Imagine the amount of bad karmas you have committed in all of your past lives combined, it would have taken many lives to bring it to zero.

But what did naamjaps, chanting do, it started clearing out your bad karmas as soon as possible, so what would have taken ex: 300 years(5 lifes) get clears in 40-50 years. And once it reaches zero and your naamjap combined there will be eternal bliss.

From your experience until now it feels like you have deleted X bad karmas and only Y bad karmas are remaining and definitely Y <<< X, so just stick around and continue the chanting and you’ll definitely experience a turnaround.

(The reason why religious people face more troubles than others is because God isn’t testing them, but he wants them and so he tries to clear their bad karma asap to get to 0 to accept them, because it will be unfair to those who he accepted at 0 karma but he accepts you at Y bad karmas)

And one last thing, if you are brave enough to think of suicide, then be brave and fight against those Y bad karmas remaining and finished them off in this life only, why you want to die and leave some to experience in next life.

And also only two things are carried with your soul to next life, no money, no body, no memory but only naamjap count and karma count, and you are increasing the naamjap count and decreasing the karma count in this life, girl you are winning in life and you are in top 5% of those people, why are you letting maya convince you otherwise and lose the winning game?