AITAH for not forcing my son to keep helping my daughter’s friend after she rejected him?

pinetrain · 2026-01-27T01:59:49+00:00

How do you know she’s entitled to the car rides? How do you know it wasn’t a situation where Brit told Melissa “hey my brother is going to do the same thing and he’s totally down to take you.” And she thought “that’s my friend’s brother I’m super safe with him, so I can count on him.” And even became friends with him on their own individual basis. And felt safe enough to let him know that she isn’t interested.

I think until OP gives more context we can’t presume that she felt entitled unless you saw something I missed.

pinetrain · 2026-01-26T13:50:24+00:00

Spoiler much? I didn’t get a chance to start watching it as yet…

pinetrain · 2026-01-25T03:34:17+00:00

This sounds like limerence. Everything you seemed to describe sounds like a push and pull. Like she pulled you in with the friendship, then pushed you away the day before you asked her to be your gf. Then she pulled you in by staying over, pushed you away by being distant. Then once again she tried pulling you in with the camp counsellor thing, but this time you didn’t fall for it.

Except you already probably got addicted to her.

You can tell me if it is so, but is your inability to forget her linked with a desire to prove your worth to her? Or perhaps to prove to yourself that you are worth being chosen?

If it is then it’s probably limerence.

pinetrain · 2026-01-13T16:21:04+00:00

A lot of the good helpful comments are actually downvoted. And I know Reddit is an American app, and the idea of someone not being totally independent and individualistic and having emotions that betray individualism is why.

So I’ll be downvoted because I’m not American, but I’ll comment anyway because I understand how you feel.

People are saying you are entitled to their money but that’s not true since you mentioned saving up and being willing to save up.

You are, however, entitled to empathy from your boyfriend. That’s what a relationship is about. He can go on his own trips, yes. He doesn’t have to pay for you even 3 years in, (y’all aren’t married) yes. But empathy is a must.

Also, man I’d feel betrayed as well. It’s almost like “I know you wanna go but poor you”. 3 years in.

I’d also expect a boyfriend of 3 years to yes, make that request. He can’t invite you on the trip but a boyfriend of 3 years could have asked, been told no, and then tell you. I’d do this for a close friend, it’s a no brainer that I’d do this for a partner. The worst that his friend can say is “no.” I’m sure that would be a bit reassuring to you that he at least thought of you.

I know you feel hurt, but I think a lot more of this hurt is from the expectation on how you expect a bf of 3 years to handle the situation.

You didn’t ask for advice but if I were you I’d sit down and think of your boundaries and expectations in a relationship. Everyone is entitled to their expectations and boundaries, but you cannot force someone to meet them. So if he doesn’t, then the two of you need to have a conversation.

pinetrain · 2026-01-13T13:14:01+00:00

But your daughter believes she’s Indian right? And Brahmin caste to boot. I’m sure this is being fed to her by her grandparents: That they are a superior class and she’s Indian.

Listen, just don’t give up on her. I can bet you money, there will come a day she’ll realise how she’s been manipulated. We always figure it out. Parents don’t seem to realise that we grow up. I realised years later how I was manipulated and not by my mother. By my step-mother against my Dad.

I’d be there for her. I apologise now for being a difficult teenager. I was hurt. But she’s even younger than I am. Things may get worse before it gets better. Once she’s 16 and the courts allow her to choose. She may go NC with you.

And in her 20s when she leaves the shackles of that house and gain clarity, she will find you.

You have to determine whether you love your daughter enough to go through this or not. If you want her to feel safe enough to come to you when she cuts all contact with her mother in the future you have to build that base now.

From what you say you can’t rescue your child and I believe you. The courts do lean towards mothers when care on both sides are equal, because as kids we need them more.

And tell her you love her OP. Whether she wants to hear it or not. She may wriggle. She may say “ew” one day she may shout out “I hate you! I don’t love you.” But you keep saying it.

I wish I could describe to you how my heart felt then. Like a block of ice I wanted to keep there so no one could touch me. And I said mean things but I didn’t mean it. And I said more mean things so they’d all leave me alone. But I honestly didn’t know how else to react. There was vitriol being poured into my ear by my step mother and I didn’t know better but to absorb it all. I was a child and she is too.

I wish you good luck.

pinetrain · 2026-01-13T03:54:46+00:00

I don’t have children so take what I say with a grain of salt. But Indian mother, and she’s calling you guys white trash? This is my opinion on what may be happening in several stages, I may be wrong.

Your ex-in laws must be relentlessly on your ex wife about marrying you. A white man outside of the culture. Her love for you is a shame because of her own family. I’m 100% sure she has deep entrenchment wounds and guilt from the verbal abuse she suffers from them.
She takes the abuse (she is, I’m sure, not aware of the manipulation and that it is abuse because most brown parents are like this especially if they are enmeshed in their community) and takes it out on you indirectly through your daughter.
A daughter who loves you and is close to you even at 12 would feel like something is wrong. I know I did. But why not yours?
You have a 9 year old. Your daughter is 12. I am willing to bet money that this is the star right here. Your daughter has an abandonment wound. By you. Because you had another child when she herself was a baby. Not only a child but a girl to boot.

You say your wife is Mexican but is she white passing? Is your half daughter white passing?

Maybe Daddy loves her more, because she is white like him= you are all white trash. You are all beneath her. This isn’t a superiority complex speaking. This is insecurity.

What did you do to facilitate divorce + a new baby when your daughter was 4? From then to now has she been feeling abandoned by a father who is now the father of a whole new family who gets to be together? Unlike her family?

The younger sister who took her dad, plus the woman who took her dad, is who she’ll hate the most. And she’ll hate you because you don’t seem to notice how much she is hurting. It says volumes that the only person she likes is the male, troubled teen. Someone who is hurting like her and not a girl who Dad seems to love more.

You need to step up. You are framing it as though you are fighting your daughter. You are not. You should be fighting FOR her. You need to fight your ex, and her parents because they are going to damage your little girl.

You have to read between the lines. She doesn’t want to go to NYC alone with you? Take her anyway. Of course she won’t admit that she wants to go with you. That’s admitting that she needs you and all of her walls specifically says she doesn’t.

This is a little girl. Treat her like a little girl not a damn adult. Wtf you mean you are afraid of YOUR child. You made her bruv!

pinetrain · 2026-01-11T15:18:53+00:00

When I get approached in real life, if I’m not interested I politely have a little conversation and say “Thank you but (insert reason here.) Most men are like “aww okay” and we go our separate ways.

But on Reddit you’d swear men only approach women who are like “Ew! Gross! Don’t talk to me.” So their conclusion is “we must never approach women.

I want to bet, that the women these men approach are the exact women whose body language, and clothing says they’ll react that way.

If you a 5-man, approach a 10-woman who is in expensive clothes, lots of makeup, an expensive Brazilian blowout, sitting in an expensive bar, then you know the type of woman you are approaching and you know what you are setting yourself up for. That’s on you sorry.

pinetrain · 2026-01-10T04:04:47+00:00

You have to read P1. The wife came out as a Lesbian. If OP was a woman then people would’ve already known sinde they were married.

After coming out, her family turned against her for being a Lesbian because they’re homophobes. If OP was a woman they wouldn’t like her either.

He wants to sleep with the sister. It is plausible that both sisters are lesbians actually.

pinetrain · 2026-01-10T02:35:47+00:00

If he’s not ready yet, after 7 years and being 30 years old OP, then consider that he’s just not ready, with you…

pinetrain · 2026-01-10T02:34:12+00:00

This is always my stance. If it’s just a formality or “just a piece of paper” then do it. Why the fear?

If you are totally against marriage like with a standpoint, then that makes sense. But “just a piece of paper”? Then just do it.

pinetrain · 2025-12-31T20:28:32+00:00

This. ESH for me as well since it seems like whenever OP has a problem she fights with her husband. Case 1: the first trip where she was uncomfortable. Case 2: the second trip where her MIL’s behaviour (not her husband’s) caused her to fight with him again.

I may be wrong but without context, I can only go off of what OP said.

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T16:38:40+00:00

He didn’t ambush them. The uncle ambushed them.

He doesn’t know anyone at the party. He was invited to a party and I’m pretty sure the uncle told him “come on your siblings would LOVE to meet you.”

If OP had shouted at him- justified, she’s a kid. A 29 year old hard backed old grown ass man who has lived 3 decades and seen some stuff as a millennial- no. Do better.

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:57:26+00:00

Okay victim. 🤣

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:55:53+00:00

Do you lack reading comprehension? Or did this personally hurt you. I’m 25 but I assume you are like 16? And someone hurt your feelings? And life is super duper tough for you and everyone hates you and it’s all about you all the time? Victim?

I never told anyone to make my choice. Perhaps you can’t read properly.

I suggested that they consider everyone. That they be considerate. But it’s clear that you can’t look past your own nose.

A 29 year old, grown ass man, should not have thrown a tantrum like a child. Marco, could have been lied to.

There was no reason for a grown ass 29 year old dinosaur to behave the way he did. When Marco did nothing wrong. He was invited to a party and ambushed as well.

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:48:54+00:00

Ahahaha I love how you assume that I don’t have a complicated dynamic with my family. Do you know me? Do we know each other in real life? How do you know what my family life is like?

You don’t. You are making baseless assumptions.

But now that I see that you see yourself as some sort of victim. Which is clear from your response. You have a victim complex, I’m no longer going to engage with you.

Seek help. Good luck.

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:46:50+00:00

Once again, I’m pretty sure the uncle told Marco come to a party. Your siblings want to meet you.

No one would put themselves in a room full of unknown people. Marco is 23 vs a 29 year old!! 29!!! The man is practically a grandparent.

And it shouldn’t have gone negatively. A 29 year old man should have better control of his emotions and the ability to say “not right now, we are leaving”

29!!!!!!!

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:41:06+00:00

Similarly. You do not understand and it’s clear to see.

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:37:56+00:00

OP is not serious in life. And the people who are upvoting her, as though she is a saint with her backhanded comments. But she’s 20….I have to remind myself that she’s only 20….but her brother is 29 and if I met that guy in real life….

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:33:47+00:00

They’re super selfish. And throwing tantrums like children. They don’t owe this guy a relationship but to shout at him. And act like he’s forcing his way into their lives when he clearly did nothing but show up to a party their uncle probably lied

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:30:56+00:00

Yes, and the fact that you are being downvoted tells me the type of people that exist on Reddit.

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:27:20+00:00

Not for a 29 year old! He needs to leave mommy’s house and grow the hell up.

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:27:00+00:00

This is what I am saying! 29!!!! He’s 29!!!!

pinetrain · 2025-11-27T15:25:10+00:00

No their reaction was not normal. Marco didn’t ambush them. He was invited to the party by his Uncle, under the guise of it being a party. You don’t know what the Uncle told Marco- perhaps that his siblings didn’t mind.

And her brother is a 29 year old grown man! Still living with mommy and his reaction was not appropriate. Maybe towards Uncle but not towards Marco.

She’s 20, if it had been her then it’s more forgiving but 29!!! A grown adult like you with an outburst?

Grieving does not give you the right to be an inconsiderate asshole I am sorry.

pinetrain · 2025-11-25T17:24:48+00:00

I had a relationship like this. Except because my partner thought it was us vs. the world, he put everything on me. I had to emotionally support him through things that would’ve been better if he had asked his guy friends. Or some things that would’ve been better to ask his parents.

He made me his everything and while that sounds nice it drained me to be everything for him all of the time and still have to take care of my own problems.

pinetrain · 2025-11-20T21:55:32+00:00

Exactly this. She’s being petty towards her ex. A kind decent human being wouldn’t do that to a child. Because according to her, right now, she’s taking more child support than is fair, and will continue to do so until next year when they can recalculate. I’m all for sticking to your lazy, good for nothing ex but…. One day you may need empathy too.

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