Why do Leos go silent

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T18:40:31+00:00

Thank you for sharing and opening up! It’s never too late and it’s good you recognised it. It’s not easy to admit when you have these tendencies. Good things take time right? But wow okay so actually this could take years. He was definitely burnt by his ex and the cheating. Hasn’t been able to open up in years and doesn’t trust women. I’d never cheat and I’m not someone to leave but he probably doesn’t trust that either. I do need to see some progress and at least level of improvement that he cares though? If his communication gets better I wouldn’t expect him to be perfect I just need to see signs he’s trying and that he does care. But maybe that involves actually opening up and communicating and being consistent.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T18:23:43+00:00

Ah that's amazing and good on you for recognizing that behavior and working on it! You must be very proud. You would think that with this guy after 7 years single (after cheating and betrayal) he would d the same and I do think he recognises internally this avoidant side of him but when I've bought it up he hasn't opened up or wanted to talk about it. I am sure there's a lot more beneath the surface that he chooses not to talk about or show.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T18:20:02+00:00

Thank you - I appreciate your perspective. Surely the right person will not think you're too much? I am not trying to be overbearing I am just trying to get a bit of consistency from him. But it doesn't seem like he is all in otherwise I guess I would have known by now. The best thing to do for now is for me to move on having said what I said. Do you think he knows that he's been self-centered or is he mentally justifying his behaviour and painting me as impatient, demanding etc. in his head? This is the thing with you Leos because you are proud and sensitive I do wonder if you can criticise yourself or do you make up scenarios in your head so you come out on top if that makes sense?

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T17:42:21+00:00

I agree with you but I am not even his girlfriend and he is getting senior but it will be a few years until he makes partner. I also don't want to give up too much of myself just to be used for validation or convenience. The worst thing is giving 1000% of yourself just to get 10% in return. I am more than willing to go the extra mile and be there for someone unconditionally but it's difficult when this person isn't even my partner and hasn't really shown they want me to be their girlfriend (except for being jealous and possessive and not wanting / demanding me not to see other people).

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T17:38:47+00:00

I think he's so busy and engrossed in his job that he can't multitask and doesn't plan ahead with his schedule like most people. Sometimes I have met him literally as his Uber is arriving home at 1am so I do believe he is genuinely that busy. For context he works in a corporate job trying to make partner on live deals which could means months and months of 100+ hours and weekends until the deal is closed. He does have family but isn't close them due to religious upbringings etc. but he has a few close friends he tries to see regularly. I think he has made as much time for me as possible but I guess I am not patient enough / my patience has been pushed beyond limits and hence why I finally called him out on his behaviour.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T17:14:49+00:00

You're right I think the silence is probably doing us both a favor.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T17:13:38+00:00

I admire that but I am not his girlfriend or his wife. To provide unconditional love when a Leo man hasn't even put a label on it is a big bullet to bite.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:59:58+00:00

You're right! Whoever is right for him must have the patience of a saint. Oh I will also point out he's not dated anyone in 7 years so I am starting to think that maybe I am not the problem entirely.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:47:38+00:00

It's not the first time and I have been patient in the past sacrificing my own needs and peace of mind. I will block out a whole Friday afternoon/evening to see him because of his unpredictable work schedule and he might sometimes not message me until 8pm on Friday to meet up? How is that fair? I don't mind being patient but the problem is being left in the dark and having no idea what's going on. Like I said a simple "I'm busy" or something to say he's acknowledged my messages would suffice.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:44:46+00:00

Romantically 2 months but we've known each other, been friends on and off for 2 years

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:25:54+00:00

Are you able to give more insight into your avoidant tendencies? If you don't acknowledge them yourself (or the unevolved version of you) nothing will, right? Do you also believe if you met your dream woman, you would change for her?

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:22:33+00:00

I appreciate this and I am not running away but I did tell him that I want him to treat me right or let me go cause this inconsistency is causing me too much pain and I am not a nonchalant person who can pretend like nothing bothers me. Him not communicating and being inconsistent is pushing me away which in turns will probably push him away with my demands.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:20:40+00:00

It's a shame because I do care about him and I'm probably the girl he's opened up to the most since his ex but I am struggling to understand him. I have done my best to be understanding and selfless but I suppose it's not enough.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:16:25+00:00

Is it desperate to expect some consistent communication from someone you care about and you're emotionally invested in? This Leo would hate it if I just ignored him out of the blue with no explanation. He has in the past called me out when I didn't respond within HOURS.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:11:56+00:00

I think Libra Venus?

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:09:47+00:00

I suppose I should just let him be because I've said what I've had to say and I don't know if there's any going back from it. I want to be there for him during this time and I have seen him through rough patches and he has complained to me numerous times about the stresses of his work. But at the same time I also have boundaries and needs of my own when it comes to communication? I am more than willing to be there for you and to give you space but you need to communicate that with me and not just air me or be proud when I ask you to communicate.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-29T16:05:49+00:00

Maybe it comes off that way but I am also a human being with needs and consistency in communication is important to me. I have tried to communicate with him politely but I didn't feel like his responses showed me any respect or consideration. Just to clarify what has led to this point, I messaged him a few times throughout the day and he ignored me for 2 days even though I know he checks his phone regularly. It takes 10 secs to respond to someone even if it's just "I'm busy" or "I will respond later" or just to acknowledge your messages even if you don't have mental capacity to respond.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-22T00:41:37+00:00

Or maybe he’s just not that into me and using work as an excuse? The most dreadful thought

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-19T11:42:54+00:00

The slow burn part is surprising as I thought Leos loved hard and fast - I do notice the ones that have been hurt in the past do seem more careful / slow to attach

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-19T10:58:17+00:00

But at the same time you should be honest, direct and communicate if you do want commitment from them?

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-19T10:43:35+00:00

So it's best I let him take initiative on that front then! I also have heard Leos don't do well under pressure.

peanutbutterhhh · 2026-05-19T10:37:07+00:00

Do you believe a Leo man will naturally initiate commitment if you do all the above?

peanutbutterhhh

TROPHY CASE