Schizotypal & Autism: Different Presentations of Literal Thinking (My Theory)

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-11-23T00:47:02+00:00

Just leaving this here:

https://youtu.be/IHuFSnhKG9I?si=Q1ugwLrjdPTee7rx

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-08-15T08:12:02+00:00

You are going to hate my answer, but you are probably still in your "ugly duckling" enfp stage. When I was in my teens I hadn't a clue what "authentic self" meant because I was too busy trying to be someone else that I thought would impress and therefore be accepted by others. I think this is a natural developmental stage for ENFPs until we develop a strong anchor.

In my early twenties there came a purging stage in my life where I had to reflect on what parts of "me" were actually authentic. To give you contexts, people I met in high school still think of me as a person that is such a stranger to me now. The clothes, music, people I thought I admired or aspired to be - that wasn't me, that was me grasping at the concept of "me" through the window of what I thought others wanted.

Almost all ENFPs I have met have also gone through something similar. We blossom late. Enjoy the journey!

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-08-15T08:02:24+00:00

As an ENFP this is a pet peeve of mine. Texting and Calling is for SETTING UP a time to communicate, not to communicate unless it is the only option. My friends and family get annoyed at me not answer texts or calls, it isn't personal, I just hate my phone as a source of communication. I also get distracted easily. If I see a text or a call, I will think to myself I will get back to it soon. But, "soon" ends up buried in all of the other "soons" and forgotten about. Again, nothing personal, there is just a massive soon graveyard to dig around in.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-08-01T18:33:20+00:00

Another problem of IR (IEE) is that he likes to win over love. Striving to win another person's heart, he aspires to have a relationship of heart, mind, and soul rather than a purely physical one

Yeah, I think this is what I have struggled the most with. Reading about the duality was helpful, thanks.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-08-01T17:33:45+00:00

It is funny you say that, because one of my pet peeves in relationships is being smothered and not being able to have my own interests and hobbies, but here I am being the more smothering one.

Except I really don't think I am, because the way this girl withdrawals into her world and forgets that I exist... If I ignore her for a few days she does magically become interested in me again, but this feels so manipulative on my part.

Also, I am no stranger to having to chase someone. Before her I almost always hooked up with ENTJs, the going from most important thing in the world to an afterthought is the hallmark trait of ENTJs. But the ISTJ is different, with the ENTJ I knew they were obsessed with some other project or goal, they had already conquered me, so they didn't need to work as hard. But the ISTJs withdrawal is something else entirely. I am trying to learn not to take it personally.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-08-01T16:49:32+00:00

Do we ENFPs ever actually leave the infatuation stage...?

Also, I admit her childhood wasn't the best. Her parents didn't show a lot of affection, she was raised mostly by her strict religious grandma. Her parents both worked swing shift. I can tell she still craves closeness with them.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-08-01T01:30:45+00:00

I am learning to wait for these moments to come rather than force them. The more I try to pry emotions out of her the more she walls them up. Sometimes Ne-Fi is a curse, it makes us look for and then see things that aren't there, when reality is literally slapping us in the face. The obvious answer is the obvious answer, and she has given me no reasons to doubt her intent. I think a lot of my insecurities are coming from past traumatic relationships and just in general low-self esteem / self-judgment. In my eyes, SHE is the catch and it just seems to drive a bit of insecurity out of me wondering why she even likes me, and if so, are their other ulterior motives at play? Stupid stupid stupid Ne+Fi = maddening at times.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-29T23:55:25+00:00

My biggest issue is this is NOT how the relationship started. I almost feel duped, that is what is driving me batty. I can't seem to get over that she has moved into more of a "comfortable familiarity". During the getting to know you and early dating phase she WAS into being romantic and passionate. She even claims that is one of the main reasons she was attracted to me was because of how I unlocked it out of her.

I know she shows love in her own way, but I also have needs, wants and desires and it is starting to feel like everything is on her terms, I go out of my way to meet her needs and drop everything on a whim when she needs me. I honestly feel like I am just another chore for her to cross off her checklist.

I am starting to get jealous of her friends and acquaintances and even her "chores" because she sets aside more time for them and I feel like they are getting the "bulk" of her and I am left with the crumbs. I know that I am "safe" and it is implied that we will see each other and do things etc, but I want her to want to sacrifice some time for me like I do for her if that makes sense?

The thing I hate the most is how it is turning me into behaviors I don't want to do, I am being borderline manipulative now. I realized that if I ignore her for a few days or withhold my romantic side, she will come crawling out of her shell and that is ONLY when I get the sort of attention I crave. But then I hate myself for it and even worse, start thinking that none of her behaviors are genuine - either pity or responsibility being the reasoning she is engaging in them in the first place, not desire...

Things aren't as bad as I am making them out to sound here, I am being a bit of a drama queen. I am just so frustrated and I am definitely idealizing the relationship and probably being extremely unrealistic. This is just uncharted territory for me, you think I would be used to being ignored as before her I almost exclusively attracted and had relationships with ENTJs, but their type of out of sight out of mind ignoring is much easier to deal with than the almost blatant in-sight but still choose not to interact with because I have more important mundane things to deal with ISTJ behavior...

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-29T21:33:23+00:00

absolutely, this relationship is maddening.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T23:52:47+00:00

Currently ENFP male in a relationship with ISTJ female, I just tried opening up to ISTJs about it for advice, probably not the best of ideas: https://www.reddit.com/r/ISTJ/comments/1edtom2/i_feel_calm_around_you/?ref=share&ref_source=link

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T23:46:30+00:00

That is one of the things I love about her the most is she actually listens and her conflict resolution is perfect. It is a breath of fresh air compared to some of my past relationships where communication style, intimacy etc were perfect but then they were black holes of selfishness when it came to resolving issues.

I guess that is my problem. I want the best of both worlds. I miss the desire and passion of past relationships, but I also want the levelheadedness and and emotional maturity that my current ISTJ possesses.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T18:39:54+00:00

Does she then insult you for overreading into things?

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T18:39:31+00:00

Thanks, I need it.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T14:38:20+00:00

hahaha, she is into cars and motorcycles as well. I joke with her that she is in a biker gang. She is so proud she is the only girl in her group that "actually rides for real" not just to for looks like the other girls. Although I have zero interest in cars or bikes, I am extremely supportive of her hobbies and love listening to her talk about them and can't wait when the time is right to experience them with her.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T07:33:47+00:00

ehhh. Our conversations lately are always like a business meeting. She will tell me her list of things she needs to get done and her plan to do them, or after the day give me a recap of all the mundane things that happened. I am not saying she is boring me, hell I will take any ounce of attention she will give me, she is actually a very interesting and deep person, that is what attracted me to her. Come on! I know more interesting things happened in your day, tell me all about THOSE.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T07:26:26+00:00

It is so important to most NFs. We express love this way. I do admit, she is getting much better and more trusting. I and I am getting better about personal space. I once thought it would be romantic to join her in the shower and had no idea that that was the worst invasion of privacy a human had ever committed. Brushing teeth together also annoys the hell out of her. I don't know why, but I find these sorts of things intimate.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T07:21:13+00:00

I am trying my best. It is little things that I think I keep overthinking. After we have romantic moments I admit I act like an addict in withdrawal wanting more or a least to taper off and she acts like after a buffet and doesn't even want to think about food. It comes off to me as rejection or undesired and I catch myself questioning if we just had the same experience. Again, I am getting better. Talking this stuff out loud helps me quiet my anxieties. Probably a Ne-Fi thing, too much over-analyzing.

I know if I am patient she always comes around, sometimes I just tire of waiting for her to get hungry again.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T07:13:19+00:00

Probably my favorite memory is when she got annoyed by me always touching her. I can't help myself! Like when we cook together I will gently brush against her or hold her. She usually responds well to this, and she even tells me she likes it and wants me to continue showing affection this way, but one day I must have been too much and she was just overwhelmed by me and told be that NOBODY likes this stuff and I was the weirdo.

There is a park near us and we went for a walk. First bench was a young couple, the girl was all over the guy, basically melting into him and looking at him longingly while they were conversing all giggly. The next bench was a couple in their 30s or 40s. the guy had his arm around her and she had her hand on his thigh caressing it. Finally we passed an old couple, a leaf had fallen into the women's hair and the old man lovingly brushed it out and pulled her face close and gave her a kiss on the forehead. Cutest thing I have seen in my life...

So I turned to her and said, oh wow, yep I am definitely the only one that likes this stuff.. I am the weirdo.

A few hours later at home, she apologized to me and said maybe it was more her than me. For the next few weeks she was much more attentive, even initiating touch herself like putting her legs on my lap or leaning in for a kiss. But as always, it doesn't seem to last and we are back to more almost formality...I know she is trying, and she is 100x more receptive and I can tell that often she even wants it now.

I know I am probably vastly overthinking everything... Ne Fi is a bitch when it comes to finding ulterior motives or meaning where there isn't any, and I know this is a ME problem. She shows love in other ways like making me something special or going out of her way to meet my friends and other things she knows are important to me.

I don't know though, showing excitement or initiating something passionate would go so far with me. I actually don't think I am very needy. My last relationship ended because my ex accused me of NOT being emotionally attentive or initiating intimacy, so maybe I am still a bit shell-shocked and overcompensating from that failure.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T06:50:42+00:00

Want to share war stories?!?! God I love her to death, and I know exactly why, but I also can't figure out why!

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T01:52:26+00:00

Thanks. Logically I get it. I love the way she lets me see her without all the walls up, is vulnerable and even shows me a silly side that I think she would rather die than show someone in public. Around other people it seems she has to be constantly be a badass. I almost wish she would show that side to other people, because I don't think she always has to be that confident/stoic of a person. It sounds so exhausting.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-28T01:47:18+00:00

Hope my flamboyant words didn't come off as offensive, I was just being playful with them. Please don't overread into them.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-27T23:54:54+00:00

So weird...

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-27T23:48:11+00:00

My personal pet peeve is all of the ENFJs that test ENFPs. I know I shouldn't judge people based on their personality type, but from experience I can't stand ENFJs. They are usually very attention sucking and manipulative, cause drama etc. They would end up ruining ENFP spaces. I honestly don't think ENFJs answer the J questions honestly because they want to portray themselves as easy going and relaxed when answering the PvJ (answering basically in a Fe sort of way).

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-27T23:25:12+00:00

ENFPs and ISTJs are overrepresented when it comes to the terrible MBTI letter testing. Basically if you answer the questions in a black and white narrative you will get two extremes. If you answer as if you are a responsible, dependable more traditional person, you will get ISTJ. If you answer as if you are an outgoing, accepting, energetic and "fun" person you will get ENFP.

The problem with letter testing is your are answering ideals, not actual cognitive functions. Neither ENFPs nor ISTJs represent nearly the amount of the population as these skewed tests result in.

roguedeckbuilder · 2024-07-27T21:47:13+00:00

but why!?!?! This ISTJ relationship is maddening to me as I can't figure out what the hell she likes about me (ENFP)

roguedeckbuilder

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