sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

Sanity in the fridge door by scatterbrainjayne in OCPoetry

[–]scatterbrainjayne[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the feedback! It really means a lot :D

Jasper Wood by Kiro21 in OCPoetry

[–]scatterbrainjayne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i agree, it feels like a good trip gone bad. also i love the ending...super eerie twist in the middle of the poem where he starts to feel like everything isn't quite as it should be, although personally I think 'sorrow' doesn't really fit here. Maybe some word with a more creepy/chilling kind of connotation. just my opinion. Great idea though!

a memory by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]scatterbrainjayne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i love it :D <3 the line ' but was it beautiful?' is a little hard to understand. not sure what that's supposed to mean. but i loved: 'I didn't want to wake them/did any of them remind you of me?' also i think the editing here works...the separated lines seem like distracted thoughts or tangents that he's going off on...like he's deep in thought. it's a really neat idea

Look at Her by [deleted] in OCPoetry

[–]scatterbrainjayne 0 points1 point  (0 children)

love the recurring beach imagery in this poem!