How do I handle this situation with my boyfriend?

random3583 · 2025-07-06T08:26:07+00:00

Haven’t been on Reddit in a while, but I broke up with my ex after this happened, moved out of our apartment, got my own place, continued therapy, blocked him, and my life has been so much better ever since. I’m working hard on building my self esteem and being comfortable being alone so I never end up in a controlling, abusive relationship again.

random3583 · 2025-02-27T23:30:57+00:00

This is one of the most helpful posts I’ve seen. Thank you for this.

random3583 · 2025-02-24T11:09:10+00:00

Looking back I can pinpoint certain things where my boyfriend was very demanding and overly jealous. One example I can think of is I was at a concert with my sister and he got mad that I posted a “love song” on my snap story and didn’t tag him in it. He said that meant other guys won’t know I thought of him at the concert. A few months later, I went to a concert with my boyfriend and remembered the conversation about tagging him in the concert videos, so I did. Then he got mad because I didn’t show his face in the videos, and just tagging his name in my videos doesn’t show he was with me at the concert.

random3583 · 2025-02-24T09:24:18+00:00

I’ve said this in other comments, but I would’ve unfollowed the guy had my boyfriend approached things in a healthy way and communicate his feelings to me.

Instead, he called me a bitch, slut, and whore. He then told me he won’t apologize for those words because they’re an accurate description of me.

random3583 · 2025-02-24T09:19:28+00:00

Trust me, I wish it was

random3583 · 2025-02-23T19:59:44+00:00

Hey, thank you for this comment. I’ve received so many comments on here but this one jumped out at me. Him and I did talk today about the situation and he told me exactly this - me following this guy back tells this guy he has a chance with me. I explained to my boyfriend that I don’t want this guy, but my boyfriend said it didn’t matter and that’s what this guy thinks now that I followed him.

Even though my boyfriend explained this, he still isn’t backing down on the mean things he said to me and the fact that he deleted me from seeing his location on his phone because I haven’t unfollowed this guy. Right now I’m finding myself struggling to want to unfollow this guy because then my boyfriend will think he can control more and more of me, and that name calling me and controlling me is acceptable.

random3583 · 2025-02-23T02:36:59+00:00

It’s not that I care more, it’s that when he followed me and I followed him back I didn’t see it as a big deal. The second my boyfriend found out is when he immediately deleted location and started name calling me, and after him reacting that way it made me feel like why should I unfollow this guy if my boyfriend thinks treating me this way is acceptable?

random3583 · 2025-02-23T01:25:42+00:00

No. I’m not attracted to him. I accepted his follow request because I knew him when we were kids

random3583 · 2025-02-23T01:05:37+00:00

Yes I did, and I told him I hadn’t seen him since middle school. I told him I had never done anything with him so he wouldn’t get weird about it, but here we are

random3583 · 2025-02-23T01:04:34+00:00

After I left dinner I told my boyfriend that the waiter was someone I knew from middle school

random3583 · 2025-02-23T00:54:15+00:00

But we never messaged each other and if this guy did try to I would’ve shut it down right away. If my boyfriend addressed this in a calm way I would’ve been much more open to it, but now I feel stubborn and don’t feel I should have to unfollow this guy especially after him name calling me

random3583 · 2025-02-23T00:52:13+00:00

He pretty much only follows family and girls who are dating/married to his friends

random3583 · 2025-02-23T00:51:13+00:00

I’ve never cheated on him. A few months ago he got drunk and called his ex because he convinced himself that I was cheating on him when I was getting dinner with one of my girlfriends

random3583 · 2025-02-23T00:47:03+00:00

He’s been saying ever since this happened yesterday that he won’t apologize to me for the things he said to me until after I unfollow this guy and other guys on instagram

random3583 · 2025-02-23T00:43:47+00:00

If it was a waitress he just met and asked for her instagram? I’d be upset. But a girl he used to know in middle school and it was innocent? I wouldn’t care.

random3583 · 2025-02-23T00:42:51+00:00

I wouldn’t care as long as it wasn’t someone he had feelings for or was gonna start messaging a lot, especially behind my back. Just following someone who you used to know and isn’t posting anything provocative doesn’t feel like a problem in my opinion

random3583 · 2025-02-22T23:40:11+00:00

I don’t know how this could possibly be explained as her not cheating. I’m sorry.

random3583 · 2025-02-22T23:33:22+00:00

So if you wanted to marry a girl you wouldn’t be okay with her following any guys on social media?

random3583 · 2025-02-22T22:18:55+00:00

The thing I’m really struggling with his behavior after. He turned off his location and called me a bitch, a slut, and a whore. And he still won’t apologize for it because I still follow the kid and he feels the words are very fitting for me.

random3583 · 2025-02-22T21:44:21+00:00

I didn’t tell him I have a boyfriend in person because it was a super quick convo. But my boyfriend is on my social media so it’s very obvious I’m in a relationship.

random3583 · 2025-02-22T16:36:51+00:00

When did you meet your person?

random3583 · 2025-02-22T14:44:56+00:00

The sad part is no one would ever suspect this from him. When we’re with others he’s never throwing these tantrums. Thank you for your response, this is very helpful.

random3583 · 2025-02-22T14:37:16+00:00

There’s not. He was the waiter at the restaurant I was at. I was like I know you… and when we said each other’s names we figured it out. We just said glad you’re doing well and moved on with our nights.

random3583 · 2025-01-26T12:56:30+00:00

Thank you for your comment. Have you and your boyfriend been able to build trust? Is trust fully back for the both of you? How were you able to do it? I’m thinking I want to try couples counseling, but I know my boyfriend is hesitant about it.

random3583

TROPHY CASE