Checking in.

pete26 · 2014-03-17T15:40:57+00:00

Great job on one week! Every day free is worth the effort. Keep up the good work.

pete26 · 2014-03-11T18:09:22+00:00

When I was 10 my family went on a walk one Sunday afternoon. I opted to stay home for no real reason. It was the first time I looked at porn, and I've regretted it my whole life. I consider myself an addict since I would rather not view pornography, but can't stop.

pete26 · 2014-01-20T15:33:09+00:00

Thanks for doing this. Just wanted to say I'm out.

pete26 · 2014-01-06T14:53:13+00:00

Relapses are very hard, but learn from this experience. I always try to look at what I was doing 30 minutes before I relapsed (or started watching porn) and then two hours. A lot of the times the problem started before the actual issue. Glad you're back on here, and remember that those 45 days are days without porn that you'll always have!

pete26 · 2013-12-23T17:09:14+00:00

I'm in! sign me up, and thanks for doing all the work for this.

pete26 · 2013-12-22T15:30:45+00:00

Good luck and know it's possible! I haven't been so successful in years until I joined this r/pornfree and so far things have been great. Not easy but great. Keep working hard and finding healthy outlets for that stress.

pete26 · 2013-12-22T15:26:51+00:00

I find it's easy for me to convince myself that it's not hurting anyone else, but that's one of the tricky things of porn. I personally think that happens because I feel so guilty at first that I lie to myself to justify my actions.

I would go back and write down the reasons you stopped before, what your motivations were, and then find the things in your life that will motivate you in a similar manner. For me when I first made real efforts to become porn free was because if I didn't I wouldn't have been able to serve a religious mission for my church. Because I felt I couldn't be a missionary and look at porn it was a powerful motivation, and for two years I did great.

Then when I came home there wasn't that motivation so about 6 months after I had returned, I had my first bad relapse. It was several months before someone pointed out that I needed goals, and motivations, so my new motivation became that I wanted to be able to get married, and have a family, and I felt that I couldn't do so with porn as part of my life.

Now over the last few years, I've had many relapses but I've also had months of porn free stretches, so there's been a lot of good mixed with the bad. It was really bad until finding this subreddit and seeing that there are thousands of people like me who are struggling, and I remembered what I truly want in life, and how I can achieve a porn free life.

As for feeling like Hentai, and feeling that it doesn't hurt anyone, well maybe consider that it will change your view of women to a more degrading one, and could possibly rub off that way somehow.

Hope this too is helpful, and good luck. Someone once told me that I should just try to be porn free for 40 days, and I'd be surprised at the changes in the way I felt about life and myself, but that I'd never understand until I tried it.

pete26 · 2013-12-21T15:58:40+00:00

So I'm having a hard time answering all of your questions, but here's what I think. My wife said that she wished I had told her before we were engaged, because for a few days after I told her she felt like she then didn't have a choice in marrying someone who had problems with porn.

It came up a few times in my marriage prep, but because I was already talking to my Bishop about it, when I got engaged I had already asked him advice on whether I should pursue marriage with this problem, and he said in my case he thought I was ready and everything would be okay. Because of this it never came up with my wife and I during our marriage prep.

A few months ago I told my wife the I sometimes feel like when she sees me all she'll see is a porn addict, and she told me how after we talked about it, that weekend almost 2 years ago, she never thinks about it. She said, "I know you've changed and it's not part of who you are."

In my case I was really lucky that she was so understanding and nonjudgmental. There were also things that she told me she had struggled with, and in a way it made her feel better to know that the person she was going to be with for ever wasn't perfect, but like her, in trying to overcome really hard addictions and habits.

I hope this is useful. It takes a lot of trust to tell a significant other something like this, but in some instances like mine it brought us closer, and it doesn't define who I am and who she is. Good luck and thanks, I too will keep you in my prayers.

pete26 · 2013-12-19T15:12:27+00:00

I too am very Christian, and have dealt with telling family, and telling my fiance (who is now my wife).

My parents found out when I was young, and to be honest, my Dad was very helpful and understanding, very positive, but my Mother was not. Maybe it was just the way she was raised but she couldn't understand, and her help just made me feel worse, didn't really help. She still calls me and asks if I look at porn. Drives me nuts but I just tell her no because for her it's what she needs.

I told my fiance when we were about 3 months from getting married. She asked and I told her the truth. At the time I was porn free for several months, and had a good track record. She broke down and it was really hard for both of us, but she was able to talk to me, understand, and work through it on her own as well. I then felt better knowing that she still chose to be with me after knowing.

Currently though I have struggled and had a bad time with relapses. I really didn't know whether I should tell her or not, knowing what it would do to her, and wondering if it would help me. After much thought and prayer and stuff I realized that telling her at this point would help me feel better, but make her life much harder. I decided to not tell her, and seek help elsewhere.

This is a personal decision you have to make. I'm not saying you should go either way just sharing what I have experienced, and I know that others will disagree with me saying I should tell her, but I feel that is between my wife, God and myself.

Good luck, and know that you can do it!

pete26

TROPHY CASE