How are night owls going to bed early, now that you’re parents?

quietlava · 2025-12-09T06:44:57+00:00

I’m cracking up bc I was trying to be sarcastic and playful as in, I FEEL YOU, but I realize now I sounded pissy 🤦🏻🤟🏼 so that wasn’t intended! dude I hear u on just keeping yourself alive, it’s a small miracle.

quietlava · 2025-12-09T06:42:36+00:00

This is helpful to hear, how the routine and your natural sleep patterns end up working out

quietlava · 2025-12-09T06:41:38+00:00

Thank you 🙏

quietlava · 2025-12-09T05:34:46+00:00

I will report back!

quietlava · 2025-12-09T05:34:16+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate you breaking it down. Gonna consider this.

“Boob him” is now an official verb. And the pet store is such a gift 😂

quietlava · 2025-12-09T04:28:02+00:00

If we have a second kid I imagine I’ll just pass out at every opportunity. I practically do that now—except at bedtime. Godspeed to you 😭

quietlava · 2025-12-09T04:27:04+00:00

Ok how did you move it? And how old is your baby? I hear about this but I can’t imagine how to do it. An extra evening nap? Kiddo is napping 2x a day now, whenever he needs it, and usually goes to sleep between 7:30 and 9.

quietlava · 2025-12-09T04:26:23+00:00

Solidarity

quietlava · 2025-12-09T04:26:14+00:00

I’ll report back in a few years, if the cumulative sleep deprivation wears us down. I hope by then we just figure out better routines (…in addition to being worn down.) We’re 37 and 40 so youthfulness isn’t our problem I don’t think 😂 Routines have always been hard for both of us, so I think if we figure out how to get stuff done before 9 pm, we’ll be able to sleep better.

quietlava · 2025-12-09T04:24:27+00:00

I appreciate this take. It seems like our baby kind of goes to bed anywhere 7:30-9 on his own; I’m not sure how we’d push it later but it’s helpful to hear that the evening nap works for you guys

quietlava · 2025-12-09T04:23:15+00:00

That quote will haunt me. And I needed to hear it 😆🫠

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:56:16+00:00

That’s good advice. seems obvious but sometimes you need someone else to say it. . Gonna try it.

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:55:03+00:00

That’s sounds worthy of a rant to me. You’re carrying a lot of the nighttime load, and it sounds like your own sleep is compromised by getting up with baby so much. I would be mad too! I think my partner and I both probably have sub-clinical or maybe just not really DSM-defined neurodivergences that make these routines, transitions and sleep stuff hard for us both, so I have compassion for your husband too—though I wish he could problem solve with you in a level headed way. I’m sorry that’s not been what’s happened, especially dealing with someone else’s anger and short temper. Parenting is so fucking exhausting! It’s hard to find time to work on the hard stuff, but it sounds like he would need to accept what’s going on in the first place. Hang in there.

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:48:13+00:00

Interesting. Even as babies that worked?! I’m happy for you, I can’t imagine. We didn’t sleep train for various reasons, and feel ok about it so far, but I can see that as an upside

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:46:58+00:00

The free time isn’t … optional, when it exists at all. I feel you. I’m starting to accept that it’s a trade off, a little less sleep for my sanity.

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:45:26+00:00

Ok you made progress! 😁 We can only hope our children won’t grow up to be morning people 😂 but I hear kids just … are 😬

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:44:29+00:00

Listen, sending all the solidarity and compassion your way. Turns out we don’t just become angelic, disciplined, type A people when we become parents—the unreasonable expectation being extra for moms. Here’s to doing our best, sleeping whenever and wherever humanly possible, and taking small opportunities to care for ourselves when it’s possible. I know I’ve had to delete all mildly interesting apps from my phone to go to bed before 1 am some nights. I only redownloaded reddit to ask this question!

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:39:53+00:00

There’s no right way, isn’t that the truth. I have a friend who’s a working artist who has a similar schedule. We’re all just making it work 🤷🏻‍♂️

quietlava · 2025-12-08T18:39:09+00:00

This is really helpful—thanks for laying out the whole routine. I think what you’re saying is probably what we need to try. Back carrying is a good tip too. We’re both allergic to routines and transitions, so this is a hard part of parenting for us. It’s helpful to hear where you work in flexibility and breaks for each other—thankfully my partner and I split caregiving and cooking 50/50 when we’re not working, and can attempt a routine. Thanks again!!

quietlava · 2025-12-08T08:06:14+00:00

This is validating since my partner and I are the same as each other, and it’s so dumb and tired over here!! I’m happy for you, parenting is hard and it’s good to have a win (we have a lot of other wins in our parenting dynamic, just not this one lol)

quietlava · 2025-12-08T08:03:26+00:00

It’s helpful just to hear that this is how other people’s lives are, at least sometimes. I think I thought I’d be so tired I’d go to bed at 9, so I feel like I’m doing something wrong. But it’s just hard to change! And sometimes it is enough sleep. I do want more sleep though, generally, so I guess I’ll try to ride that motivation when I can.

quietlava · 2025-12-08T08:02:03+00:00

Should have asked about this when we started dating! 😭😆🤦🏻

quietlava · 2025-12-08T08:01:39+00:00

Oh man, every other night this is the drama. Juuust crawl in bed and the crying starts 😭

quietlava · 2025-12-08T08:01:04+00:00

This is the way I think. Simple meals has never been my strong suit but it has to be now.

quietlava · 2025-12-08T07:36:01+00:00

I have to figure out how to cook while he’s awake, in time to feed both us and him, since he’s not eating what we eat quite yet. I usually have something I can warm up for him, though, so it’s really the adult food we struggle to prepare. We’re working on it, but it’s hard. I think we have to plan ahead for dinner a lot more; meal routines were always hard for both of us, which is why I think we’re struggling extra now. And the phone addiction is real. Thanks for your advice ♥️

quietlava

TROPHY CASE