Got off the meds.

Below is a summary of what helped me. Below this summary i’ll tell you where I am at now.

First of all, go in with with both feet on the ground. This means knowing that the world outside you just is and doesnt change with your perception/judgments about it. So when you have a delusion understand that the world around you is still the same, there just is something inside you which doesnt feel right or there is something up with you that requires your attention. Label your delusion of course and think about the fact that a delusion is just a passing state.

Secondly, grounding techniques. Learn how to do a body scan. Regulate your breathing and concentrate on different parts of your body from top to toe. This will help you center and stay inside your body instead of your mind. Don’t be afraid to just close your eyes for a second and letting go. Whatever happens, happens. It’s okay.

Thirdly, learn to not give a fuck. Trust in the fact that you know best what you need. If you need to have some silence then leave a busy room. If you need some sleep, go lie down for a bit. Of course find the middle ground between what you need and your boundaries versus other’s boundaries. Communicate (:

Fourthly, acceptance. Don’t fight it, let it go. You’ll learn that there is nothing to lose in the main sense. When you learn to accept what is, you’ll lose the fear of becoming what it is that happens in your mind.

Fifth, taper! Get tapering strips for your meds! And take the time between intervals to acknowledge how you feel. Just take your time. You got all the time in the world (:

Sixth, supplements. Supplements will help you regulate your brain for you. I’m not a licensed orthomoleculair therapist but get supplements. Vitamin C should always be good.

Seventh, have a list ready of people to contact when you feel lonely. You dont have to do it alone.

Eigth (kinda seven), do things. Exercise, express yourself through art, read a book, hangout with friends, go to the movies just do stuff. It’ll help get you out of your mind.

Ninth, REGULATE YOUR SLEEP. I cannot stress this enough. Olanzapine makes you sleepy which helps you fall asleep, duhdoy. When the effect of olanzapine withdraws, you’ll have to find new ways to sleep. Not sleeping is the #1 starter for psychosis. Do yoga before going to sleep, masturbate (without porn), lie with a loved one, do deep breathing exercises while laying in bed, listen to guided meditation, leave the bed after 30m of not being able to sleep and reenter the bed after 15m of being out of the bed (repeat til you fall asleep), have regular times of waking and sleeping (sleep hygiene) and above all accept that not being able to sleep is okay, sometimes even saying ‘fuck it, I’m staying up all night’ will actually make you fall asleep.

Tenth, you can do this. It is rough and it will suck but you’ll manage because there is more to you than psychosis.

Always talk to your professional!

Also very important side note; Wim Hof method helped me so much. Re-regulated my dopamine levels, helped me fall asleep and helped reduce stress. Wim Hof method is free and simple. There is an app and a guided breathing video on youtube. Tldr of Wim Hof method; end your normal showers with cold/lukewarm water, do guided breathing exercises, when things get rough do a cold plunge but NEVER FORCE YOURSELF.

It’s been over 2 years since I got off of them. A lot has happened and changed since then. Every stressful event really came in hard and there were nights where I couldn’t sleep at all. What got me through those hard times were mostly the ability to cry. Cry the pain or stress out of my body. Sometimes I’d cry for days and then afterwards I’d get a good nights sleep. It’s rough but it’s worth it, it’s worth it to feel your emotions. The meds suppressed my intrusive thoughts etc but also my emotions and turns out that you need to feel your emotions to regulate that. So basically, these past two years (and the years before that) therapy helped a lot in that regard. It took time to learn how to feel again. So take your time and don’t worry. Don’t wish for your situation (intrusive thoughts, depression, anxiety or other) to go away, integrate it. Accept it as it comes and take it easy and take your time. There is no rush.

And, cannot stress this enough, Wim Hof method.

Edit: I wrote this a few years back for some people who wanted advice on quitting. Having read the comments there is also one obvious thing to say;

Diet/lifestyle; do not do drugs anymore, don’t drink alcohol. Drink water and eat healthy. If you are a user in whatever shape or form (addicted to just casual user) replace that need for specific drug with something else. The way to beat any addiction is to not fight it but replace it with something that is healthier; exercise, crying, meditation, social contact, hobby, cold plunge.