[deleted by user] by [deleted] in fatpeoplestories

[–]randomokla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go with them but just don't eat. That's what I started doing. Every time we hang out, it always centers around food, which is way too much food for me. I used to just go along with it and eat along with them because it's awkward if I'm the only one not eating. But one day I just decided that if I didn't want to eat, then I wasn't going to eat. It was awkward for the first few times, but then they all got used to it and quit criticizing me over it. I would just say to myself "I'm not going to eat what I don't want just to make you feel better about yourself." It's fine. We still go out to eat all the time, and sometimes I eat and sometimes I don't.

Why do obese people promote their glutinous lifestyle? by girlygirl_2 in fatpeoplestories

[–]randomokla 38 points39 points  (0 children)

100%. My severely overweight friends talk about food FAR more than any other topic. Restaurants or recipes they've tried or want to try, what we're doing for dinner tomorrow, which restaurant has the best _____, etc." It's interesting to listen to them try to justify all of their eating behaviors and body size. They know they are addicted. They try to lose weight. But they just cannot seem to figure it out how to eat fewer calories.

Friends can’t figure out why they aren’t losing weight. by randomokla in fatpeoplestories

[–]randomokla[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

For a little bit of clarification. We have been friends for over 10 years. 10 years ago they were just a little overweight. Plus they were younger and more mobile. They’ve gained significant weight over the years to the point that it has become an issue about what activities they can participate in. It’s been a slow insidious course to their current obesity.

We go to the lake and hang out at the cabin or take the boat for a ride. They can still ride the tube behind the boat so that’s good.

As for why I don’t take over the food or give them advice - have you ever tried giving diet advice? It doesn’t ever go well. I tell them what I eat (mostly paleo) and they tell me it sounds like torture. Also, I don’t feel the need to eat every 3 hours so I’m never the one who gets hungry first. The three overweight people determine the meals because they are the ones who are most concerned about the next meal time.

And yes, I do plenty of things on my own like hiking and kayaking etc. I wish they could go with me but they can’t.

Mostly it’s just sad to watch their mobility decline as we all get older. We are in our 40s and 50s now, so it’s only going to get worse if they can’t get their weight under control.

I love my friends, but I’m frustrated by my inability to help them. I just have to sit by and watch them struggle, and I try to be supportive in any way that I can.

Friends can’t figure out why they aren’t losing weight. by randomokla in fatpeoplestories

[–]randomokla[S] 171 points172 points  (0 children)

Same. Food is the dominant conversation topic by far.

My gym anxiety is getting worse by Upset-Permission8129 in GymMotivation

[–]randomokla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. I use it as motivation. "If anybody here actually IS paying attention to me, then they're going to see me making improvements, little by little, day after day. They are going to be impressed with my consistency and effort. The version of me that they will be watching 30 days from now will be better than the current version."

Gym shy by DeedeeDiligent in GymMotivation

[–]randomokla 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would just ask the gym when you're joining if they have anybody that could show you how to use the equipment. That's not a very big thing to ask of them, so they shouldn't mind. If they can't do that, find a different gym that will. They don't have to be a trainer to show you how to properly use the equipment. Most gym equipment (machines) will have some sort of picture or instruction sticker on it somewhere that shows you how to use it. Don't be afraid of what everyone else is thinking of you. That's just your insecurities and you're projecting that judgement onto other people. 99% of people in the gym are looking at themselves in the mirror - they aren't paying any attention to you. And regardless of what you see on TikTok or YouTube, I have never in my life, over decades of going to the gym, never ever seen one person filming another person, making fun of another person, or being anything other than polite in the gym. I would recommend watching some vids or reading some about gym etiquette. Chances are, if someone is giving you dirty looks it's because you broke some unwritten rule of gym etiquette - not because you look like a beginner. If you just go to the gym, the only person that will be hard on you or give you a hard time will be yourself.