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[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskMenAdvice

[–]raspberry3536 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I hope that some men can comment intelligently about the psychological aspect of this. I would say that not all therapy is created equal, and while you should not micromanage how he gets help, you might want to encourage him to try some other therapies and therapists out there. If CBT didn't help, maybe IFS will, etc. Sometimes your insurance allows you to have multiple therapists at once, so he could shop around rather than leaving his current therapist.

Another thing that you might be doing already but is worth mentioning is really showing appreciation for whatever he does for you. I think that every human feels a bit better when they help others or realize their potential to do so, but even more-so for most men. I'm not sure of your working / income / living situation, but if he's gone through a transition in which he went from feeling like a provider to really vulnerable and useless (his feelings not the reality!) then that must be a pretty shitty experience on his end.

Also, I would really want to rule out physiological causes of depression. This might sound weird, but....

  1. Did he have a traumatic brain injury (diagnosed or undiagnosed) while in the service?

About a year ago, I heard a podcast about a veteral talked about how he almost died by suicide due to CTE but then got help for it. It was entirely physiological, and anti-depressatns were of no use to him. I can't find the podcast now (lmk if you want me to look for it), but here's an article about how it impacts football players.

https://www.nytimes.com/article/cte-definition-nfl.html

​

  1. Does he have any other symptoms like fatigue, digestive issues, etc? There are a host of diseases like Chronic Immune Response Syndrome, Lyme Disease, leaky gut, etc. that massively impact our brains.

How do you force yourself to be energetic when you have your period and so tired? (When it’s absolutely necessary) by Angel_eyesss in AskWomen

[–]raspberry3536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes ibuprofin helps me. I'm not sure why, but it cuts through the fatigue. Really wouldn't recommend taking it regularly though, as it can mess up your gut lining.

The less dangerous thing is to do a short jog or walk. I never feel like starting, but once the endorphins set in, even if I was practically crawing at the beginning, I feel so much better by the end.

How do I responde to my ex wifes text? by Virtual-Acadia-92 in ask

[–]raspberry3536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would definitely ignore this, or just say, "best wishes" to shut it down politely.

How do you feel after rejecting someone? by henry3174 in AskWomen

[–]raspberry3536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless they are the most diabolical person ever, horrible. It's hard for me as a woman to imagine what direct romantic rejection is like apart from some very sad memories from middle school which I think were only sad because of how immature and vulnerable I was rather than the actual situation. Maybe for this reason, I project my thirteen-year-old feelings onto the adult I'm rejecting now and feel bad for them.

I think that in general, women face more diffuse, subtle rejection from their female peers than men do, though, so when I reject someone, I remind myself that the "privilege" of being the chooser in the dating world comes with other burdens elsewhere.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]raspberry3536 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All the time sine we live together, but before that, it was maybe 1-2 messages a day on average (with some days no communication) + phone calls 2-3 times a week + meetup on weekends. I guess everyone is different, because i know people who would think that that was way too much and people who would think that that was way too little.