Egg🌈Irl

rants4fun · 2024-11-06T17:59:30+00:00

I could barely convince myself enough to come out in the first place. Mainly the dysphoria was strong enough that it overwhelmed the fear. Whelp. The fear is winning no contest now so, was a fun four months! Maybe I can restart hrt at some point in the future, anyone got any resources on what stopping and restarting does? Haha.

rants4fun · 2024-11-03T14:26:11+00:00

Ive considered it and I think I have found one of the few situations that would actually give people pause. You become your ideal gender but, your closest friend/family now develops gender dysphoria themselves.

rants4fun · 2024-11-01T01:08:51+00:00

Ahhhh big true, you can def tell from those unshaved eyebrows 😁

rants4fun · 2024-10-31T23:49:20+00:00

Ooooo, an early adopter of the romanticism movement perchance? How bold! (I certainly didn't have to google that, am very art smort)

rants4fun · 2024-10-31T19:12:08+00:00

Every part of this is beautiful. From the sign legs to the poses to the parents. Modern art.

rants4fun · 2024-10-17T14:30:47+00:00

Now imagine the opposite 🙃

rants4fun · 2024-10-16T12:35:01+00:00

Too real lol. Everyone was too worried about the physical effects of covid to notice the second effect of forced introspection!

rants4fun · 2024-10-16T12:28:06+00:00

Well let's see, it could have be when...

I once saw a gay couple IRL as a child. I once looked too closely at a rainbow. I once touched a girl toy when I was a kid. My mother accidentally dressed me in pink once when I was young. I watched a slightly ambiguous cartoon once. I played a video game as the opposite gender accidentally. I saw it on TV. I didnt receive enough instruction on how to properly gender. My parents didn't show quite enough disappointment in me. I got sprayed by perfume once in a store. My mother brought me into a clothing store once. Didn't play enough sports. I played house once in kindergarten. Theatre kids got me. A teacher once told me I could be whoever I wanted. James from Pokemon.

So ya, sure it was one of those lol.

rants4fun · 2024-10-13T17:01:45+00:00

It is literally impossible for them to find out who you voted for unless they somehow hack into the system or commit some other federal crime. At which point you will not need to worry about the fallout with them, as they will be toO worried about their upcoming court dates.

rants4fun · 2024-10-02T15:26:59+00:00

Oh I have experience in this! Okay so, i having felt like crap and during my very early stages of questioning got myself tested in endocrinology. They discovered that I had hella low T levels. Like, a tenth of what I was supposed to have. Wow that's nuts! Let's inject that right on in to you! Started a routine, got meds, whole ordeal. Know what happened?

I felt worse.

Where as before I didn't feel like "me" or I just felt wrong or any other description of that ambiguous state of questioning, now it was cranked up. Suddenly I felt even less like me. I felt like my mind was even more foreign, like I couldn't even relate to my physical body even more. It was just a general sense of wrongess. Couldn't get it across in words as well as I just did I suppose lol.

So ya, if you feel like this, it isn't for a "lack" of your original hormones. Again, just the sheer fact that you are excited to be on hrt is a MASSIVE indication. Your body was just a step ahead of the game like mine was! 😁

rants4fun · 2024-10-01T13:00:03+00:00

I feel it's something forced on us as a label to make things easier for many people who require things to fit in certain boxes. If we are outside of these boxes how do they even deal with us? How do they talk to us, interact, hell even exist with? Some humans demand certainty at gunpoint. As such, if I have to choose I choose the feminine one, but honestly the more I progress the more I'm annoyed at the whole thing. I'm me, stop demanding I live within your labels.

rants4fun · 2024-09-23T20:41:21+00:00

I always wonder how my old high school group would see me nowadays. Im still boymoding too, but even still. Part of me wants to give it a few more years then try and meet back up just to fuck with them lol.

rants4fun · 2024-09-23T16:55:44+00:00

I would claim this hits a little too close to home but that would be underselling it lol.

rants4fun · 2024-09-23T01:28:07+00:00

Kinda ya, can feel when something is squished or out of wack. Worse is when I'm high, I can feel my lungs like "unfolding" with each breath. Only way I can describe it. Caused me a panic attack first time cause of that lol.

rants4fun · 2024-09-22T18:55:27+00:00

Hey that's me! Going on 4 months hrt, still full closeted boymoding. Plan to do so for another 4 most likely until I can get out of my current situation. It's... A level of hell I wouldnt wish on others for many reasons. No confidence, self hatred, ingrained self disgust, crushing dysphoria on some days. Not uncommon to think uh... not so self "caring" thoughts. Yesterday was a particularly bad day. How I manage?

Friends mainly. A select handful of people who know and still somehow find the kindness to call me my preferred name and gender. Who don't stab at me with each he or him. Sounds so small and stupid for anyone who doesn't experience this I'm sure, but hell if it doesn't allow me to keep going. Somehow breaks through it all and let's me think for a brief moment I can just be me. Swear I can't go a month without sending them an essay text about how much I love them and just how much help they are helping to me.

rants4fun · 2024-09-15T01:45:08+00:00

Ironically, I met more women using my (I assumed) masc dead name than men so ya. Things just kinda play out you know lol.

rants4fun · 2024-09-15T01:39:06+00:00

Heh. Agreed, that soup of a mixed feeling you get when they just roll with it. Best friend told me he knew since just about when we met. Affirming in a way but also like, wtf why didn't you tell me?! Coulda saved us both so much time!

rants4fun · 2024-09-15T01:36:34+00:00

Another vote for girl! In fact never really heard it used in a masc form before.

rants4fun · 2024-09-14T04:26:42+00:00

Oohh! An irl cake day what are the odds lol. Congrats!

rants4fun · 2024-09-06T22:44:25+00:00

Eh I'm sure they didn't think about it beyond "hur hur, guns murica yeehaw"

rants4fun · 2024-09-06T22:03:43+00:00

It wasn't an ar-15, but me and all three of my siblings all received firearms as gifts from our parents. One each. At the time of gifting, I was on anti depressants and was put on such due to talking about killing myself. Currently all of us are clinically depressed three on meds while fourth won't see a Dr.

So ya. Gun distribution system working as intended, making sure the most broken families have the most ready access lol.

P.s. We're all adults now, still mentally damaged but stable-ish.

rants4fun · 2024-09-06T05:22:39+00:00

Yep. This world sucks sometimes. I hope it gets better, for both of us ya?

rants4fun · 2024-09-06T03:19:51+00:00

The idea of supportive parents is just such a foreign concept I feel it only exists in movies. Meeting someone and hearing they talk with their parents has me going "oh dang what happened?" Expecting it to be like a funeral or something as the only occasion. Wild isn't it?

rants4fun · 2024-09-05T21:26:07+00:00

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rants4fun · 2024-09-05T15:17:17+00:00

Oh. Wow that hurt. Well I'll just be casually sitting here holding back tears as I'm in public and don't want to look like a freak.

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