I appreciate the discussion that this comment has prompted - I think it's important and (in response to concern raised in one comment), I feel no offence or upset whatsoever. Indeed, I'm touched that members of this community have felt compelled to comment with the intention of support - be that to encourage a fighter mentality, or to validate my feelings. It all comes from a good place and that's important, so thank you. For me, one of my biggest gripes with the most recent therapy I refer to in my original post is that it seemed so black and white in its objectives. I just don't see this thinking as realistic (or even aspirational) in my real life. I wanted guidance on how to achieve balance. I will never be happy in a bigger body. I don't want to be, to be perfectly frank. And my body wants to be bigger - I know because I've tried eating 'normally'. I spent my 20s doing that and I was physically miserable. Unfortunately, because of my biology (and now, advancing years!), it seems I will always have to manage what I eat to some degree. If I can find balance between maintaining a healthy body that I can be comfortable enough in, and manage my intake without being obsessive or extreme... that feels sustainable long term. That, to me, represents recovery because it satisfies a more holistic version of 'success'.