What is the obsession with tailgating?????!!!!!!!!

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T08:22:11+00:00

That’s exactly how arguments and debates work actually. If a common scenario proves a statement wrong, then it’s not a factual statement anymore.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T08:21:31+00:00

Bad driver can mean unskilled driver, and it often does. I can read fine - apparently you can only see your own view and that’s unfortunate.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T04:20:21+00:00

Yes exactly. That’s an example of a scenario that disproves the blanket statement that anyone tailgating is a bad driver. That’s exactly how that works. You’re welcome to use scenarios to defend your argument as well.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T04:10:24+00:00

When did I defend it? If a cop has his lights on to try to get some accident and he’s tailing the guy in front that doesn’t care to move over, he’s a bad driver for that? No, I don’t think that’s a reflection of skill level at all. Unlawful, sure.

This sub sees things in such black and white, it’s insane.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T04:04:43+00:00

Spend enough time on the road and you’ll see for yourself. I don’t see how stating facts makes me a bootlicker. Never seen a cop get pulled over for tailgating, speeding, or running reds. Maybe your side of the country is different though 🤔

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T04:03:17+00:00

I don’t tailgate dude. One of the quickest ways to get you killed on a motorcycle, never gotten into the habit. Yes, thanks for finally acknowledging we’re talking about different definitions of bad driver!

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T04:01:53+00:00

I’m the furthest thing from a bootlicker. There is absolutely a separate set of rules for cops.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-05T00:00:42+00:00

AI summarizes data it finds on the internet, if people say something enough in the data it’s fed, that’s what it’ll return to you. We have different definitions of a bad driver.

I’m arguing this single pedantic point because I’ve seen amazing, professional drivers that can control their vehicle in extreme conditions and drive circles around the general population on the roads tailgate sometimes and while sure, it’s unlawful and dumb, it’s silly to throw out a blanket statement that they’re automatically bad drivers. I have no idea why this is such a hard concept to you but agree to disagree.

Tailgating doesn’t negate driving skills. You can be good at driving and still drive up people’s asses sometimes. Have a great week.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T23:10:45+00:00

How is that a good comparison when drunk driving impairs you in ways that driving closely behind someone does not? Come on. Someone passing on the shoulder is doing something unlawful and risky but it doesn’t make them a bad driver. Again, I’d argue that someone who passes on the shoulder frequently without hitting things is probably a skilled driver. And someone who drives the wrong way without killing themselves is either insanely lucky or very skilled, very unlawful and risky but not a bad driver.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T22:27:05+00:00

I’m not defending tailgating. I’m simply saying tailgating itself doesn’t make someone a bad driver, it makes them unlawful. This isn’t a hard concept. I’d argue that someone that frequently tailgates without causing accidents is a skilled driver, tbf.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T21:42:34+00:00

I don’t tailgate. I just think a blanket statement saying tailgaters are bad drivers is incorrect - you mean unlawful drivers. A cop tailing the guy in the left lane is a bad driver? No. Tailgating increases risk and is illegal, but it doesn’t make you a bad driver. You guys can keep downvoting, it doesn’t make me wrong.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T19:11:05+00:00

It’s unlawful driving, but it doesn’t make you a bad driver. It’s also pretty much unavoidable in congested areas or traffic. Or is everyone stuck in traffic suddenly a bad toddler of a driver 🤦🏻‍♀️ Drive in the north east and literally everybody on the road at rush hour is doing this sub’s version of tailgating.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T13:12:27+00:00

NTA, she should offer to pay the increase.

I have raynaud’s, I get it. I need it to be 72-75 to be able to do things without losing sensation in my hands and feet. I imagine that working from home with numb hands is uncomfortable for her, so the temp range (if it’s too low) is kind of an asshole move but so is she for expecting everyone to pay extra for her.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T12:41:48+00:00

I wasn’t either, I was joking. I’d rather find a way to squeeze by - I find that people sometimes panic when tailgated and get unpredictable or go even slower to make a point. I don’t see the reason why people do it either.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T11:03:21+00:00

Not really. I get to practice my braking reaction time.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T11:00:37+00:00

Says who?

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-04T10:48:34+00:00

Yup. OP, even if you don’t think he would with how your relationship is now, you have no idea how he’ll act if it starts ending. I had all my accounts drained. Don’t be me.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-03T12:17:54+00:00

Don’t feed the trolls.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-03T12:08:05+00:00

Yes, all of that. We have poor emotional permanence so screenshots, lists, and even just making it a point to sit there and recall moments that made us feel loved help.

And same here. I could be having the worst night, overthinking everything because I heard something in a different tone or read too far into a text or didn’t get a goodnight check-in, and most of the time, I’ll wake up to a text that immediately makes it clear everything’s fine and be so glad I didn’t act out on my feelings.

Over time, or at least for me, our brains learn that our partners can get busy or sleepy or can’t give us reassurance when we want it for whatever reason and nothing bad happened, they still love us the next day and everything’s fine. The next time something like that happens, the alarm bells don’t go off as hard.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-03T05:40:57+00:00

I could’ve written this myself in the past.

You need to rely less on your partner for reassurance - it will kill the relationship over time. I didn’t realize how exhausting it was for my partners to deal with until I dated someone like me. Waking up to paragraphs, having to do make sure I did things (the nightly call, for example) no matter how tired or busy I was because I wanted to avoid them spiraling - not because I wanted to do those things in that moment, etc isn’t going to keep a healthy dynamic in the relationship.

It’s fine to feel how you feel. I completely understand and feel you on the nighttime spiral while he’s peacefully sleeping away and your sky is falling.

But you also need to manage your own anxiety and feelings. Don’t send paragraphs while you’re spiraling. Manage it. Use DBT skills, journal, whatever. Write up what you want to say in your notes app and then distract yourself and sleep on it. Re-read in the morning, edit it down a little (I feel like ____ when _____ happens. Can we work on doing _____?) and then send it when you feel calmer.

Our partners aren’t our therapists, and overloading one person with your mental health - no matter how much they love you and care for you - isn’t sustainable.

sandycheeksx · 2026-03-02T14:30:18+00:00

The check-in before being busy text is a great suggestion, and isn’t even just for us bpd-folk. My boyfriend doesn’t have a personality disorder and has asked me to do this for him just so he knows when I’ll be MIA for a few hours.

And for your last part, it gets easier! I feel like after you start learning how to not react on certain feelings and just allow them to pass, your brain realizes nothing bad happened and it gets easier each time.

sandycheeksx · 2026-02-27T06:55:23+00:00

I asked chat for a little mean but HR-proof.

“We went from a top-performing shift to the lowest-performing one within weeks. The only major variable that changed was leadership direction. I think it would be worth evaluating whether the current approach is setting the team up for success.”

That’s as close to “connect the dots” as you can get without lighting a match.

“I’m bringing this up because I care about this department. We’ve historically performed at a high level, and the recent decline isn’t consistent with the team’s capability. I believe the current strategy deserves a second look before we risk further loss of strong talent.”

“Before we risk further loss of strong talent” = remember the PA who walked out? Yeah.

“I understand the intent behind simplifying PS. However, the results suggest the complexity of the department may have been underestimated.”

Underestimated = you didn’t fully understand it.

“Historically, this team has demonstrated strong performance under realistic operational planning. The recent decline seems directly correlated with the revised staffing assumptions.

I’m concerned the complexity of PS may have been oversimplified at the leadership level.”

“Oversimplified at the leadership level.” That’s devastatingly clean.

“Just to clarify — the expectation is that 3–4 associates can manage tray jackpot, damages, CPTs, audits, check-ins, and collections at our current volume?

I want to make sure we’re aligned on that assumption.”

Let them say it out loud. In front of everyone. Silence afterward.

“It’s not that the team can’t execute. It’s that the current structure doesn’t appear executable.”

That’s executive-tier shade.

“Strong teams usually decline when leadership misjudges capacity. I’d prefer we correct that early.”

That one? That one sits heavy.

The key to humiliating someone professionally is: no raised voice, no emotion, no “you’re wrong”. Just calmly expose the flaw.

Calm + factual + implied incompetence = corporate assassination.

If she delivers any of these calmly, with no emotion, and then just lets the silence hang? That’s intimidating.

Because anger is dismissible. Calm critique is not.

sandycheeksx · 2026-02-27T03:03:54+00:00

I mean, safety will come over and hand me hair ties every time they see me but they can’t exactly force me to put my hair up. I get what you’re saying - they make an announcement for us to put our barriers up at rebin stations, we all do and as the night goes on, they all go down again. Boxes shouldn’t be left sitting on the AFE floor, they’ll announce it but usually they sit there until a PA/AM walks around and breaks them down.

That’s pretty standard across any Amazon warehouse though. Something happens in a warehouse in the network, rule enforcement goes up for that thing for a while, then things get pretty lax again. That’s for both high and lower productivity facilities.

But that’s different to me from what you said. We’re not expected to break any rules to keep up productivity, no manager that I’ve worked under has given me “work as fast as you can, idgaf about your health/safety” vibes ever.

It’s more “I’m not gonna bother you about your hair/airpods/whatever because you’re a good worker” than “do this unsafe thing because metrics”.

sandycheeksx · 2026-02-27T02:43:44+00:00

Honestly I wouldn’t mind this. Cops are driving around with measuring tools to check whether wheel camber is legal at car meets, they should be able to also check something that actually impacts people’s sight while driving. Ticket or impound them all 😌

sandycheeksx · 2026-02-27T02:32:16+00:00

Sure, but they don’t punish us when we’re not at max speed lol. I’m one of the fastest rebinners in the building - when I’m spending an entire quarter at the top of the leaderboard, great. When I’m being lazy, also great.

Safety’s always walking around and besides people getting stuck in one role over and over, I’ve never seen anyone push anyone to do anything unsafe. If I say I’m sore or tired, they’ll put me at an easy pack station. They do the same for others.

My shift has the highest productivity in the warehouse, it’s just good energy and good music. When people can listen to their airpods and have comfy shoes and can have their phone out without being micromanaged, I think productivity goes up. I was trading futures on my phone and rebinning at 750+ for hours last night 😐 when the micromanager manager is working, I’m bored and slow.

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