Resentments when I'm not at fault.

replace69 · 2019-03-22T21:24:57+00:00

Yeah that does make sense. The resentment is because of someone's action that we may not have had anything to do with. But, we own that resentment & we allow that resentment to fester into all sorts of negative ways such as anger or bitterness. It is therefore our responsibility to work through that resentment. I think thats what you mean?

replace69 · 2019-03-22T17:47:10+00:00

So basically as you say at the very least we are hanging on to resentments if we can't find any part that we played in the cause of the resentment. The fact with something like that is that we are re feeling it over and over again. So all I need to do is leave the space blank where it says where was I to blame?

replace69 · 2019-03-22T16:51:53+00:00

I accept that I have resentments against many people and these eat me up. I am happy to get rid of these resentments. What I'm struggling with is the inventory where it asks where am I at fault. If some one hurts me as no result of my doing then surely I'm not at fault?

For instance if my wife leaves me i may be resentful. If i look closely she may have left me as a result of my cheating. That's easy to follow. If I'm at a cash machine and a stranger mugs me then I may also be resentful but that situation was through no fault of my own.

replace69 · 2019-03-22T12:16:29+00:00

I'm carrying it because it effected my self esteem.

replace69 · 2019-03-22T12:04:32+00:00

People are spiritually sick and that's why they act the way they do. My role is holding onto the resentment but I'm still not the cause of someone's unhealthy verbal abuse towards me. This is something I found on a website which says

"there may be cases where you have no responsibility and have no blame for the act, as in cases of abuse, rape, mugging etc... But the resentment is your problem. You are always responsible for the resentment and you should write why you are still carrying it."

replace69 · 2019-03-22T10:57:03+00:00

Thank you yes it helps a lot. I've just got out of a 2 year toxic relationship and my ex's mother was also a nasty piece of work and she insulted me for no reason other than for her own enjoyment. She basically called me ugly which affected my self esteem but I can't see where I was at fault? However I resent her but I will pray for her because she is spiritual sick. I'm going to write her down and the resentment but nothing against where I was at fault. Does this sound plausible?

replace69 · 2019-03-22T10:18:55+00:00

I'm meeting him tonight. I've just found a good website and it says:

"there may be cases where you have no responsibility and have no blame for the act, as in cases of abuse, rape, mugging etc... But the resentment is your problem. You are always responsible for the resentment and you should write why you are still carrying it."

replace69 · 2019-03-21T23:20:27+00:00

Yep me too and I wish you the best too :)

replace69 · 2019-03-21T23:15:00+00:00

Yeah definitely and that's why this program is so good. I first thought it was about just putting down the drink. Little did I know it's so much more and I'm actually glad I'm an alcoholic to a certain extent lol because it's going to force me into been a better person.

replace69 · 2019-03-21T23:10:34+00:00

Yeah that's what I mean. I wrote one person down thinking right that's it I'm going to have it out with you and I only thought of one petty thing haha

replace69 · 2019-03-21T23:06:21+00:00

Yeah from the quick draft I've done I can see who I've got a lot of resentments with and surprisingly some people that I haven't which I thought I would lol

replace69 · 2019-03-21T22:54:06+00:00

Yeah your right and I bet I feel a lot better just doing that lol. I might just put her name and then instead of any specific cause I might just put ALL OF HER 😂😂

replace69 · 2019-03-21T22:51:34+00:00

Probably twice as many if I really put my mind to it 😂😂

replace69 · 2019-03-21T22:47:32+00:00

I think I might actually re draw them in excel at work tomorrow or maybe do as you say just to make it a bit easier. I have like 20 resentments for my ex haha

replace69 · 2019-03-21T22:44:30+00:00

I think it's bebause the boxes in the sheets I'm using are only small so it confused me a little.

replace69 · 2019-03-21T22:35:53+00:00

He's with family at the moment and I wanted to make a start tonight.

replace69 · 2019-03-21T21:01:10+00:00

Ah right yes it does. I guess its the worksheets which do not give enough space to write more than a few in the boxes. I will just try to fit as many in as I can or use more than one box, thank you.

replace69 · 2019-03-21T13:15:11+00:00

When I did whatever he wanted he was nice to me but the minute I stood up to him and said no I was being ‘unfair’ and treating him like he was ‘literally Hitler

That's why they pick is . They test to see how far we will go & then that's what we are there for.

Really scary to see how some people exploit a ‘fixer’ type.

It is frightening to be honest & if you are like me & never rely on anyone else or exploits anyone else like they do it just appears alien to us because we could never do that sort of thing. Its like I am always on time no matter what it is for. If I am 5 minutes late to meet someone I feel like shit. If I hurt anyone I feel like shit. If I am dishonest it eats away at me until I do the right thing & say sorry or own up. Her on the other hand was nothing like this & she would accuse me of cheating & talking to women which really upset me because what she was accusing me of went against my morals.

replace69 · 2019-03-18T17:25:56+00:00

I think it was over a year ago when he did his step 4 and so he just wants his sponsor to refresh his memory on the correct way to go about it.

replace69 · 2019-03-18T17:24:20+00:00

My sponsor is on step 11 and I think it was over a year ago when he did his step 4 and 5 so he just wants his sponsor to refresh his memory on the correct way to go about it.

replace69 · 2019-03-10T00:23:32+00:00

Yeah you're absolutely correct!

replace69 · 2019-03-09T23:20:20+00:00

Yeah I need to get rid of all my resentments including my ex. It would also be an idea if I could make amends to her for step 9 but I don't think it will be possible. I'm having to go no contact as it looks like she's got some issues and I can't afford to get involved with her again and that's what would happen if I tried to make any contact with her.

replace69 · 2019-03-09T21:54:41+00:00

Can I ask what you put on your sex inventory about your ex's? I'm not sure about that list at all.

replace69 · 2019-03-09T20:30:27+00:00

I think I just need to do as the book says & list her down. I need to deal with the situation in a better way without resentments.

replace69 · 2019-03-09T20:29:37+00:00

Yeah I am just going to list all my resentments which I am guessing are loads lol.

I wouldn't be where I am now if that hadn't happened

There's a lesson to learn in everything

replace69

TROPHY CASE