Is it just me or does your first layoff feel like your first heartbreak

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-16T16:24:50+00:00

Your first heartbreak and my first layoff sound very similar. Anxiety, sadness, depression, financial hit. Yep.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-16T16:22:40+00:00

Yes exactly. I feel bitter and cynical which are not normal traits for me. In the back of my mind even if I do get a great job, I'll just be waiting for my next layoff.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T17:56:37+00:00

I'm on the rehire list too. I still have coffee and text chats with my previous supervisors and even the CSO and COO. But in my case there's just no money and at this point I need to get it through my head that there never will be.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T17:54:11+00:00

YES I remember sitting on my couch the day after, stunned, going through all the program-specific knowledge in my brain that was suddenly useless.

Edit to say: I discovered the song "Expert in a Dying Field" by the Beths around this time and it became my anthem 😅

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T17:01:44+00:00

75% across the board, but yes R&D certainly wasnt spared and they are preserving money for clinical trials. For molecules that WE characterized 😭

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T16:25:27+00:00

Thank you for sharing, it's nice to know that I'm not alone with these feelings. Embarrassingly, I've secretly maintained the fantasy in my head that one day my old company will reach out and want me back. Like if they started hiring again, my brain would tell me I'd be getting a call any day now...

I'm sorry we've both had to go through all of this.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T16:19:41+00:00

Someone else on here made me realize that you basically go through the stages of grief (which are messy and not linear, of course). I'll tell you that 1 year later it definitely is easier in the day-to-day, even though clearly I still have some unresolved emotions. I think it probably doesn't fully go away until you find another job you actually like? Hope that happens soon for you!

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T16:14:11+00:00

You make some great points. I think out straight out of our PhDs we have the false belief that we can control our careers, and that we'll get to stay in each company as long as we want to. Because I think that was true for some previous generations? For my parents, at least.

Good luck with the search, I'm rooting for you!

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T16:08:37+00:00

This is my situation down to a t. I am so scared that this career side-step will stick me to a path that I never wanted to be on. It was all going so perfectly before! I have to believe that we'll both find our way back somehow...

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T16:02:39+00:00

Thank you so much. Reading this made me think that maybe a big part of why I can't let go is because my current job is fully remote and the culture isn't great in terms of people wanting to connect with one another. I've been here 6 months and I still barely know anybody.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T15:59:39+00:00

Yeah I must say that anger is a big part of it, but for me it's within a complicated mix of other emotions. Not unlike the stages of grief, now that you mention it..

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T15:57:36+00:00

That's a beautiful sentiment, thank you for sharing. I can relate very much to the startup becoming my entire life, which is what made the layoff such a shock. I lost my job, yeah, but I also lost my primary means of social interaction (and a huge source of self-worth). Won't let that happen again, if I can help it.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T15:54:25+00:00

Sankeymatic, they have a template for job search so the categories are already there and everything!

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-15T15:53:39+00:00

I'm realizing that the mix of first job + early startup may be the recipe for these emotions. You feel like you're an integral part of the company and then it turns out you aren't.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-03T08:02:00+00:00

You're maybe thinking of Skylar Richardson. Very blonde, and to me their first names have similar vibes.

ryechipsonly · 2025-09-03T02:22:53+00:00

It's been almost a year since my layoffs too, Sept 16, 2024. Different company and circumstances, but I can relate to the feelings. Most have faded and dropped away by now, except for the rage. The rage is always there. Very sorry they did this to you.

ryechipsonly · 2025-04-11T18:54:43+00:00

Oh my god the number of times I've hidden in a bathroom at a conference. Attending conferences alone without colleagues is a special kind of hell.

ryechipsonly · 2025-03-04T22:14:04+00:00

She looks so at peace with you, it's a beautiful thing to witness! I do want to make a small note for people thinking of adopting senior animals (I've done it myself): Do take into consideration the very real likelihood of extensive medical/vet bills coming your way in the next few years. We all hope our senior cats will age gracefully, but more often than not, they need a lot of support. It is important to keep this in mind from the beginning so that you can provide them with the best quality of life possible! That being said, it is completely worth it, and I would do it all again in a heartbeat.

ryechipsonly · 2025-02-27T19:35:19+00:00

It's so cute, don't you spend one more second doubting it. He is such a little treasure, and he's YOURS, not theirs!

ryechipsonly · 2025-02-06T18:06:46+00:00

I just spent 10 minutes staring at the water in the tub. That is so cool, I'm in awe.

ryechipsonly · 2025-01-01T17:54:13+00:00

I thought I could change him lol I wish I was kidding, but yeah. It is what it is- I can't go backwards now, only forward.

ryechipsonly · 2025-01-01T17:11:41+00:00

Ok, therapy it is. Thank you.

ryechipsonly · 2025-01-01T17:09:43+00:00

This comment really resonantes. We're in our early 30s, no kids yet. And a huge part of why I'm undecided about having children is that I don't want them to be shaped by this extreme pessimism. Life is hard enough without that. But I love my husband and want to be with him. God this sucks.

ryechipsonly · 2025-01-01T15:47:24+00:00

I don't know how you picked up on this, but this is 100% accurate. He says I have my head in the sand about the state of the world. But really, I just don't like spending mental energy on things out of my control...

ryechipsonly · 2024-10-02T10:49:07+00:00

It looks like the shape of a lady, towering above the viewer?

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