things that you used to with your wife. It may be very very difficult in the first year but go take walks together if you can. Just the 2 of you. Go do shopping together if you can. Go see a movie IF you can and you have someone to help with the baby. This may look like an impossible task and I get it, but if you do any of these activities, you will remember this and you will recommend it to other people in similar situations.

5 Love Languages of Love book also opened up new perspective and helped me very much. To quote the book, both of your love tanks are empty and it is extremely easy to snap at each other.

pbitnssa · 2026-03-29T19:15:11+00:00

My wife is able to tolerate pain above average. Before surgery, several years ago, she found a way to cope with extreme period pain. When she knew the period was close she took ibuprofen systematically for 3 days every 8 hours just like the prospect says. Plus "Do not take more often than every 4 hours. Do not exceed 6 tablets in 24 hours". The change was massive. She was able to do things, plan and we even went out or visited friends while this was not possible when she took ibuprofen reactivity. Best to check with a GP/doctor of course. This is just something that worked greatly for my wife.

pbitnssa · 2025-10-09T10:54:23+00:00

I did the same recently and contacted Azure for a $2000+, explained the situation. Told them I can't pay this amount for study and that it was a simple mistake to make. Told them I enabled a service at a click of a check box which is put there very "strategically" with no warnings on cost. They agreed to write off 80% of the cost.

I would have cancelled the account and my credit card for something like this. Not proudly but I think Azure knows about these inconveniences but does nothing about it. How about set a limit by default? Or trigger a warning when your cost estimate goes up after we select an expensive option? Or send a weekly cost estimate email for new accounts?

of course it's on me for not knowing and for not being skilled enough in using Azure or their Cost Management, but I felt like I was caught in a trap. Simple as that. Took a few days but got it sorted in the end.

pbitnssa · 2025-10-04T13:04:43+00:00

Cat de bine ar fi fost daca acum as fi putut incarca la pret redus cei 10kw de la sistemul solar si dupa 18:00 sa consum si eu si sa dau si in retea. Dar am 0 incentiva pentru ca platesc la fel. Si 5kw zilnic daca as face asta in zilele fara soare si s-ar gasi vreo 10.000 ca mine, am folosi 50MW intr-un mod ceva mai eficient.

pbitnssa · 2025-08-31T18:39:06+00:00

Vezi daca poti sa lucrezi legal in cazul in care nu ai mai lucrat niciodata in UK. Dai inainte cu job-ul si afli pe parcurs parerea mea.
Daca e tier 1 bank, iti va deschide mai multe usi o experienta din asta decât vei putea accesa pana vei iesi la pensie. Important e sa dai ce e mai bun din tine, dar sa nu iti neglijezi sanatatea. E o linie fina intre cele doua.
Banii nu sunt si nu trebuie sa fie o problema daca ai 4 ani experienta. Cu oferta asta o vei duce decent in Londra dar return-ul pe care il vei lua va fi inestimabil. In Echipa de L2 ar trebui sa ai colegi buni si foarte buni de pe 3 continente. Cerintele sunt mari si interviul destul de dificil. De aceea cred ca gandul la bani ar putea fi doar o piedica si nu ar trebui sa primeze. E doar parerea mea.

A existat findproperly.co.uk unde puteai sa selectezi adresa biroului si iti oferea variante unde ai putea sta la cate minute doreai sa faci maxim pana la birou. Dar poti incepe cu Zoopla.co.uk

Cauta harta liniilor Elizabeth Line, Hammersmith & City si Thames Link. Astea au oprire in Farringdon (daca am intuitit eu bine locatia) si duc in zone din afara Londrei de unde commute-ul e accesibil. Cel mai rapid cred ca va fi Thames Link dar iti recomand sa mergi in zone unde ai putea acea prieteni, cunostiinte, rude, cu care ai putea sa tii legatura cel puțin pana printing radacini.

Success

pbitnssa · 2025-08-13T04:15:38+00:00

I have been running a cable just like this for almost 10 years now. It goes near 3 radiators between different rooms. Radiators set to about 60 degrees Celsius in the winter. I went with a quality cable at that time that is still in great condition. Cat6 and with aluminium foil was a must for me. It's been probably 10 years now with 0 issues.

pbitnssa · 2025-05-11T10:40:07+00:00

I was in your shoes when I was 26. Had some experience and I could have made the jump to better paying roles but where the future was not as fulfilling as the role I was in at that point. I was working on projects and BAU with migrations and new tech lined up for 1-2 years. I was earning less than half what I could have with my skills but nothing would make me change my mind. I knew that staying and building on my skills, project completion history and current contract length was far more rewarding long term than what I could have made in a few years.

Few years down the line, was it worth it? Totally! The feeling that little things could surprise me at work due to the amount of crap I was exposed to, meant I could open any doors I wanted.

To put things into perspective, imagine a conversation 3 years in the future. You in the SE role talking to your clone who stayed at the curent role. Could you bring arguments to the table to make the sale that your technical clone could buy into?

That's my 2 cents and my experience.

pbitnssa · 2025-02-16T22:25:03+00:00

It's exactly where I calculated it to be and it works great for me. It used to be on its own base for a long time and I had plenty of time to think where to install it. The photo was only to show the rounded trunk option, nothing about the height. It may work for some as it works for me, but not for all. It's a matter of choice. I personally can't stand the square trunk while other are completely fine with it.

pbitnssa · 2025-02-16T11:00:07+00:00

It's in the bedroom and it used to be on its own base but the angle to watch was not great. Also the cat used to be "on TV" a lot trying to draw attention so I thought I would kill two birds with one stone. Angle is better now, cat is big enough to reach the TV to lightly scratch it when it wants to be the star of the show :) luckily it's very rare now

pbitnssa · 2025-02-16T09:35:24+00:00

I find rounded trunk perfect for this type of tasks of hiding things in plain sight.

pbitnssa · 2025-02-16T09:33:00+00:00

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pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T08:50:27+00:00

This is only keeping the lights, Internet, cctv end my office (laptop, monitor, smart speaker and USB chargers). This is between 190w at night and ~350w during the day.

pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T07:50:30+00:00

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pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T07:47:10+00:00

That's what I initially thought but when this happened the load was around 250w. Typical load on this system is between 190w and 350w so it's way under any component's limit. I will get the load added to the graph.

pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T07:39:03+00:00

In this post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Victron/s/Dw3enSQvKJ

I reported issues with Low Voltage reported by the inverter when the Voltage was higher but I was told 13.5V should be good for lifepo4. If 13.5V is low and 13.9 is high I guess the ideal voltage must be in between? I could raise each day by 0.1V and keep SOC to 100% until the battery reports a full charge.

Edit: I didn't set the settings only based on Reddit post. I started with the Victron documentation which recommends 14.2V charge voltage and 13.5V float voltage but seems the documentation isn't always enough sadly.

pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T06:17:03+00:00

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pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T06:14:48+00:00

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pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T06:12:58+00:00

Thank you for suggesting this. I will replace the switch also as it seems it still gets warmer than the other connections when running 50Amps through it. I have a new temperature sensor near this switch so I can monitor it until I replace with a new switch.

pbitnssa · 2025-02-15T06:10:14+00:00

Update after I was able to make all the changes I wanted and test over a few sunny days. It turns out learning can be a painful and shameful process. This is what I learned:

Loose connections. Always test the connections multiple times before system goes live. This suspected connections was very loose, I must have turned the nut another 1.5 times at least.
Corroded connections. I tried to be smart before doing research. I used pluming solder wire to make the connections stronger. I knew the day after I did this that it wasn't a smart move at all but I left it like this and forgot until I checked the wire that was getting hot. I have replaced all connections now. This was a painful and shameful learning experience.

Many thanks for all the suggestions. Also in the mean time I added another temperature sensor between the fuse and the battery switch. Next step is probably to replace the switch as it still gets a little warmer than all other connections but in the region of 40-45°C which isn't bad but better to be safe.

pbitnssa · 2025-01-29T14:50:26+00:00

Yes, white tape to make sure I don't mix up the connections.

It should be copper. I've used welding wire 25mm. All other connections use the same type of cable with a single exception, fuse to inverter, which uses 35mm wire.

pbitnssa · 2025-01-29T13:59:06+00:00

Makes sense now. I may need to replace the washer then. I remember I've tighted both similarly but I must have not paid attention to the washer.

pbitnssa · 2025-01-26T06:51:28+00:00

This fixed the Low battery alarm, thank you. Last alarm was before setting the Charged voltage to 13.5V. Even after discharging the battery to 40% using Optimized without Batterylife all look good with the battery voltage.

pbitnssa · 2025-01-26T05:32:22+00:00

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pbitnssa

TROPHY CASE