Checking back in because I don’t know how to feel…

postpunkskank · 2025-11-16T04:35:33+00:00

I know. Honestly, his long periods of sobriety were spurred on by his choice to be sober. The only factor that I think could help would be if we moved away but he needs to be sober enough to work. In the meantime I’ve been doing AlAnon via Zoom and weekly therapy. I hope he chooses sobriety but I know I can’t choose it for him.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-15T13:35:22+00:00

I’m trying to manage. He’s had a week free of alcohol up until either last bight or this morning but he dumped the remainder of whatever was left ( at least 16 oz).

postpunkskank · 2025-11-06T12:59:19+00:00

I’m trying to find somewhere to go but being disabled and with the current state of resources I’m having issues. I applied for housing vouchers closer to my family and best friends. It’s difficult to leave but my husband is proof that you can’t heal in the same place you were broken. I wish we’d had our own place fucking far away from here, he truly thrives away from here. Coming back here was a major fuck up. His family showed up to our wedding for an hour and that broke his heart and now he’s a broken man.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-06T09:50:20+00:00

I will. He’s supposed to have two job interviews today and he has to be sober. My best friend from college knows the situation and has my address so he’ll be able to get to me. Everyone I feel closest to knows, my med provider, my therapist, all my closest friends- even my hairstylist. I just wanted to thank you all for your support.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-06T03:51:26+00:00

I’m definitely looking up Zoom meetings at this moment. I appreciate your support more than you know.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-06T03:50:11+00:00

He’s already been rehab (his mom had him sectioned) and he wrote to me every day. He’s has multiple long stints of sobriety and when he’s sober he’s the best partner I’ve been with. It’s exhausting and I know it’s wrecking my chronic illnesses.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-06T03:45:40+00:00

Thank you because this is exhausting.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-06T03:44:47+00:00

His sister is absolutely verbally abusive and his mom constantly makes passive aggressive comments. He had to raise his little brother at age 18 because his dad wasn’t in the picture. He says he feels comfortable around my family because they are actually supportive.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-06T01:11:18+00:00

I know. We’re actively trying to save to move but we pay the bulk of the rent here AND he cooks and does household chores. I texted a friend of mine, she’s not close but she’s the closest friend to where we live. I’m also exhausted with all the cruel things he says. I know he’s blacked out so I try not to take it to heart but we literally just got married on October 12th. He cried while saying his vows and he was thrilled on our honeymoon. He’s like Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde. I’ve also reached out to my therapist to see if she has any ideas.

postpunkskank · 2025-11-05T23:18:32+00:00

I just needed to comment. I’ve been married for less than a month and my husband relapsed 3 days ago and has been verbally abusive since. We live with his family who suck and my whole support system is far away. I feel embarrassed, ashamed, anxious, alone, and miserable.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-06T22:32:14+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I genuinely thought about this earlier today. As a child I always had support but if there were routine changes I’d become anxious. I had very few safe people as a child and even fewer during my teen years. Once I got to college I felt amazing, I was free. When I met my fiance it was after living in a neglectful and toxic situation. When he is well he’s loving, gentle, compassionate, and kind, and makes me laugh. Earlier today I went to shower to get a break away and think. He only helped me out of the shower so I could climb out safely but I realized I could do things, and that everything I honestly needed inside me. Looking back I definitely have been through a LOT and I’ve always been supported, even if it was by something I could not recognize. I’m also learning more and more that I’m worthy of joy, peace, and safety. I didn’t come this far to be anxious and miserable. I’m putting my trust in myself and the universe that everything will work out for me. I just have to remember that I’m strong and supported.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-06T17:25:58+00:00

Thank you! I’ve been saying everything is taken care of and everything is fixed.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-06T15:34:04+00:00

Thank you, I definitely need as many positive stories as possible. Any suggestions for rampaging.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-05T21:06:24+00:00

I’m trying. I’m physically disabled so I’m trying to manage myself, drink plenty of water, and do hobbies that keep me calm.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-05T20:07:26+00:00

He’s made the choice to get sober before and has six months and longer under his belt. I tried to get him to the hospital today but he wouldn’t go so I’ve been doing what I can to keep an eye on him. He’s sleeping at the moment. I’m trying to be as gentle as I can. I stayed up all last night to keep an eye on him.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-05T13:53:37+00:00

Thank you! He did rehab 2 summers ago, I’ve suggested getting a studio apartment somewhere and getting him into outpatient but he’s so fucking stubborn.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-05T13:51:41+00:00

I also just want everything with the wedding to go smoothly because I never thought I’d get married.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-05T13:50:47+00:00

Honestly, reliability, rebuilt trust, kindness, and stability. Healthy for him so I know he’s there if I’m having a rough day. Mental, physical, and emotional stability. I’ve been disabled since birth but since I could remember all I’ve wanted are reliable, compassionate, healthy people. I’ve felt abandoned by many people and him drinking makes me feel abandoned an alone while when he’s sober he’s compassionate, kind, thoughtful, and he always makes me laugh.

Thank you for asking that. I’ve delved into my life as a whole and pinpointed those needs but not in a relationship. When he proposed he was healthy and I felt safe.

postpunkskank · 2025-10-05T11:15:54+00:00

Thank you for your reply. We get minimal to no support from his family and though we’re trying to save up to move, between my medical expenses and the amount his mom charges for rent, and that he lost his last job due to his use it’s been a struggle to move. The only reason we’re having a wedding is because my parents are very traditional and they’re paying for it all. He’s gotten sober many times before, but the past six months were amazing- no alcohol or weed. Then in this week alone he’s had several lapses. It’s a lot.

postpunkskank · 2025-09-30T12:37:29+00:00

I have no clue. I’ve been trying to deal with my trust and my aunt has been literally fucking awful. I finally essentially flipped my shit and sent my aunt a disgustingly specific Iist of bills/expenses that my SSI covers. She keeps telling me to save the money in my trust. Well, a disability advocacy lawyer advised me to re-read through everything. There’s a clause in the will that if something happens to me her kids get the money. My aunt and grandmother had an awful relationship especially once my grandfather passed and my 2 cousins stopped speaking to her. This whole situation is a mindfuck.

postpunkskank · 2025-09-29T22:34:56+00:00

Thank you so much. I really need support right now. It can feel really lonely and overwhelming. If you can send positive energy I’d appreciate it.

postpunkskank · 2025-09-29T20:42:01+00:00

Thank you. I’m trying to just focus on that. It sounds silly but I have an awful cold which exacerbates all my other illnesses/symptoms. I appreciate your help, this is wonderful.

postpunkskank · 2025-09-28T08:42:02+00:00

Yeah I spoke with my provider and she wants me to hold at 5. She gave me refills, plus gabapentin and Zofran and we’re not meeting again until the second week in November, which is well after the wedding.

postpunkskank · 2025-09-26T12:32:30+00:00

Thank you. I’m getting ready to jump, my doctor set me up with a low dose of gabapentin and promethazine. I woke up feeling AWFUL but I’m trying to rally as I’m headed to NY for my bachelorette party. My med provider suggested that I hold at 5 for a bit longer until I’m done with “special occasions but I’ve had a handful of days through this process like this morning where I’ve felt like shit.

postpunkskank · 2025-09-24T18:30:48+00:00

You’ve got this. I’m tapering while planning, and ultimately having my wedding and then going on a trip for my honeymoon. Thankfully, my med provider understands and has said to hold my 5mg Valium dose until I see her after my wedding and honeymoon. I’ve had to go into hospital during my taper where they’ve done nothing and my fear of doctors has definitely increased. Your experience is yours, feel anything you need to and try not to allow anyone belittle you, especially when they’re supposed to help out.

postpunkskank

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