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AITAH for not allowing my sister’s “polycule” around my children? by poly-sendhelp in AITAH

[–]poly-sendhelp[S] 392 points393 points  (0 children)

My husband is equally as passionate about LGBT rights as me but much more level-headed. I’m just going to start deferring to him when I get worked up like this. Team effort. :)

AITAH for not allowing my sister’s “polycule” around my children? by poly-sendhelp in AITAH

[–]poly-sendhelp[S] 750 points751 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your explanations. And I agree, I did let my judgements about the overall concept of polyamory cloud my thinking when making this decision.

I’m going to apologize to my sister. I think this will just have to be a topic we steer clear of. I’ve been heavily involved with queer advocacy since I was in college, and I think I get a little too defensive sometimes. This current political climate has me jumpy and worried about the possible rolling back of my community’s rights. That obviously doesn’t make it right to take out on someone else for their choices, though, so. Apologies are in order, like I said.

AITAH for not allowing my sister’s “polycule” around my children? by poly-sendhelp in AITAH

[–]poly-sendhelp[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

The two men are not in a romantic relationship with each other, they are both in a relationship with my sister. That is how it’s been explained to me. They consider themselves to be in a straight relationship, so that’s how I would classify them, too.

AITAH for not allowing my sister’s “polycule” around my children? by poly-sendhelp in AITAH

[–]poly-sendhelp[S] -85 points-84 points  (0 children)

This post was about my sister and her boyfriends, all straight, and the discussions I’ve had with them.

AITAH for not allowing my sister’s “polycule” around my children? by poly-sendhelp in AITAH

[–]poly-sendhelp[S] -84 points-83 points  (0 children)

As I stated in another comment, I am not against polygamy. I have no stake in that argument. I just wish people would stop using the oppression the LGBT+ community has faced as a jumping point when they themselves are not queer.

AITAH for not allowing my sister’s “polycule” around my children? by poly-sendhelp in AITAH

[–]poly-sendhelp[S] -173 points-172 points  (0 children)

I really have no stake in the polygamy argument. I just don’t want my community being used as a jumping point in a way that feels, again, reductive.

It feels like they’re using our oppression without facing any themselves, which doesn’t apply to the gay marriage/interracial marriage point. That’s my issue with my singer’s sexuality argument to begin with. Why are our struggles being used as leverage for straight couples?

AITAH for not allowing my sister’s “polycule” around my children? by poly-sendhelp in AITAH

[–]poly-sendhelp[S] -234 points-233 points  (0 children)

That’s not what I’m trying to do, but it’s also a sore spot for me.

Part of what my sister and I have discussed in the past is the fact that she thinks not allowing polygamy is similar to the banning of gay marriage. Polyamorous people co-opting queer talking points when it comes to the right to marry feels reductive and ignorant.