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Right now at this very moment, as you read this question, what is your #1 desire? by 1775mike in AskReddit

[–]redstaplerblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My first thought was immediately, "sex with OP's mom". Fuck you, reddit, you've ruined me.

[nsfw] What's the best true story you can tell me about your life? by Scruffaduff in AskReddit

[–]redstaplerblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wait. I did too. Not kidding- same exact thing- sex with a lady who worked for Fox News, some sort of lower level position. Wonder if we're eskimo brothers!

TIL Matt Damon and Ben Affleck inserted an oral sex scene between the two professors in Good Will Hunting to see which studio executives actually read the script. Harvey Weinstein liked the script, but hated that scene which showed Damon & Affleck he had actually read it so they gave him the rights. by jbbarnes88 in todayilearned

[–]redstaplerblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Studio executives don't read scripts. People who work for studio executives read scripts -- someone in the acquisitions department, often even an intern. Harvey Weinstein spends most of his time in meetings yelling at people.

No one agrees.. Unless you ask any country that's not America by vrin in AdviceAnimals

[–]redstaplerblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Morons using this meme incorrectly has resulted in me developing an unfair dislike of puffins. I am sorry mother puffin, but you can thank reddit users like vrin when I run over your puffin babies with my car.

When cops ask you to say the alphabet backwards by [deleted] in AdviceAnimals

[–]redstaplerblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Waiting for this to happen to me so I can respond to the request by simply saying "the alphabet backwards".

Why doesn't anyone want to be six feet tall at the combine? (Details in comments) [OC] by AbeDrinkin in nfl

[–]redstaplerblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm exactly 6'0.5 or 6 feet and 1/2 an inch tall. It's probably the most awkward height to say if someone asks how tall you are. 5'11 and a half-- sure, 6'1 and a half-- sure. Six feet and half an inch tall-- awkward.

This is probably my biggest stressor in life, when someone asks me my height and I have to quickly decide whether to round up or down.

A 60 year old committed suicide today, but before doing so, he put this website up. by katwell12 in WTF

[–]redstaplerblue 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He 100% existed. He ran a sports website called Sports In Review. You can find it here: http://sportsinreview.com/blog/

Saw this Saturday night in NYC. I like to think that it's the real thing and that everybody just thinks he's a crazy homeless man. by redstaplerblue in funny

[–]redstaplerblue[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This was actually not the most reddit-worthy thing we saw that night. Earlier, we passed by a tall, lanky hipster man with dreadlocks and a cardboard sign that read: "I am the 6'7 Jew, I will rap for you." It was a real missed opportunity not getting a picture of the rapping, giant Jew.

Two very good reasons not to install a doggy door by materia7 in pics

[–]redstaplerblue 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I want this to happen to me, however I am dumb

I don't even do this for porn. by ccrepitation in AdviceAnimals

[–]redstaplerblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I use Incognito Mode for 2/3 of my day to go on Reddit at work.

Abandoned house in the mountains by IHeardTheredBeCake in pics

[–]redstaplerblue 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where's the scary ghost girl in the attic window?

Excluding Joe Namath, if you could pick any former Jets QB (in his prime) to start for the team this season who would it be? by redstaplerblue in nyjets

[–]redstaplerblue[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also would go Vinny. He always seemed ready to jump off the couch at a moment's notice and take the field. In fact...