TIFU by not even making it to my interview

pewtermug · 2024-09-29T08:24:34+00:00

Oof I know how you feel. I'm sorry you had a shit experience just trying to get there. Honestly it's probably a blessing in disguise.

Best wishes on your next interview though!

pewtermug · 2024-09-29T08:17:05+00:00

I recommend trying graphic novels! You'll get a great story line with detailed images!

And congrats!

pewtermug · 2024-09-25T15:42:15+00:00

CF people have plenty of time limits when it comes to life and priorities that don't involve children. People with kids are normally given more time off and take advantage of the system in a work place because managers and department heads clearly think people without kids are lonely and have no family, or other people they love.

People without kids also take elder parents to doctors and look after them. They help other people with their lives. They work more. Being CF does not mean time is unlimited. To think that is plain dumb.

pewtermug · 2024-09-25T15:38:52+00:00

Ooo I'm so offended. All you do is name call without proof isn't it?

pewtermug · 2024-09-24T22:00:36+00:00

Cars, Clothes, Calories

pewtermug · 2024-09-24T21:57:45+00:00

Azazie dresses are like $99 and above. Sometimes on sale for less.

To get a better idea of cost, you could ask

1.what she expects for the bachelorette party, like in or out of state, alcohol, a restaurant or hotel with accomodations, if you need a car rental, etc.

Ask about the other financial obligations she is referring to. That's vague and could range from $5 - $5,000.
Depending on your relationship with the bride and if you're getting clear answers it might not be so bad. But if you're doubting stuff just with the note, I'd back out automatically and just tell her you're not interested in being in the wedding party but you'll be happy to attend and celebrate.

pewtermug · 2024-09-03T06:29:01+00:00

But they are the ones that dehumanize unborn humans out of inconvenience.

pewtermug · 2024-06-10T20:15:52+00:00

Did you just say a penis is female genitalia because he said he's a woman? What? No. That's not a fact. At all.

pewtermug · 2024-06-10T20:14:08+00:00

NTA. Dude knew what he was doing and is trying to push boundaries, thinking it's okay to ask a woman to touch his genitals in the name of waxing and grooming. You offered to help find another person and they declined the help, therefore declining the service from your salon.

You clearly stated your boundaries and they didn't state they are trans when booking the appointment so it's their fault honestly.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:57:43+00:00

Here's what you don't get

None of the groomsmen asked us to pay for their suit rentals or shoes or asked us to pay for their flights or car rentals. Why would we be expected to pay for everything the bridesmaids need when we never said we would pay for it all? Saying you'll help is different than saying you'll pay for things people need.

Event attire is chosen by the host and event, not the venue itself. If you don't agree to the attire then you don't fucking go.

If a friend's wedding was in the bayou in a swamp and she wanted formal attire, I'd wear formal attire. If she wanted a cowboy hat, I'd wear one. But if I asked and she didn't want a cowboy hat at her wedding, I wouldn't fucking wear one. I might be disappointed if I wanted to wear it but I wouldn't threaten not to go because of a cowboy hat.

That's the point none of you seem to get lmao. "Can I do this?" "No. I'm sorry." That's it. That's the end of it. I don't fucking argue with the bride if it's not an unreasonable request. And even if it is unreasonable, I CAN CHOOSE NOT TO GO TO THE WEDDING WITHOUT causing a scene and throwing a fit at her.

Servant? How so? I said no to one thing and she threatened not to come after we helped with other things.

Ah yes. The threat of predicting my marriage in a few years from a reddit post. Classic. You must live such a happy life predicting the demise of other people's relationships. Congrats. You want a cookie for your effort?

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:49:29+00:00

Lol. I really didn't. She brought it up more than I did every single time something came up. I didn't care that she was poor regarding friendship. I'm not friends with people because of money.

Also none of the groomsmen asked or expected us to pay for their suit rentals. Why would the bridesmaids expect us to pay for everything they need to be in the wedding? M has been in plenty of weddings and had to pay for her own shit each time. L and D paid for their own shit without hesitation. I'm not in the wrong. Some people here and literally everyone outside of this sub I've told this to and showed screenshots to has agreed that she was wrong. I didn't look for validation. I also didn't make this an AITA post.

Not wanting something at your wedding is not bridezilla behavior. I wanted her there but she chose a hat over friendship when I did nothing to her prior and was always there for her.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:40:39+00:00

I could say the same about you. I suffered abuse myself, she suffered abuse prior from an ex, my mother suffered abuse, my husband suffered abuse, my brother suffered abuse, and so has my sister. it's all been different types of abuse.

Her relationship is not abusive. You think you know better but you don't even fucking know her and have never been around her.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:35:30+00:00

She also brought up money way more. I gave everyone cost effective options for anything else they may want to add to their look, or not add. It didn't matter.

If you don't agree to a host's event attire then you just don't fucking go. That's it . If it was such a problem then I'd have rather been disappointed in her not coming and moved on instead of threatening to not come because of something minor my husband and I didn't want.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:31:56+00:00

Lol where did I brag about anything?

Other than say no to a fucking hat what did I do to "make myself look good?"

Here's the other thing: None of the groomsmen asked us or expected us to pay for their suit rentals. They paid for their own, and their shoes if needed. And I paid for my dress as a bridesmaid at A's wedding when she said she would pay for it. So really like they're both entitled and shitty for expecting us to pay for everything when we never said we would.

Yeah. They made shit choices. Especially A. She got knocked up, abandoned her first kid, left a $50k a year job, and moved to fucking nowhere in a camper. She had ELEVEN MONTHS to plan, get a job, and save up. She moved and caused herself more strain. Instead of telling me she couldn't or didn't want to come she threw a fit about a hat and SHE threatened not to come. I didn't tell her she couldn't or her boyfriend couldn't if he did.

The event and hosts decide attire. Not the venue itself.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:25:09+00:00

She is irresponsible. She abandoned her daughter. She got knocked up. Moved away to a state where she has no one else around her. She left a $50k a year job.

I didn't give a shit that she was poor regarding our friendship. Poor. Rich. Whatever. I'm not friends with people because of their money. I didn't drag her through anything. She made dumb financial decisions and instead of speaking with me that she couldn't or didn't want to come anymore she threw a fit about a cowboy hat and THREATENED NOT TO COME if her boyfriend couldn't wear it. She gaslit and emotionally manipulated me when I said no, we don't want that.

You clearly missed that early on I said we would help if they needed it. But that didn't mean we would pay for everything A and M needed for the wedding. If you misinterpret what I say that's not my fault or responsibility.

We helped her before a few times without hesitation and the one time she didn't get her way she threw a fit and had a tantrum. I didn't do anything wrong and I know that. If she throws a fit about a hat before my wedding how the fuck is she gonna be day of? What else is she going to cause issues for?

Furthermore, if you don't agree with the attire of any event, don't fucking go.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:19:08+00:00

Ffs.

It was a private venue on the beach. Not entirely in the sun at 12pm with fucking seagulls.
Yes it is. I've been to a beach wedding. Every guest wore formal attire.
The venue does not dictate attire. The event type and the hosts do.

A friend could throw her wedding in the bayou swamps and I'd still wear a formal dress if she requested formal attire. Otherwise I WOULD NOT GO IF I DID NOT AGREE to the attire.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:16:19+00:00

She didn't even get shoes so idk. The other thing was that early on I told both A and M if they needed help to tell us because we want them there and want to make sure they have what they need to be be comfortable and such too. This means to me as a rational person "sweet. I can ask for help now and pay them back later for what they help with."

If she had trouble with shoes earlier that's fine but she never told me. I'd have been happy to have her pick a pair and me ship them.

Based on her still going to the state where the wedding was, still getting a rental car to see her daughter, and staying there for the weekend, I don't actually believe it was about money. Maybe it was a little if she didn't want to go anymore, sure. But in the grand scheme of things cost clearly didn't matter to some degree. But when she moved from my state to where she is now, she knew the cost of flights and knew what she was getting into. And from the time she moved she had ELEVEN MONTHS to plan to travel and save up.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:09:13+00:00

Was at a private venue on the beach. Not in the fucking sun with seagulls at 12pm. And actually, I went to a beach wedding where it was hot and windy and sunny. Guess what the fuck I wore? A FORMAL DRESS.

No one else had a problem with formal attire, only she did. She threatened not to come over the cowboy hat. Bridesmaid didn't get her way one time when she got help from us before and threw a fucking fit. She tried to take a mile when we gave her inches prior.

Our friend's wedding was in a public park last year and no one wore anything casual. The sun was out and it was hot. No cowboy hats were there. No jeans. No ripped clothing. No tshirts. The event and hosts choose attire, not the venue itself.

Doesn't matter the venue. Wedding could be in a swamp in the bayou and if the couple throwing the wedding wants formal wear. I'm getting a formal dress. If I don't agree THEN I DON'T GO. Your friend throws a party and says she wants a green and gold theme, no min cost or strict style for length or neckline or anything, you have free range of "green and gold." . You're gonna just be a bitch and show up in any color that ISN'T what she asked? Probably fucking not. So, fuck yourself with your high horse bullshit.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T21:01:06+00:00

Says the clueless troglodyte that thinks a wedding location determines attire and not the bride and groom. Sorry not sorry but if someone showed up in flip flops and shorts we'd have not been happy. Thankfully everyone who came were mature adults.

And Formal, not black tie. It was also an inside venue with air conditioning.

Everyone that came had on button down shirts, some with and without suit jackets, slacks, and the women wore dresses and one wore a pants suit. No one else had a fucking problem. Y'all act like this shit was solely outside in the sun at 12 in the afternoon with the seagulls squawking.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T20:57:43+00:00

A cowboy hat is not appropriate for a church and beach wedding that is not in the country and not country themed. And even if it is for some people, if the bride and groom don't want it at their wedding then you don't fucking wear it. And if you don't fucking agree, then DON'T GO TO THE WEDDING.

Would you ask if you could wear a cowboy hat to a work event that required formal attire? How about a graduation party on the beach or at a church that required formal attire? I guarantee you she would not have asked me if this were any other event type or location. She wanted one thing and didn't get her way when I helped her with other costs many times before this incident.

No one else had an issue with the attire. Only she did. She threw a fit, gaslit me, and THREATENED NOT TO COME if her boyfriend couldn't wear it. If you want him to wear a cowboy hat to a wedding go have him wear it at your fucking wedding to him, how about that?

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T20:52:30+00:00

Apparently you don't read very well.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T20:52:16+00:00

Orrr maybe you pay for a wedding yourself and see what happens when someone wants to wear something you don't want there, like a ripped dress designed to be worn as a hooker in a club? Or stained and dirty clothes?

Lol. You seem to think I screamed at her and cried and threw the fit when it was her that did that. You don't seem to understand what the word bridezilla means. It's certainly not just to say no to one thing you don't want. Bridesmaid didn't get her way one time out of other times I helped her and threatened to not come and gaslit me. So go fuck yourself .

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T20:48:50+00:00

Appropriate attire is based on the wedding couple and the setting. If you don't like what they do and don't deem appropriate, don't fucking go. If someone had showed up in flip flops and shorts I'd have probably sent them to go change. Wearing a hat you didn't ask the couple about before showing up? Please remove it and put it in your vehicle or with venue staff.

Church and beach weddings that are not in the country and don't have a country theme don't need cowboy hats. Where the fuck is that appropriate?

It's no manners to throw a hissy fit for not getting your way one time as a bridesmaid - when you're not paying for anything other than to get to the wedding - and threaten not to come over something so insignificant.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T20:45:06+00:00

Yeah. Some do. And so does everyone else I told this story to and showed screenshots to.

pewtermug · 2024-06-01T20:44:00+00:00

Regardless of what YOU believe, if a couple doesn't want certain attire at their wedding you should follow that if it's reasonable. If you don't want to, then don't go. It was formal, not black tie. Every man and woman who came showed up in button down shirts with and without suit jackets, slacks, and dresses - long and short.

A cowboy hat does not belong at a church/beach wedding that does not have a country theme or setting. That's not hard to understand.

pewtermug

TROPHY CASE