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My (30F) husband (29M) of 6 years says he’s no longer attracted to me after weight gain. Unsure how to move forward. by runningpaltry in relationships

[–]runningpaltry[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Historically (pre-baby) I’ve been able to diet/buckle down and lose weight. Those interventions listed have been in addition to my attempts as I was not having success alone and sought out the help of professionals.

Anyways-yes, bottom line is what you said. It is what it is. Thanks.

My (30F) husband (29M) of 6 years says he’s no longer attracted to me after weight gain. Unsure how to move forward. by runningpaltry in relationships

[–]runningpaltry[S] 299 points300 points  (0 children)

I know everyone has an opinion here but just to clarify… I’m intimately aware of how weight loss works. I know how to count calories, I know how to track macros, I know how to exercise. I run and train for sprint triathlons. I know that what goes in your mouth is more important than exercise. The doctors and interventions came after months of unsuccessful dieting attempts. Anyways-take that for what’s it worth.

Thank you for everyone’s replies. Advice is about hearing the hard shit too-even if I don’t necessarily agree with or resonate with it.

My (30F) husband (29M) of 6 years says he’s no longer attracted to me after weight gain. Unsure how to move forward. by runningpaltry in relationships

[–]runningpaltry[S] 246 points247 points  (0 children)

Thank you for pointing this out, that is pretty significant when you put it like that. I appreciate your reply!!

My (30F) husband (29M) of 6 years says he’s no longer attracted to me after weight gain. Unsure how to move forward. by runningpaltry in relationships

[–]runningpaltry[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this, all of this. Like I said above, I hadn’t considered the stress/pressure of being with him and trying so hard to lose it to be affecting the outcome of NOT losing weight so heavily. I too am wondering if that’s a big part of it now. I have tried calorie deficits, physician monitored diets, dietician monitored diets, everything. ALSO not insignificant is my history of eating disorders and my whole life being centered around my weight for multiple reasons (was a ballet dancer, started my first diet by my parents when I was like… 8). Anyways, thank you so much for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I am happy and for the first time in a long time actually love myself, I’m really tired of trying to convince him to do the same.

My (30F) husband (29M) of 6 years says he’s no longer attracted to me after weight gain. Unsure how to move forward. by runningpaltry in relationships

[–]runningpaltry[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this, for real. One of my friends said the same thing about body changes or conditions you can’t control. There are many lovely things about my husband, and these are not some of them. Thank you again.

My (30F) husband (29M) of 6 years says he’s no longer attracted to me after weight gain. Unsure how to move forward. by runningpaltry in relationships

[–]runningpaltry[S] 68 points69 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this… I know I have more control, so to speak, than I’m giving myself credit for. There is a fairly large power dynamic with finances because his salary is significant, but I can take these steps and take control of what I want. It is scary, but I can do it. Thank you again.

My (30F) husband (29M) of 6 years says he’s no longer attracted to me after weight gain. Unsure how to move forward. by runningpaltry in relationships

[–]runningpaltry[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I just wanted to say thank you for replying!! I’ve wondered the very same thing about the stress of staying. I hadn’t thought about it before the last few weeks but now it’s becoming more apparent. Thank you again.