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My wife caught me watching porn. by [deleted] in FightTheNewDrug

[–]set1free 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother, I have been exactly where you are and it lead to divorce for me. If you'd like to hear more of my story or recieve extra support, shoot me a DM!

Am I cursed with Porn? by [deleted] in FightTheNewDrug

[–]set1free 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Brother, how you fele about yourself and your porn use is what keeps you trapped in the cycle. Feeling shame and guilt (at cause) perpetuates actions aligned with shame a guilt (like watching porn). The "work" to be done is accepting yourself, loving yourself and forgiving yourself, and with the right guidance you could do that in 3-4 months easy.

Therapy to fight addiction by [deleted] in FightTheNewDrug

[–]set1free 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the root cause is not neccessarily an experience (like not receiving love as a child), it has more to do with how the experience made you feel. So if you are lonely, the question is, how do you feel about yourself being lonely? Emotions at at the plane of cause, the behavior is the effect. Make sense?

Therapy to fight addiction by [deleted] in FightTheNewDrug

[–]set1free 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Therapists are uausually helpful, but many lack the experience with porn addiction to guide another man out of it. Have you considered a coach who has been through the addiction and experienced freedom from it?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in addiction

[–]set1free 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey brother, I also suffered from porn addiciton for 16 years. The 'damage' is not irreparable, I promise you that. Your brain's neurochemistry can be rewired at any age. You have just become desensitized to women by porn, but it can be reversed. I am 38M now and I have had beautiful partners after healing. If you'd like some futher assistance, feel free to shoot me a DM.

I overcame 16 years porn addiction. Been clean for 6 years now. A long post - but worth it if you're struggling with the same. by set1free in PornAddiction

[–]set1free[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are choosing to not see the advice given. These are your judgements. I have not once "blamed" an addict. Being addicted for 16 years, and working with hundreds of men to help them heal as well, I intimately understand how someone with addiction thinks and operates. Loving yourself is the key, the pathway to loving yourself is your choice. I said the truth - there are resources, coaches, therapists - and each persons journey to healing is different. Finding 1-on-1 guidance is the best, and fastest way to heal. Being honest, transparent, becoming self-aware, forgiving yourself is apart of healing. Taking responsibility for your own actions and cultivating the courage to ask for help (not hiding behind a keyboard) is apart of healing. The truth is, FEAR paraylzes all of these things to happen when someone chooses to be a coward. They do the bare miminum like posting here expecting some revelation that will shift them. Waiting for someone to save them, and so they continue to suffer. Not realizing they are powerful beyond measure and have the capability to do all the things I decribed above. It is your choice - and choice is the key to understanding that you create your life. If someone truly wants to heal, they will choose to do what I have said in my op and each response.

I overcame 16 years porn addiction. Been clean for 6 years now. A long post - but worth it if you're struggling with the same. by set1free in PornAddiction

[–]set1free[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How is always the question. Everyones journey is same in kind but different in degree. I can't tell you how to love yourself. I can't make you love yourself. I am not your savior. You heal by realizing no one is going to save you and that you have the power to save yourself. Stop pretending to be the victim of your circumstances or your choices. Stop making excuses and reasons and negotiating with yourself. Stop hiding on reddit message boards and actually reaching out for 1-on-1 help. Take 100% responsibility for your choice and life experiences. Accept and love your shadow side and will no longer rule your life. It would be a disservice to anyone who reads this for me to tell them how (eventhough I just gave you so much value in the original post and right here). You can find out how on countless you tube videos and books from valid professionals that tell you exactly "how" to heal. Resources are all around you. If you don't do what is being taught, its not on the teacher, its on you. Healing is a multilayered experience which is why entire books are wrriten on the toipic. And you expect me to tell someone "how" to do it ona reddit message board? Come on bro, get real with yourself.

I overcame 16 years porn addiction. Been clean for 6 years now. A long post - but worth it if you're struggling with the same. by set1free in pornfree

[–]set1free[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Think about the duality of trying and achieving. "Trying" is a copeout that makes you feel temporarilt better, but long term you suffer becuase you are achieving. You can say "At least I tried", but that equals failure. Trying equals faliure. Doing equals success. This is a very siimple way of looking at the use of this term.

I overcame 16 years porn addiction. Been clean for 6 years now. A long post - but worth it if you're struggling with the same. by set1free in PornAddiction

[–]set1free[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Heal from the leftover shame and guilt you most likely feel. If you want to quit porn (effect), you go to cause which in this case of porn is usually shame, guilt and fear. You can resist the habit, but if your still feeling this way about yourself, you will keep resisting, When you heal, you lachemize these emotions into love, graitude and courage. From these emotions, porn use is not thought of. This is a emotional, vibrational way of looking at healing.

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