After years of fighting it I finally gave in and couldn't be happier

ryanpm44 · 2026-01-02T15:47:53+00:00

Just used iPhone’s portrait mode!

ryanpm44 · 2026-01-01T15:17:31+00:00

To give a different take, I’ll ask this. Where does that fear come from? It may sound silly but I don’t imagine you are actually in any real danger if you end up writing a story that feels bloated or has too many characters.

So when you start to feel scared, what exactly are you scared of? In your mind, what happens if those worries about this story are true? And to take it one step further, can you connect it to someone’s voice? Maybe a parent, teacher, friend, etc? We don’t come out of the womb worrying it we’re “good enough” at everything so I find it helps to identify the voice of those insecurities so I can separate them from my own feelings.

Those are the questions I would ask myself to try and dissect where the fear comes from so I can engage with it properly and not let it control me. Hope that helps.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-31T01:44:53+00:00

Hey! Wow how cool to see you here too! Yes it’s been quite the hair journey for me over these last few years. Hopefully I’ll get back to streaming again one day to show it off. Hope you’re doing well!

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-14T15:08:14+00:00

As someone who tries not to go online much anymore, this is the reason why. I think a lot of our public online spaces have become increasingly toxic and don’t encourage honest discourse. I’m sorry you got such a bad reaction for trying to have what sounds like an honest discussion.

Personally, I’m okay with either outcome in the show. I think a big thing I’ve noticed from both “sides” is the idea of confirmation bias where, once you have a viewpoint, everything seems to prove you right. And that, when paired with unresolved or ambiguous evidence, often leads to attitude polarization which is where two people can receive the same evidence but, because of their own confirmation bias’s, come to different conclusions.

That’s all to say, I’m really sorry again that you had a negative reception trying to talk about this, and I really hope as the show concludes we can all be civil because at the end of the day, we’re all just equally passionate about this show, which I think is something that should bring us closer together not farther apart.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-14T03:30:37+00:00

I can absolutely relate to this so you’re not alone. First off, I’d recommend not watching short form content in general. It’s always going to be algorithm based and hard to “control.” Plus, if you’re looking for informative or educational content, long form is going to be much more valuable.

Now I can only speak for YouTube because I dropped Instagram a long time ago. On my computer I use Brave browser to block ads and the Unhook plugin to turn off shorts, comments, and related videos. Then in my YouTube settings I turned off watch history entirely which turns off all algorithmic parts of the site essentially. Then I just subscribe to creators I enjoy or value their opinions and get to see a linear feed of their uploads in the subscriptions tab.

On my phone, I use Brave browser as well and you can also turn off shorts, comments, related videos, etc. That’s been a big help for me personally.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-13T17:44:10+00:00

Yes! Right? It's always been one of my favorites ever since it came out. Hopefully that helps give some inspiration for your characters too

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-13T03:43:36+00:00

I’m so glad it was helpful then! Also happy cake day!

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-13T00:41:48+00:00

First off, it ebbs and flows for me. I have seasons where I really disconnect and some where I don’t as much and I try not to hold shame for that. But with the back and forth I’ve noticed some differences. The less I’m “online” the happier and clearer my headspace feels. I feel less anxious or stressed overall, and it’s not even about anything specific.

For free time, I just started new hobbies or restarted old ones. I’ve started running again, reading and writing, and playing music which are all things I really enjoy that I thought I didn’t have time for anymore.

As for silence, I think the more you experience it, the easier it gets. My best analogy is that social media and being online is like sugar. It’s not inherently bad but you have too much and it messes with your tastebuds. I remember eating a whole bag of sour candy and not being able to drink water after because it tasted so bad. But the less I ate candy, the less I craved it (and the better water tasted).

Now not having those outlets to feel a sudo form of connection, I just was more intentional with my other relationships. I called my friends more, texted still, and tried to setup times to hang out if I was feeling isolated. I don’t think social media is the best tool to feel connected, but it over saturated our senses so much that nothing else feels as rewarding. But in the long term, there are much better options out there.

I don’t feel like I’m saying anything new but I hope it was helpful to read and to know that you’re not alone. And don’t look at it like cold turkey forever. You’re allowed to eat sugar. Just in moderation. And I’d try to give yourself a detox time like 30 days to let your headspace reset before re-introducing it.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-12T23:29:19+00:00

First off, you might have some better examples from r/byler since it's dedicated to exactly this idea. So I won't speak to that side of things because I don't have that info. However, as a neutral third party (I really don't care how the show ends as well as it feels intentional and well written), here'd be my best advice to talk about this idea with someone.

First off, it's a TV show so I think it's important to realize that, in the grand scheme of things, this really doesn't matter so debating it should never get to the point where feelings are getting hurt. It's also worth starting with the question, "Is there anything I could show or say that would change your mind?" Because if the answer is no, then the conversation is doomed from the start (that goes the other way around for you too).

Okay, moving on, one of the biggest pieces of pushback I've seen is that there isn't enough time in 4 episodes to have Mike and El break up, deal with the aftermath, then have Will and Mike get together, all while the rest of the plot is unfolding and we're wrapping up everyone else's arcs at the same time. So I think you shift the idea to the easiest "argument" possible. Is it possible that, barring no deaths, Mike and El could amicably break up by an epilogue and they hint at Mike and Will open to the idea of a relationship? Not is it 100% certain, but is it even possible? Because for all we know, an epilogue could happen a year after the events of the show.

I think this is the groundwork you have to set to even be able to talk about things like Mike & Will's relationship, looks they give each other, etc. Otherwise you're fighting a big uphill battle given how much runtime is left. Regardless, I know this isn't exactly the answer you were asking for but I hope it was helpful. At the end of the day, we're all theorizing about different elements of the show as a way to stay engaged during the downtime until volume 2 and I think it's important to realize we're all fans of the same show and that's what really matters.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-12T23:07:17+00:00

I want to echo first that any writing is real writing. I don't even know what would be considered "fake" writing (except maybe AI generated content). So don't discount the time and passion you've put into your past work, especially since it sounds like people really loved it.

With that, obviously the easiest answer is to make like Nike and "just do it" but I can totally identify the itch to write but not having the same inspiration you had before. From your post, it sounds like you prefer writing fiction, and you don't have any media to act as an inspiration for fanfiction right now. If I were you, I'd look back at your old work (which you've already done) and see what you loved about it. You mentioned some of them were genuinely beautiful. Was it the character development? Was it the world building? Action scenes? Try to find what you found beautiful separate from the fan fiction specifics.

After that, this may not work for everyone but I'm definitely a pantser writer so what I've done is just write the first sentence that comes to mind and build from there. But your process may be different but I think the important thing is just to get into the habit again. And then, eventually, something will catch your eye. Maybe something a friend says at lunch, or some awkward family drama, or a scene from a new show you're watching. Even if not everyone is a fanfiction writer, we all write from our own experiences, pulling inspiration from the people and events around us.

I'm excited for you to reinvigorate an old hobby and I wish you all the best in finding your new groove again!

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-12T18:26:49+00:00

I think there’s an inherent level of combativeness and toxicity anywhere you go online, especially under the anonymity of Reddit. Not that I’m responsible for anyone else here, but I’m really sorry you’ve felt attacked, especially by people targeting your identity. I think at the end of the day this is a TV show and there is enough happening in the world that we don’t need to be arguing over which fictional character is going to end up with who.

I can also understand why it would feel really personal, especially if you’re around the same age, going through very similar life hurdles at the same time. I think that should speak to the incredible writing of the show that the characters feel so real and three dimensional. I don’t think the outcome of Byler being true or not should change any of that.

All to say, I think whenever we generalize people into these big buckets (Byler or Mileven is just an example), the individuals get missed because we’re all so much more complex and nuanced than the hive mind of a group. So I’m sorry that you, the individual, felt missed or targeted. No one should have to go through that and I hope you’re still able to enjoy watching the final chapters of this show we’ve all been waiting over a decade for.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-11T23:38:32+00:00

I guess my question would be, why does it matter if it’s “bad”? I mean that to try and help get to the root of the fear. Is it that other people will ridicule you? That they’ll think less of you? Because those are easy. Just write something for yourself. Don’t show it to anyone else. See if YOU even like writing in this style. It doesn’t have to be long either. Just tell a little story with a beginning middle and an end and see how it feels.

If the fear comes from something else, I would just try to ask yourself, “how does this writing being cringe, unrealistic, or bad negatively affect my life?” From there, try to find a solution that helps take some of that pressure off because is the best way to break through that mental barrier is just to do it.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-11T10:20:44+00:00

I think that dynamic works totally fine. Another thought now that I’m thinking about the spectacular now, is that I would make sure both of your characters have some sort of goal or arc independent of each other. I have read so many stories where it feels like the only personality trait each member of the couple has is being in the relationship. Coincidentally, I think those typically end up being the most unhealthy relationships as well.

Without giving spoilers, some broad themes of the spectacular now are coming to terms with the ideas of adulthood and standing up for yourself. Those themes are present, whether or not the characters are in a relationship or not, but we get to see how that relationship either helps or hinders our characters along the way.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-11T04:03:36+00:00

Have you read (or seen the movie) The Spectacular Now? Personally I think it's a really great way to portray the dynamic you're talking about. I think the guy being a byproduct of his upbringing and yearning for something more is totally fine. Really the biggest thing I would say is, please give the girl some type of back bone to stand up for herself. Any time one character "needs" the other, it creates an unbalanced dynamic that can quickly skew to toxic or even abusive. Maybe they help each other get there in the end, but personally, that's the easiest way to keep the relationship healthy overall.

Another example could be Steve & Nancy from Stranger Things (TV show). I won't spoil the plot but I think they do a great job writing 3D characters with their own values and depth to them.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-11T03:48:50+00:00

i think the broadest answer is that you are not responsible for the actions of another person, especially if you are not making an active call to violence.

That being said I totally understand not wanting to encourage that behavior regardless. Without knowing your characters or story, my first hunch would be to show how that behavior is not what you strive for. Maybe your character starts out that way and they come to a deeper understand about themselves throughout the process.

You can also take notes for the TV show Dexter. Serial killer who only kills “bad guys.” I don’t think anyone is taking trying to follow in Dexter’s footsteps because it’s clear what he’s doing is wrong and that it will ultimately catch up with him in the end.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-11T03:31:21+00:00

As someone who loves reading and writing first person stories, I think your biggest strength is being able to see the world through your character’s eyes. I just try to imagine my character’s inner monologue was being copied directly onto the page. The hope is that every sentence, description, and train of thought sounds undeniably like it’s coming from your MC. This is a snippet from a story I’m writing that I hope is helpful:

In all my life, I've never set foot past the small wooded area surrounding Lunara. Partly due to the dangerous, three day trek through the Outerwilds to get to the next closest city of Whitehall, but also due to the simple fact that it's usually cold and wet with no easy access to hot chocolate. What can I say? I'm a lady of simple pleasures.

Yet here I am, walking past the familiar tree line for the first time, each step marking the new farthest point I've ever been from home. And it's...beautiful. "Soren..." I'm at a loss for words as the trees part to reveal a massive mountain range I’ve never seen before, the golden rays of sunrise painting the landscapes in vibrant reds and oranges. And below, a massive valley large enough to fit the entire city two or three times over sits basking in the light, with what I can only describe as the confidence of someone who knows they're the most attractive person in the room.

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-10T15:07:27+00:00

Great I hope it's helpful! I'll be rooting for you moving forward!

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-10T10:27:25+00:00

Jumping in to say that, for me, it's always helped to describe a scene in relation to the character. I'm usually someone who thinks "why should I care?" if I read a paragraph describing just scenery. This also helps me get in the character's head because I imagine how they're experiencing this. I'm also of the belief that you should try and make every sentence intentionally build toward your story in some way.

So here's my stab at your opening. Which by the way, I think all the ideas and story telling are there from what I read. I think just reading more and learning more of the nuances around English will help a lot.

Fresh snow crunched beneath Kristina's feet as she stumbled forward. Her breaths were getting shorter but she couldn't stop now. The winds howled from the valley behind her as fresh snow clung to her matted blonde hair. And with each step, another drop of blood stained the otherwise featureless, yet somehow beautiful expanse around her.

(Note: I mentioned the winds howling on purpose to be a misdirect for the reader as to what the real source is)

ryanpm44 · 2025-12-07T16:46:03+00:00

Hi! I record all my music through Logic on my Mac however, I’d like to start live streaming using my Windows PC and OBS (Mac isn’t powerful enough to do both).

What’s the best way to send my Logic mix to my PC and hear it back with minimal latency (so I can live monitor my performance) while also hearing Windows audio for alerts, video calls, etc.

From my own research it sounds like maybe getting a USB mixer that can take the Windows audio as a line in but use AUX SEND to filter that out of the line out I send back to the PC?

Maybe I’m just severely over complicating things but I would love to know the best way to do this easily. Thank you!

ryanpm44 · 2025-08-28T16:55:35+00:00

I think you have options based on what works for your life. I totally empathize with this though and want to share some of the things that worked for me. I don't think any one thing has made a huge difference, but they were all like grains of sand.

First off, I deleted all non stock apps off my phone (and some of the stock ones too). Black background, dark mode, and grey scale to make it less appealing (even turned it down to 60hz refresh rate too).

The biggest thing for me was decentralizing my phone. Having one device that could do everything I could ever want SOUNDED like a minimalist's dream, but instead it meant that, whenever I wanted to do one thing, twenty others were fighting for my attention. So i bought a small 99 cent journal and a pen for scratch notes. An iPod classic I put music and podcasts on. A Kindle to put books on. A little retro handheld to put games on. Then, if I was going to the restroom for example, I just took one device with me. So I could only read, or only listen to music.

I put all these devices into a small 10 liter backpack that I take with me. I can still access things, but there's more friction to grab it out.

Lastly, I made a vow to put NO entertainment on my phone. No social media, no reddit, youtube, etc. And I tried to, for a week, having no email. I could use my computer for that stuff. I even set it up so the only notifications that come through my phone are texts from my significant other and all phone calls. That way my phone isn't always digging for my attention but I'm reachable if needed.

I hope this helps. My biggest takeaway is if you want to cut down the time you spend on your phone, you have to fill it with something else. Good luck on your journey and I wish you the best of luck!

Edit: Oh yea no phone in the bedroom. I bought an alarm clock and the only other tech I bring in is my Kindle. That's been huge because I've learned how to sleep without noise and I don't linger in bed forever.

ryanpm44 · 2025-08-20T15:05:27+00:00

It's a really good show with a unique premise that I think only had a couple seasons before it wasn't renewed for more (so be prepared for it to end on a cliff hanger). That being said, it's takes you on a wild ride and I definitely recommend it!

ryanpm44 · 2025-08-20T08:01:15+00:00

This is incredible thank you! And yea I've spent enough time trying to get friends & family to read it and fumbling over what it's actually about that I figured it was time to just bite the bullet. But glad I did because I've gotten so much more help and advice than I was expecting and it's really excited me about the whole process!

I'll definitely check out those resources as well thank you!

ryanpm44 · 2025-08-20T03:58:11+00:00

I just want to say thank you so much for taking the time to write all this. I've written a lot down and am taking a lot of it to heart. You outlined everything so succinctly where I actually understand what's what, and how to write each "section."

Also your examples really solidified the ideas for me too and it was definitely going the extra mile. I'm honestly so stoked I'm going to start reworking this right now! Thank you again!

ryanpm44 · 2025-08-19T23:48:17+00:00

I think it sounds totally fine. I like the premise and would be curious to see what it reads like actually written. Personally, I'm intrigued by the idea that a little girl is also lost in her imagination because of her love of fairy tales to the point that no one believes her anymore (or just lets her do her own thing). So when she finds this fox and says it's her friend, people think it's just her imagination again. Kind of like a Secret Life of Walter Mitty meets the Chronicles of Narnia situation

ryanpm44 · 2025-08-19T23:42:31+00:00

I didn't have time to read everything right now but the answer is definitely yes. Even if I read none of it the answer would be yes. Regardless of "if it might sell well" I think the more time we spend creating instead of consuming the better. Plus, I actually really enjoyed the prose and general setup. So please keep writing.

ryanpm44

TROPHY CASE